"Uh I would hex him nastily but without eroding general societal expectations about whether people need fear that at random!"

"Please do not nastily hex my husband."

"He found you in his bathroom with chemical burns and then you 'had a bad night'."

"It was a really small chemical burn."

"Rebecca has heartbreakingly low standards too and I don't think I ever managed to fail to live up to them."

"Huh?"

"Uh in her case it's because of sexism? And in Beka's case it's because of Angband. But all of you seem to come with heartbreakingly low standards and it's really really upsetting that he couldn't even - you should have been totally unconditionally safe with him from the very beginning, no matter what -"

"He got over it please do not hex him."

"Fine. But he deserves it." He scowls and flips through the books.

"Does not!"

"Nah he really does. I bet he'd even agree."

"He was fine after a really short time."

"Well you can tell him I am very disappointed in him. Ah hah found something. What color do you want it - head hair or everywhere -"

"I am not going to tell him that. White everywhere, Ana too when I bring her - Elemi's is really green."

And he frowns and practices a wand movement a few times and then does it in her direction. "There you go, all set."

"Thank you!"

She goes and collects Ana and brings her by.

Ana can also have naturally-occurring white hair.

"Do you know if it'll be hereditary from here -"

"I don't think wizards understand anything about heredity, let alone alien hair color heredity. Sorry."

"...oh well. Okay."

"People will murder their children if they come out red?"

"I mean probably not but that's why Katin's dating ex-red, he won't be surprised..."

Sigh. "I mean, you could have a wizard midwife and tap the baby at birth."

"Now that there are wizards, sure."

" - well, yeah, I can't go back in time and erase the entire concept from everyone's stupid heads."