"Taharqi I knew you were a hypocrite but this is completely new levels."

"I am not a—" He cuts himself off and tries to think about what he'd say if someone else tried to prevent him from having a new near-death experience after he'd just had one. "...okay, fine, I'd just rather people I like not get seriously hurt."

"Ah huh. Unless it makes them come."

"Would that even count as 'seriously hurt'?"

"With that amount of electricity? Yes."

"Oh, come on, serious isn't objective. You might as well say I'd be poisoning myself by eating a head of garlic because it'd kill a dog."

"Fine, fine, I suppose you are looking a lot more hale and healthy than—you should be."

"Always."

"Alright, then, the Ar—" He is interrupted by his stomach growling, cartoon-style. "...okay I do need to eat, myself, actually. Is this conversation confidential or can we go somewhere to grab a bite?"

"Not confidential. ...probably don't mention the billion zeny thing. But the Art isn't a secret I need to keep."

"I will refrain from mentioning it." It's more like seven billion zeny, actually, but he won't mention that either. "Alright, hyup," he says, hopping off the bed and looking around for the pieces of his clothes.

Taharqi will do the same, then.

And Arik won't!

(He will find a decent washcloth, though. Going around nude is one thing, but fluids are not really to be borne.)

Vallynn looks over his shoulder at him. Then he looks around the room. Then he looks at Arik again. "Do you want to get washed up? I've got a laundry slash shower spell in the works but it's not yet safe for humans."

"—wait, seriously?"

"Yep! My party will be the least stinky adventuring party in the world."

"Oh, yes please. I assume if it flays me it won't be in a way that results in more mess?"

"—no, I meant showing you the washroom, my spell is actually not in fact at all safe. It might or might not evaporate all of the blood in your veins and I don't think your necklace is rated for that."

"Wait could that be used offensively?"

"Presumably but like all spells it needs to pierce through magic defence when resisted and it has zero defence-piercing mechanisms since it has not been designed for that."

"Ah. And it's one of those that would fall apart completely if I did resist enough to keep it out of my orifices? Sad."

"It might not but I want to refine it and test it further on things that do not have blood before I move on to live human experimentation. And in the meantime: washroom?"

"Yes, quite, lead the way."

Vallynn doesn't put his actual robes on, because honestly he can't be bothered, nor his gloves, and his boots trail after him telekinetically, so he's only in his trousers.

"How'd you get in anyway?" he asks, after unlocking and opening his door.

"If you want to keep a rogue out of your room you are going to need something better than a lock."