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This is the wrong building. She could have sworn the RA said "take a left at Emily, first on your right", and Bella did exactly that, and here she is and the rooms in this place don't even seem to be numbered, it's all letters and names. She's not going to find Intro to Subtle Therapy in Room 206 like that. Maybe the RA meant take a left after Emily, not before Emily? Maybe she was supposed to go the other way around the quad and approach Emily from the other direction? She's going to be late.
Bella tries to get out of the letter-named-rooms building to go ask Emily for directions, but that's not a stairwell after all, and there's someone shouting at her not to come in and she flinches back and clonks her elbow on the door and boots or no boots she's down and she -
- is falling -
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subtly_artistic
subtly_artistic
"You're not a pet. And - and people treat their cats as having more autonomy than that."
"Cats don't kill their mothers."
"Right," he says, "sorry. I forgot. I'll leave."
"Don't like being around people who are mad at me."
subtly_artistic
"I'm not mad at you. I'm sort of mad at your father and anybody who's ever said nasty things about you."
Another wobbly smile. "I say nasty things about me. And they're true. It's not fair to get angry with people for saying true things."
"You shouldn't be mad at my father. He wanted lots of children and instead he just got me and I'm really difficult and I killed my mother and he still tries really hard to love me."
subtly_artistic
"He can't let you be alone. He's got you on house arrest. And I very much doubt that he's doing these things because he thinks you're going to run off and stab somebody, so it is not a straightforward reaction to anything to do with your mother!"
"He might think that," Fëanáro says in a very small voice.
subtly_artistic
"Do you honestly think it plausible that he won't leave you alone because he thinks you're going to volitionally commit murder."
"No one's said it, this I had to piece together but I'm really good at that. There were people who didn't want Rúmil to come to the undying lands, because sometimes when the Enemy captures someone they come back and they're not all right and the Enemy still has them and they hurt people. I think it's part of why he hasn't fixed his eyes yet but he says it's just because he would have to die and come back and he likes his body.
And people say that maybe the Enemy somehow reached me and marred me and that's how I introduced this unknown kind of grief into Valinor."
And people say that maybe the Enemy somehow reached me and marred me and that's how I introduced this unknown kind of grief into Valinor."
subtly_artistic
"Oh my gods, I never thought I'd want an exorcist on hand but at least if I could call one of those and anybody knew what they were you'd just have one really unpleasant afternoon and then everyone could calm down!"
"..what's an exorcist?"
subtly_artistic
"In my plane people can be possessed by demons, which is very bad for everybody involved, and people who practice divine magic can drive out the demons, which is no fun for the possessed person but then the exorcist can tell everybody they did their thing and the danger's past."
He nods. "But you don't practice divine magic?"
subtly_artistic
"Nope. Temperamentally unsuited to it. And if I hadn't been I'd have been a healer, not an exorcist."
He nods. "But I really might be marred by Melkor. Some people think so."
subtly_artistic
"I've told everyone I've had a conversation with how horrible my world is and nobody has asked 'and could there theoretically be something wrong with you that makes you dangerous'."
"Because you haven't made anyone horribly sick! If you did, then they'd start wondering."
subtly_artistic
"I -" She stops again. "I could technically say what I was about to say but I don't know if I should."
"You should. Knowing more things is always better."
subtly_artistic
"Using subtle arts is not perfectly safe. The part I haven't learned to do is the therapy part, not the actual techniques, so I'm not very dangerous like that. By my world's standards it's routine and harmless to go to a subtle artist and get something tweaked, or play with the recreational applications. But here I'm the only subtle artist around and can't call a better one to fix it if I make a mistake, or anything. And - since I'm terrified of your father reasons aforementioned - I didn't - I didn't know what would happen to me if I made a mistake with your mother. A mistake which nobody could be positive was actually a mistake, because how would they tell? And I had to ask because I don't work well when I'm scared and I needed to have the best actual chance of doing it right, not the best pretend chance. And he said that he wouldn't hurt me. But - but I think not letting you be alone is hurting you, it's just not throwing you in a dungeon or killing you or anything."