"That's coming across, ah, as a very alarming verb?"

"A very lovely little cleric spell that gets you sent to an Evil afterlife regardless of your alignment."

"Without your God agreeing to it?"

"...without a trial...? I don't know what your god would have to do with it."

"A god claiming you is how you get into an afterlife."

"So people say."

"People say that because it's true."

"Kelemvor does organise it,  but it's much more like--" he makes a circular motion with his hands, "--executing an estate than a criminal trial."

"Well, I don't know anything about the process. I assume they don't have an actual trial with lawyers and a judge. But there are nine afterlife planes and you go to the one associated with your alignment, right? And then maybe you go into a part of the afterlife associated with your god, like Aroden's city in Axis or Xovaikon if you're a Kushite or the Summerlands if you worship Erastil."

"Its the other way around for us! Your god is the determinating factor. Also, we have 18 planes. Nine seems so much more reasonable."

"I'm glad at least we don't have malediction. The sheer number of soul coins that would create--"

"There are worse things than rampant inflation in the Hells. --I kid, I kid."

"Eighteen planes? That's pretty worrying, actually!"

"There's twice as much good to go with twice the evil."

"No, I mean--  I like being alive, but I'm not too broken up about dying? I'm an adventurer and I'm pretty old, half my friends are dead already. I'm going to go to the Maelstrom-- the Chaotic Neutral afterlife-- and see everyone I hadn't seen in years and join the fight against the Abyss. Or-- I thought I was going to."

"Convince all your friends to follow the same god, then. Or see if Kelemvor is feeling merciful." He is having a floor he'd relied on pulled out from under him, that sickening lurch of realising he has something he has already lost. She should approve of it.

She should. 

"Convincing people isn't any good if I die on a planet that feeds into an entirely different set of afterlives! My friends are already in the Maelstrom and if I die here, then--"

"All the more reason not to die, then."

Sympathetic shoulder pat?

Very quietly: "...is there a god whose afterlife involves living in the primordial quintessence, the stuff of creation from which all planes and souls were formed?"

"Ao? Though he is... fairly disinterested in mortal worship."

"There's not a singular god of creation." Unfortunately.

"...actually can we compare lists of planes? Hell is Lawful Evil and run by Asmodeus. Xovaikain is Zon-Kuthon's afterlife that Kuthites go to, also Lawful Evil. The Abyss is Chaotic Evil and a war of all against all. Abaddon is Neutral Evil, it destroys souls, hope to go there if you're Evil so you stop existing."

"Hell is also Lawful evil and run by Asmodeus. Constantly at war with the Abyss, the plane of Chaotic evil. And in between those planes is Gehenna, Hades, and Carceri."