"I don't really spend a lot of time thinking about funeral homes. I... guess that could be fine? Depending what you mean by 'represent'?"

"It's nothing particularly difficult," she says. "It will be this Saturday at three. Your job will be to show up, welcome mourners and accept their condolences, and then, after the visitation, be present for the cremation. Everything's been arranged. All you have to do is be there." 

"Welcoming mourners and accepting their condolences actually sounds completely excruciating but I guess I can do it if I'm getting paid."

"They'll mostly be his business associates," Mathilda says. "Attendance will be relatively small." She pauses. "As for your compensation... 5 million dollars is how much he's left to you, along with some other assets, assuming you show up to represent him." 

"Well, I'm not about to turn down five million dollars. Does this thing have a dress code? I will absolutely show up in jeans and a nerdy T-shirt if you don't tell me a dress code."

Mathilda looks April quizzically up and down. "Do you have a nice dress you could wear that would be appropriate for a funeral?" she asks. "If not, if you let me know your size, I should be able to provide you one." 

"Clothing sizes are the work of the Devil."

"I can have someone come by later today to take your measurements if you'd prefer," Mathilda says, with an understanding smile. 

"Probably for the best. I will reluctantly trust that whatever you put together will be basically reasonable."

Mathilda nods in agreement. "Perfect," she says. "I'll call Chesterfield today and let them know to expect you, and I'll send someone by in a few hours to take your measurements. If you give me your number, I can text you all the details later," she says, pulling out her phone. "If you want to call or go by before the service to get instructions from them, that's fine; otherwise they'll get you up to speed when you arrive on Saturday. Arrive a little early." 

"Sure." She pours the tea, puts the mugs on the table, and divulges her phone number.

Mathilda takes down the phone number and sips her tea. "Thank you," she says. She nods at Pippi, who is now in the other room on the back of the couch, watching them through the banister. "Have you had her long? You've certainly done a bunch of decorating for her." 

"A while. I didn't actually want a cat, she's just very persistent. Kept letting herself into my house until I gave up and put in a cat door."

"Cats are known to do that," she says with a smile. "She seems well cared for, what with the pirate ship you have parked in the living room." She sips more tea. 

"It was thematically appropriate!"

"Oh, that makes sense, given her father and everything," Mathilda says. "Still, it's a rather large pirate ship. For a cat, that is. How did you make such a thing? I don't think you can buy something like that at PetSmart." 

"Me and a buddy of mine bought some lumber, I came up with the design, we borrowed her dad's power tools to cut the pieces to shape, and then hauled it all over here and put it together. Wasn't that hard."

"It still looks impressive," Mathilda admits, looking at what she can through the banister. "She looks like she's happy here. It's always a good sign when cats like their owners." 

"I used to make jokes about how I hadn't done anything to deserve her positive regard, but they started ringing a little hollow after I built her a pirate ship."

"I would say so! I think that's the sort of thing that deserves quite a bit of positive regard." She drinks more of her tea, smiling.

"I still maintain that pre-pirate-ship she really had no good reason to hang out with me. She spent weeks repeatedly showing up at my house and all I did was insult her and tell her she couldn't have any bacon."

"And do you give her bacon now?" 

"I looked up if it's safe and apparently it is!"

"A responsible cat owner." she says, impressed. "I think there are plenty of things Pippi can regard you positively for." 

"I mean, personally I would file 'checking if something will cause death or diarrhea before feeding it to your pet' under 'basic human decency' and/or 'desire to avoid having them shit all over your floor', but, you know, sure."