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Ari is patrolling the streets of scenic Vancouver! Well, actually he's just going to visit Peter, but he's keeping an eye out for monsters along the way. It's a nice night, monsters like ruining that kind of thing. The streets are more or less deserted, it being 2:00 AM on a Tuesday. Ari whistles cheerfully.
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dark_light
"All right. I am nearly omnipotent, there is somebody actually omnipotent over this entire world on call, and I have personally slain the Regent of God with the dagger I'm wearing, fair warning."
And now Peter may move and speak.
And now Peter may move and speak.
quite-enchanted
"I didn't mean to try to kill the little girl," is the first thing he says. "It was reflex. There was something coming for my face and I needed it not to be doing that, on account of usually when something's doing that it wants to kill me."
"Fair point," nods Sally. "That would be a very good argument for you catching her and slamming her into a wall, for instance. When exactly did you acquire soul-shredding reflexes?"
Peter opens his mouth.
Peter closes his mouth.
"I remember something being said about Go Fish."
Sally takes out a Bicycle deck and begins setting up.
"Fair point," nods Sally. "That would be a very good argument for you catching her and slamming her into a wall, for instance. When exactly did you acquire soul-shredding reflexes?"
Peter opens his mouth.
Peter closes his mouth.
"I remember something being said about Go Fish."
Sally takes out a Bicycle deck and begins setting up.
dark_light
"I can't guarantee Angela wouldn't have reacted the same way to attempting to slam Keziah into a wall, but it would have been a much wider margin of safety on the kid's wards. Heck, you might have just been caught by surprise by angelic super-strength."
bitterchill
"You're going to penalize people who have been living in a supernatural warzone for having conditioned reflexes to 'something is going for my face with unclear intentions'?" asks Ari neutrally. "That seems a bit unfair. My reflex when something is doing that is very, very similar. Would I have been supernaturally removed from action by our... benevolent... invaders?"
dark_light
"Violent reactions to thirteen-year-old angels whose involvement has been previously discussed trying to touch your face when their gook-o-meter says something nasty's going on in your brain?" says Amariah. "You might get a token apology from Angela, if you asked, but she's the sweetheart. It's a good thing Pen never startled you."
bitterchill
Ari turns to the game before he has such a reaction to Amariah.
It is a very, very tense game of Go Fish.
andomega
Meanwhile, YHWH has been doing a happy dance.
Finally, she turns to Corona. "Okay, so what do I do? Do I need to be involved in this process? Just say the word, what needs doing that an omnipotent being can do?"
Finally, she turns to Corona. "Okay, so what do I do? Do I need to be involved in this process? Just say the word, what needs doing that an omnipotent being can do?"
"Well," says Corona. "Mostly you need to not fuck with me while I make a wishcoin big enough to wipe out your horrible monster problem and then use it. This splitting headache I'm getting from your mere presence, is it something you're doing on purpose or is it just a side effect? Never mind, it's useful."
andomega
"Oh, side effect. Sorry. Or not, I guess. I didn't realize that'd happen to humans I didn't even create. I could fix it if you wanted, which you apparently don't. I could also cause you immense amounts of pain on purpose, if you want. Just say the word."
"Nah, thanks, I've got it covered," he says cheerfully. And he sits down on the floor and puts his head in his hands and reaches for the headache with his Gift and turns it up up up.
Coins pour into his coinsorter, starting at hexes and moving rapidly through stars, evils, niners - he slows down a little, then pushes harder - and when he has a handful of tenners, he stops. He waits a few seconds for the pain to subside to merely agonizing levels before he defangs his newly created coins (hex up to star up to evil up to niner, niner to defang everything at its level and below, more niners to defang the four tenners) and stands up again.
"Okay so tell me about your horrible monsters," he says. "And you can fix your headache now, I'm done playing with it and it's a little distracting."
