He's standing in an empty street. Signs are in English and French, not Japanese; the pavement is different; also, a large blonde man just fell out of thin air, swearing in what mostly sounds like English. Briefly, a portal stands three feet above the ground behind him, revealing a wintry landscape covered in gnarled trees, but it swirls shut in short order.

"Fuck," the blonde concludes.

...he can speak English. Mostly. Enough to say "What?" in that language, at any rate.

He looks up. "Oh! Human. I guess that, uh, follows. Um." He waves halfheartedly. "You're dreaming?"

It's not the worst explanation he could have given, frankly. It'd explain why he's naked.

"—I'm... not?"

He has definitely noticed the nakedness, and—the man presumably did not mean to be naked in a street after falling out of a portal so he tries real hard not to ogle too much.

(That is a lie but he can look while pretending not to look, that'll give him magic, too. Magic and bonus hot naked dude.)

"Yeah, that wasn't going to work." He sighs and looks around. "I... hm. Do you know where we are?"

He looks at the signs. "...Canada? Again: what?"

The man shrugs eloquently. "I just fell through a Way from the Nevernever and landed here. I'm a sorcerer, which is like a wizard who doesn't have a license. I've never actually met another human before, I don't have a ton of context for how much of this is new, what exactly is the what, here?"

"I don't know what a 'Way' or 'the Nevernever' are, as far as I knew there was only one type of magic and 'wizardry' was not it, I was in Japan on my way to a date not two minutes ago before I suddenly found myself here, and you emerged naked from a portal in the middle of a random street. That is the what," he says archly.

"Huh."

The man considers.

"You're actually more lost than I am. That's kind of impressive. ...Sorry about your date. And the nudity."

"Unless you're saying it's your fault I'm here instead of where I was I don't think you should apologise about the date. The nudity is more plausibly your fault, but I'm not going to complain about it." He steals a glance at more of the nudity then grabs his phone and looks at it instead, which makes him frown. "And I have no signal. Drat." He looks up at naked again. "I'm Kaede. Modulo circumstances, it's nice to meet you. So how lost are you?"

"I'm Ari! It's also nice to meet you! And, um, I'm lost enough that I only circumstantially know that Canada is a place? I was raised in the Nevernever, it's a parallel plane of existence. I know some stuff about this world. Like, they use money? And the geography stays the same instead of shifting around constantly, which seems kind of boring honestly but probably safer than the alternative. And there are way fewer angry goblins who want to kill me, which is why I'm currently here."

"And do you have more of an idea how you happened to be here than I do?"

"Yep! I was being hunted by goblins and I found a Way. Uh, a portal. My options were 'go to the mortal realm' or 'probably get eaten,' so I jumped through and closed the door behind me. Not really sure where I go from here, full disclosure, but I think I'm coming out ahead as long as I get through the next couple of days with a minimum of dying."

"...okay. Why were you being chased by goblins and why were you doing so naked?—and aren't you cold?"

(Kaede is so appreciative of the nudity, Ari has no idea.)

"Goblins don't need a hell of a lot of incentive to chase tasty-looking humans. I don't tend to wear clothes, faeries don't care so much about that kind of thing. Aaaaand no, no I am not. I don't get cold. Magic." He twists to point out an intricate tattoo on his shoulderblade.

(He looks like he might have an idea! Or some idea, at least. Or maybe he's just a very happy person.)

Eyebrow raise. "While I think the world is made brighter by the sight of you unclothed, human society frowns upon public nudity. It's a crime most places, even, although maybe not in Canada where it's merely usually too cold for anyone to want to be naked. So maybe the first order of business is trying to find you clothes so that I don't have to leave you standing alone in a back alley somewhere."

"Oh, yeah, I did know that, I just thought we were getting on fine without them. Um, clothes... failing all else I can conjure some, they'll dissolve at sunrise but that's probably long enough to find clothes more conventionally. It'll take me like fifteen minutes, though. Any ideas from the extradimensional corner? You said you've got some kind of magic where you're from too; does that include pants generation?"

"I think we're getting on perfectly fine without them and if you wish to do away with them once we're in a place we're less likely to shock poor old ladies I am fully supportive of your decision but we should in fact find such a place. And no, the kind of magic where I'm from doesn't really do conjuration, but an alternative suggestion would be me finding some to purchase. I don't know my way around nor what time it is and I definitely don't have Canadian dollars on me, though, so your method is probably better."

"Alright, then. The magic's going to be kind of boring, sorry."

He peers thoughtfully at the asphalt, then bends down and pulls off a decently sized chunk next to the curb. "Where should we go so I can draw a circle, d'you think? Sidewalk, alleyway, rooftop?"

"—that was hot, how the heck did you do that," he wonders. "Er, rooftop I think."

"Earth magic! I can do a lot of stuff with rocks. For example, this particular rock has always dreamed of being a piece of chalk, and I am going to make that happen."

He sizes up a nearby wall. "Does your magic do wall-climbing, or do you need a boost?"

"I could plausibly use it for wall-climbing but I'm not going to refuse the boost."

"Can't argue with that," Ari says cheerfully. He gestures at Kaede and incants "Federleicht," and there's a faint lurch as gravity gets a little bit less. Then Ari sweeps him off his feet into a bridal carry, bends his knees, grunts "Bergsprung," and leaps onto a nearby fire escape. He jumps twice more between opposite fire escapes (surprisingly quiet, for a grown man power-jumping off a rusty metal platform carrying another grown man) before landing on a concrete rooftop.

He gently sets Kaede on his feet. "Boost!"

That was really really hot. Kaede maybe clung a little too his neck while being carried.

"Your magic system is way flashier than mine," he comments. "Mine's all about subtle changes. Is there a cost to doing magic?"

"Oh, yeah, it's really draining and it can really mess you up if you mess it up, gives you aneurysms and whatnot. And it breaks modern technology, whatever 'modern' is nowadays. And, uh, don't use it to kill humans or mess with people's brains or resurrect the dead or other miscellaneous shady shit, it'll fuck with your head. But otherwise it's a pretty sweet deal!"