(To my cousin who has obtained my little Pamphlet, I recommend you read it Alowd before unlettered cousins, for Merriment, and before young Children afeared of tallfolk, for Reassurance.)
Those large, ungainly beasts that lumber around, the odious TALL PIG, are rightly accurst and feard by we small folk, for many are the times when this Livestock blunder out of its pen and make of itself a great nuisance. You may wonder why the Gods put such a useless blundering creature in the World, but I have learned the sole useful Qualitys of the TALL PIG to be Good Taste and Good Nutrition, and I humbly hope to teach you and yours how to rid yourselfs of a Nuisance and put a Solid Hearty Meal in your Bellys.
The TALL PIG is like the Boar, in that to hunt and bring one down it is best to hunt with a few stout fellows, and circle and confuse it while it lumber about in confusion. If four or five fall on it with Clubs or good sharp Knives it will come down after awhile, and after its possessions are stripped, two or three may carry the Carcass home to butcher.
Now the organ-meat of the TALL PIG is oft wretched, the heart thin, the liver poisoned and shrivelld, and of the kidneys, little can be said that I would wish to put to paper. Of the true meats the choicest cut is the Belly, or would be were the TALL PIG not wasteful and indolent, ruining the Belly with fat and gristle. Nonetheless the fat may be rendered and put to good use in the Household. The Rump and Back are tough but suited for Stewing, and the Limbs have good meat for Smoking and making a good hearty Jerky.
To make a good Stew to feed your household, the bones of the TALL PIG will make a fine stock, adding a bit of fat, and stewing the tougher cuts, adding what Vegetable scraps you want to put to use, from Noon to Dinnertime. When you sit down and have a bowl of fine TALL PIG stew, your household will laugh merrily and wonder why it ever cursed such a delicious Beast!