why does Her Majesty have perfectly good treason laws if she's not going to use them to punish the people we're mad at :(
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A great many Wicked Pamphlets have of late spread Vile Lies within the city concerning the Queen's appointed Nobility. Many of these Scribes have been Prosecuted for their crimes; but they have been given sentences of Great Leniency, amounting to a mere Thirty Days in Captivity, and allowed to retain their Heads. Still others have been allowed to Run Free despite their Slanders and Calumnies.

Such a thing ought not be Tolerated; and it need not be Tolerated, for such men commit not only Deception, but Treason. To aid the enemies of Cheliax against our Queen is to betray the Country, and by suggesting such claims as have been repeated in the pamphlets is an attack on the Dignity of the Queen, and an attack on all Cheliax.

I speak here not of such Ordinary Claims as that the Nobility appointed by the Queen have proposed certain Laws in the Convention, so long as such claims be True; for there is no Treason in Honestly Repeating such accounts, even if men think ill of their conduct. But there are certain Scribes who have written Far Worse Slanders, saying that there are those among the Queen's appointed Nobility who were Born of Abrogail Thrune I, or who have Gone to Bed with Archdevils, or who have committed Perfidy against a Surrendered Foe. Such Vile Falsehoods are Treason against the Queen — and even if they were True, they would still constitute Treason, for Foolish Men might be stirred to Betrayal of their Country.

Let those Wicked Pamphleteers who have put such things to paper be Arrested at once, and brought in on charges of Treason, and given the Mercy of the Final Blade or the Uncertainty of the Noose as he chooses; and henceforth, if any man should claim something so Base about the Nobility selected by our Queen, let him be arrested too, and let him be dealt with likewise by the Queen's Magistrates.

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Someone begins distributing copies of this pamphlet with a woodcut of someone's butt stamped over it. 

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It seem PRUDENT that this pamphlet calling Many Pamphlets Treason receive a Measured Response, and not mere puerile replies which convince no one, except of the Replier's Manifest Immaturity.

Certainly the publishing of Extreme Slanders is an Offense Against Decency, and likely Against The Law. Even Those Wildly Unpleasant, who seek to elevate themselves ABOVE ALL OTHERS from Pure Ambition, do not deserve to be slandered with such false claims as would not even have been true of the Worst of the Diabolists. It is wrong to accuse the Duchess of Chelam of anatomically improbable acts, or of being a Thrune's daughter, both of which are CERTAINLY UNTRUE, and if you believe she has committed perfidy it behooves you to BE VERY CERTAIN OF YOUR EVIDENCE before making such a claim.

But if there BE ANOTHER NOBLE for whom these things ARE true, then IT IS A RIGHT AND A DUTY to proclaim them. Would you have our nobility remain Infested with PERFIDIOUS OATHBREAKERS, if that were discovered? Would you have Abrogail Thrune I have remained in her position, under King Gaspodar, merely because the first to discover she HAD CONGRESS WITH DEVILS was a commoner or a Vile Scribe, rather than the King Himself? NO! Not only is it NOT TREASON TO ACCUSE TRULY, it is rank cowardice and even TREASON, TO STAY SILENT, IF ONE COULD ACCUSE TRULY!

One might say, 'Did Not The Queen Choose Her Nobles?' And Perhaps; certainly many of Her nobles were indeed Chosen by Her Hand. But there are Dukes here in the Queen's Convention whose Fathers were chosen, Barons who remained beneath Her notice. And while Her Majesty is SUPREMELY PERCEPTIVE, as befits a legendary adventurer, she is NOT INFALLIBLE, nor is Anyone, not even Grand Inquisitor Shawil, who is rumored to have the Eyes of Abadar. EVEN GODS MAY BE FOOLED.

IF THE QUEEN DOES NOT KNOW, SHE MUST BE TOLD. IF IT IS TRUE, IT MUST BE SAID.

And what a commoner may not say to a noble's face, or risk saying to Her Majesty's Guard where his noble opponent may see him travel, he may Whisper To A Scribe, for Scribes Are Many and Noble Lackeys Are Few.

SPEAK PLAINLY AND LOUDLY, SO LONG AS YOU SPEAK TRUE!

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This one gets the butt treatment too, for completeness' sake. 

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