"You could mention it around people who aren't me. Or in ways I can't follow. I won't speak competent Quenya for years, probably longer because I don't have your gift for languages and I can just subtle arts it. Or, you could pause before you say things like that and warn me that you're going to so I have a moment to make sure I'll control my face and think about what I'll say. But mostly my reaction to this situation is 'people should not say that even if they don't think you're listening, that's horrible'."

"I"m going to say something on this topic," he says primly. "They say it because it's obvious, you can't expect people to hide the truth in every conversation just because it makes me sad."

...Bella giggles. "All right, do you think these people would say I made my parents get divorced? It happened pretty much right after I was born, after all, they decided they didn't want to be married anymore and they could do that because they're humans."

"If my parents stopped loving each other immediately after having me that'd also probably be because of me, yes."

"There's a difference - a really important difference - between 'because of me' and 'my fault'. In my parents' case I think they actually would have gotten divorced either way, they had me pretty quickly after they got married in the first place and it just didn't take them that long to discover it had been a bad idea - but even if what had happened was that they were too stressed out at having a baby Bella to love each other any more, what could I possibly have done? I couldn't even talk."

"Okay. I'm going to talk about this subject. My mother is dying because of me. That makes me sad and makes everyone wish I didn't exist. Even if I am not culpable it is a bad thing that is a consequence of me and I will never do enough good things to make up for it so the world where I exist is better than if I didn't."

"Did they have you by accident?" Bella asks. This is not something she would normally ask a child but she is pretty sure that if there's any hint of it this particular child will know and be perfectly willing to tell her all about it.

"How would you have a child by accident?"

"But they made a mistake, I am a mistake. It's different. They did something that turned out badly. I am something that turned out badly. They still matter, I don't."

"Why would that make you not matter?"

"I shouldn't exist at all!! I cannot possibly do anything with my life that will be valuable enough to make my whole existence not a mistake?"

"My parents shouldn't have gotten married but I think I matter anyway. Do you not think I matter?"

"Would the whole world be better if you didn't exist?"

"Do you mean, if they got married but didn't have a kid, or got married but had a different kid, or didn't get married...?"

"Any of those things."

"Well, I can't know exactly what would have happened, but in particular I think if they'd had a different kid that wouldn't be better, I think I'm pretty neat."

He laughs shakily. "I don't want to be better than some other kid my parents could have had, I want to be better than them having decided not to have children."

He nods.

"You seem very smart, and while I still don't think this should be your job I bet you can do that."

"I could fix your home world, and the Outer Lands, and all the other planes, and then it'd be better than if I didn't exist."

"Youuuuu should leave my home world for very late in that list if you get around to it at all. At least for any intervention that involves traveling there."