"Neat," he says. "I think trying to use your magic system would make me want to set things on fire, but Iri might like it."

"Conveniently, my magic system has many options for setting things on fire!"

Giggle.

"Or ice! Or lightning! Or acid!"

"Fun!"

"There's also magic weapons that do those things, if you want the nifty special effects without trying to wrestle with the actual magic system."

"Ooh, that sounds like something I'd like to play with."

"Yeah. ...In the interest of trying to maintain a Good alignment, if I show you where to find, like, acid daggers, your victims aren't going to regret it, are they?"

"Trying to what?"

"Metaphysical moral higglety-pigglety."

"...?"

"...Okay, so there's these two moral axes, Good Neutral Evil and Lawful Neutral Chaotic. Some magic stuff interacts with where on the alignment chart you fall."

"...Have I mentioned I think your magic system is kind of stupid sometimes?"

"You have!"

"Well this is another one of those times. So there are actual magical consequences if you give me fun toys and I use them on my swans? Despite the fact that I have been doing this for thousands of years and it's not like new toys are going to make it worse?"

"Swans? Anyway, I didn't say if you use them on them, I said if they regret it."

"Oh, they turn into swans when the sun's up because I designed their immortality really badly and it burns out their minds after a while and the transformation slows it down. Having fun new toys is not going to make me any more terrifying than I already am."

"And you say my magic system has issues."

"It's not the system's fault, it's mine! If I'd known what I was doing I wouldn't have this problem!"

"Okay, fair."

"I don't mind so much when my problems are my own fault, because then at least I can learn from my mistakes."

"Anyway it's not just the magic system, I also risk your fellow Technical Imperial being disappointed in me if I meaningfully enable your torture habits."

"My torture habits were going along just fine without you."

"I was just checking!"

"Reasonable enough."