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this is what I'm doing instead of tagging my threads, apparently
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"Deal."

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"I can give you a blowjob if it makes the decision easier!" Leah says. 

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"I'll consider it," the director says.

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As she walks out with Caiden, Leah says, "I started getting mental changes. I'm required to speak grammatically correct and polite English. I can't refuse sex, and I want to have sex with strangers a lot. I have to say most of the thoughts that cross my mind. I apologize for that fact in advance. And I need to wear gothic clothes at all times, which is why I'm naked. I didn't want to stop off at the dressing room before I got you as a sex babysitter." 

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"So, what, you want me to punch people if they hit on you and you don't have sex with them?"

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"That's basically what I had in mind. I'm planning to quit the show now. I have a million dollars and a number of embarrassing problems. The chance of getting Intelligence is too high for me to be comfortable with it. I'm going to talk to and probably have sex with a financial planner. I can live comfortably off the interest on a million dollars, but I might want to touch the principal to get my replication study off the ground. I have to quit my job, because I'd sexually harass my students. I think I can tutor people who want to be tutored by a hot goth demoness."

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"I want to be tutored by a hot goth demoness!"

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"Exactly. I think there has to be a market. I can still publish papers without an institutional affiliation, I think. I might look into working for a think tank that will let me only communicate in text. Do you think I can justify text communication as a disability accommodation? The Supreme Court said that mind-controlled people count as disabled under the ADA..." 

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"I don't know about that. That's not skepticism, I literally do not know about that. I worked construction and I wound up building a deck for a producer and I fucked his wife and she got me my first acting job and ever since then it's been shirtlessness and stilited line-reading."

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"I wonder if there's a show for that. 'Billionaire or Competent Actor?'"

They arrive at the dressing room. "Okay, we should have sex and then you can help me pick out gothic clothes."

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Caiden looks indecisive. 

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"Those tights hide absolutely nothing, so I can tell you have an erection. You were fine having sex with me an hour and a half ago. I'm confused what the problem is."

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"I don't know how to tell if I'm raping you."

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"I am literally unrapeable! Proper English let me get away with that use of 'literally,' so you know it's true. Even if the creepy host has sex with me, I won't be traumatized. I would be as annoyed as I would be if I got stuck in traffic."

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"I don't want to rape you even if you don't care about it!"

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"I can't tell if this is an actual objection or a clever plan to make me think you're trustworthy so that I will pick you as my permanent Sex Babysitter and you can have sex with me whenever you want."

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"It's an actual objection!!!!!!"

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"I am feeling increasingly tempted to ignore your moral compunctions and have sex with you anyway. I am holding back because you, unlike me, can meaningfully be raped."

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"That facial expression is not making it easier to resist temptation."

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"I'm sorry! A tall naked demon lady with big tits who can beat me up is threatening to rape me into sex I want anyway, and also she's been my celebrity crush for a year and a half! This is a very hot situation!"

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"You don't have Speaking Your Mind so I don't know why you're making embarrassing personal admissions. I do have Speaking Your Mind, so I have to tell you that the phrase 'celebrity crush' is floating around my mind covered in tildes and sparkles."

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"I'm making embarrassing personal admissions because you're very imposing!"

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"I am," she says gleefully. "A Force of Nature was the best thing that ever happened to me. Wrenching myself firmly back on topic, I spent much of the past hour fantasizing about giving you a blowjob. While fetching you, I had to resist the temptation to masturbate thinking about you, and I only managed because it would get in the way of having sex with you. The expression on your face is making me want to push you to your knees and shove your face into my vulva so you can eat me out."

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Gllllgrrrgk. 

Caiden's brain has left the building. 

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