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kobold and post-Angband Maedhros
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...I think it might be better for me to go for a while. Will you be okay?

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And she's gone, doesn't even stand up first, just teleports to the new Ñolofinwëan site as is. She sits there, shaken, for a few moments, and then stands and looks around, still a little dazed.

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They are at work singing and building.

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She finds a quiet corner and reaches out for Findekáno. I'm here - location - and I could really use a hug if you're not busy.

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He finds her a minute later. Hey. Hug.

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Hey. She curls into him, tense and withdrawn.

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He starts singing.

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She relaxes, slowly. Thank you.

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Of course.

 

It should have occurred to me that having two deeply traumatized people whose needs include 'be doing right by everyone I interact with' living alone together was a recipe to hurt you both.

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She blinks, then snorts. Quit spying on us.

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I know Maitimo pretty well, it's been a really long time. I can't actually think of a crueler way to hurt him than to rip out his ability to deal with people without touching his sense of duty to them.

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Sigh. Yeah. That wasn't exactly the problem, I didn't want their help with the thing they were trying to help with, but - yeah.

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If we kill the Enemy then he'll have lots of time to heal and he'll piece it together. It's only been, what, three weeks? No one expected him to be back to normal after three weeks, he still can barely move - and he doesn't have any of us to lean on -

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Nod. They're getting a little more willing to, kind of. There's a thing I'm supposed to ask you about that I'm really surprised they're letting me. - not right now.

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Course. Is this a good environment for you? Do you need to move out sooner?

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Sigh. That's hard to think about right now. I hurt them more than they hurt me, just now.

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Hugs. 

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Hugs. Trembling, a little bit. Accident. Something I thought might be a little awkward at most to talk about turned out to be harder than that. They'll... be okay, I think, but needed me to go for a while.

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Not your fault. Going to happen sometimes, with someone who has lots of scary things in their head.

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Yeah. But I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong, so I can avoid it next time, not a lot of space left over.

I think you're right that most of it was them trying to do right by me and not having a good way to. Not sure how to avoid that problem.

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When you raise things with him, can you say "I'm telling you this because I need someone to know it besides me" or "I'm telling you this because I want suggestions" or "I'm telling you this because I think you'd prefer to know"?

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Did that. 'I'm telling you this because I think you'll notice anyway and if it's a surprise it won't be a good one.' Didn't, uh, work. And pointing out that there was a solution that would make it not come up at all didn't either, I think they noticed that the solution was also not perfect.

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Okay. Then you're probably doing the thing that will minimize the problem and minimal just isn't always enough. Hugs. 

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Yeah. Hugs.

 

They really just aren't okay with people doing things for them, huh? Like, taking care of them. That was part of it, with this. And I'm starting to really worry about them going back with their siblings - they say they're going to tell them what they need, but... not sure how much I should be trusting that.

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