I didn't have any dreams.

Do you remember much about what happened yesterday?

Yes.

Are you willing to explain your understanding of it to me?

The reason I'm like this is because of a really bad mistake I made and when you did that, suddenly it didn't count, magically, and so I didn't feel this way anymore, but we can't ever do it again.

Why can't we do it again, if it helped you feel better?

Because one part of the mistake is I'm not allowed to undo it, and I wouldn't have been allowed to do that if I'd known it would undo it, and now that I do know, I can't let you do it.

What was the mistake?

She shakes her head.

Can you tell anyone?? You can't tell anyone, right?

I can't! I can't tell anyone anything about what I learn while we're working unless you explicitly tell me to confirm or deny something you say. Or if you start slandering me, there's an exception for that, but I can't tell anyone about this.

Good.

It doesn't really matter, does it? I can't do it, and so I can't get better.

I don't really understand very much about how oaths work, Bella says. Does the exact wording matter? Maybe there's a loophole?

I don't think so. I didn't think it was - causing all of this - but I think about it a lot, I always want to follow through on it, and I'd have thought of a loophole.

Can you tell me anyway just in case?

She shakes her head.

Why not, is that part of it?

No, I just can't imagine saying it again, it feels like that'd make it even more real.

I can look, if you let me.

She shakes her head again.

When I did, I knew that the most important thing was to get my memories back. I just knew it. It just sat there in my head, like it was as obvious as my name, that I had to get my memories back.