Coins pour into his coinsorter, starting at hexes and moving rapidly through stars, evils, niners - he slows down a little, then pushes harder - and when he has a handful of tenners, he stops. He waits a few seconds for the pain to subside to merely agonizing levels before he defangs his newly created coins (hex up to star up to evil up to niner, niner to defang everything at its level and below, more niners to defang the four tenners) and stands up again.
"Okay so tell me about your horrible monsters," he says. "And you can fix your headache now, I'm done playing with it and it's a little distracting."
andomega
"So that's how that thing works," YHWH muses. (She considers lifting a coin of some denomination. At length, she decides against it. Having to cooperate with people is weird and uncomfortable.)
She fixes the headache. "Just outside the Nevernever, there's an endless sea of what the mortals call the Outsiders. They're powerful, they can pretty much ignore most magic, and looking directly at them for too long will make you go insane. I made this universe to have an obvious weak point, called the Outer Gates, so they'd focus their efforts to destroy everything there instead of just popping the universe like a bubble. Then I stationed an unbelievably massive army of faeries at the Gates and hoped they wouldn't be able to cooperate long enough to just punch through the tougher points and pour in. Which, fortunately, they aren't."
She fixes the headache. "Just outside the Nevernever, there's an endless sea of what the mortals call the Outsiders. They're powerful, they can pretty much ignore most magic, and looking directly at them for too long will make you go insane. I made this universe to have an obvious weak point, called the Outer Gates, so they'd focus their efforts to destroy everything there instead of just popping the universe like a bubble. Then I stationed an unbelievably massive army of faeries at the Gates and hoped they wouldn't be able to cooperate long enough to just punch through the tougher points and pour in. Which, fortunately, they aren't."
"Okay..." says Corona. "And Lazarus got enough of a look kind of around them that targeting shouldn't be a problem... and no matter how badly I fuck up, there's still the admin."
The Joker-link conducts a brief consultation about this course of action. Nobody can think of a good reason not to do it.
Corona wishes on a tenner.
There are no more Outsiders.
"Poof."
The Joker-link conducts a brief consultation about this course of action. Nobody can think of a good reason not to do it.
Corona wishes on a tenner.
There are no more Outsiders.
"Poof."
andomega
"That's it. They're just- gone. Everything I had bound up in, in maintenance, it's all back."
She starts chuckling, and it grows and grows until it's a full-blown cackle. At its peak, she vanishes with a crack of thunder.
Corona relays this to the link, who in turn relay it to their respective audiences.
He waits a few seconds to see if she's going to come back and say anything else.
He waits a few seconds to see if she's going to come back and say anything else.
dark_light
"Hey, new world residents, what's your opinion on the general benevolence and trustworthiness of Headache Entity?"
jovahs_heiress
[I'm concerned about what she is possibly doing with the spare attention and power,] Angela puts in. [As excuses for being a god over an Earth in Sunshine-level condition go, "distracted by monsters" is close to acceptable, but it doesn't guarantee we'll approve the new direction.]
Corona bounces the question about coins to the link to be reported on, and asks out loud, "What for?"
jovahs_heiress
[I'm likewise concerned about what she'd do with coins, although I suppose it's encouraging that she hasn't stolen any.]
bitterchill
"How the hell should I know? Apparently she's God, so you can make of that what you will."
Corona bounces that too. "Seems like a good reason to me, but I'm asking my friends for advice first."
jovahs_heiress
[She didn't specify a denomination, but it's possible she could figure out minting in general with nothing more than a triangle, and obviously minting has capacities she didn't previously possess. What does she want?]
"They're kind of worried about what you're gonna get up to with all your horrible monsters gone," he adds, "but I'm getting the sense it won't be anything too bad."
andomega
Well, currently I'm in Acapulco having a drink and celebrating, you know, everything. Once that's done I'm probably going to go around eradicating all of the evil that accumulated while I was out. And putting Anduriel in an oubliette full of fire and filling his blood with ants and- doing things to Anduriel. He's a dick.