Not breaking eye contact with April, he asks, "And you know this how?"

"I was medic in Chechnya," the Slave says. "I know dead." 

"And I have thermographic camera," says the other one. He pulls it out and turns it around to show everyone present a multicolored photo. "Corpse is corpse temperature. You see Andrei's hand for contrast." 

"He's dead," the first Slave repeats. "If it's good enough for us, it's good enough for our boss, and it's good enough for you." 

"And who is your boss?" the man with the syringe asks. "Dobrev," Andrei replies. The room murmurs. 

He smiles in a deeply unnerving manner, having not broken eye contact with April the entire time. "You should have led with that Andrei," he says. "Save us all some time." He backs away and puts the knife back in his overcoat. "We're done here." 

'This could be fun' gets a slightly incredulous eyebrow, but she hasn't broken eye contact either. If the man with the knife meant to intimidate her, he has failed.

"Great!" she says brightly. "Bye now."

They all depart. In two minutes the room is empty, except for her and the funeral director. 

She looks over at him. "Hell of a story to tell all your funeral director friends, huh?"

"One of the more memorable visitations I can recall," he replies. 

"Yeah, I'll bet."

He nods and smiles slightly. "Now, Ms. Turnberry. Your uncle paid for the option of you being a witness to the cremation if you like. But after the events of today, I think you might be ready to go home." 

"Y'know, I hear what you're saying, but I actually think I do want to witness the cremation. Just to know I saw it, you know?"

He nods again and smiles. "Understandable," he says. "If you give me a moment, I'll be back with a cart and a few of my associates, so we can take the body down to the cremation chamber and put him in together. 

He leaves and returns with a few other people, one of whom has a cart. All of them are looking a bit shocked and whispering among themselves. They pick up the body, coffin and all, put it on the cart, wheel it over to a large elevator, and ride it downstairs. From there, it's a short hallway until they get to a room with a big metal machine and a sort of conveyer belt leading up to it. The machine has a closed doorway on the front of it, with warnings about heat, and a few buttons and indicator lights. With April watching, they move the body onto the conveyer belt, and then everyone leaves except for Chesterfield. "Would you like to do the honors?" he asks, pointing at a big green button.

"Sure."

She pushes the big green button.

The door slides upwards, revealing a dark and empty and chamber. The coffin is pushed by the rollers into the chamber, the door closes, and the sounds of gas fires lighting can be heard. 

"It will be a few hours before everything is done cremating," he says. "Feel free to head home now if you'd prefer, I can make arrangements for you to pick up the ashes tomorrow." 

"I'll wait. In for a penny."

He nods understandingly. "Very well. There are a few folding chairs here, please don't hesitate to come upstairs if you need anything or change your mind. I'll be back in three hours to rake out the coals." He pauses. "I can also wrap up the vase for you, if you still wish to keep it, and any of the other flower arrangements you wish to take with you to commemorate this occasion." 

"Definitely the vase. I don't need the flowers."

He smiles. "Then I will be back in a few hours." He looks for a moment like he wants to add more, but decides against it, and leaves April alone with the machine burning her uncle to ashes. 

where I come from it's polite to warn people before they have to fistfight huge dudes with knives

What happened? Are you alright? 

I'm fine, he backed down, but for a minute there it was really looking like I was going to have to go for the balls

also, 100% of the alleged mourners cleared out as soon as the one guy who went first showed everyone the images from his thermal camera proving uncle jake was actually dead

so, you know, I feel like I was a little underinformed about how this funeral was going to go

My apologies, I hadn't realized things would go like that. In his line of work he competed against some very strong personalities, but I didn't realize they would want to make sure he would be dead with a knife. I'm glad you're alright. 

there was also a guy with an empty syringe and a guy with a DNA swab

apparently my uncle jake was the single most hated man in the entire parking garage business

Your Uncle's business could be rather cutthroat. Though perhaps not usually to such an extent. Regardless it sounds like everything ended up fine despite all of that, yes? 

yep! me and uncle jake are both totally stab-free

Excellent. Then you've done what was asked of you, and more. I'll see you tomorrow about arranging the details for delivering your Uncle's bequest to you. Thank you very much for all of this, I know it must have been difficult for you. Besides just the fistfight, I mean, though that as well.