"Astarion you have many wonderful qualities but 'won't steal the githyanki relic and sell it to the highest bidder' is not one of them."

"I hate being described accurately," he jokes. 

"Seriously, though-- in order to have any chance of not turning into mindflayers, we need to work together. You can't be trying to kill each other or we're all going to die. If either of you pulls any shit, the other one is definitely going to get the relic, because I'll have sliced open your throat and left you bleeding by the side of the road. Am I understood."

Lae'zel and Shadowheart share a look that seems to be calculating the likelihood of them being able to take on both their rival and Cayden at once,  but they both seem to decide that they can't.

"Understood."

"Good." He sits. "I have a bottle of excellent Elvish whiskey that is literally impossible to otherwise obtain on this planet, which I am happy to share with anyone who didn't attempt to kill a party member in the last 24 hours."

"... how are we defining that?"

"Gale!"

"I wouldn't say no to a good tipple. Wouldn't say no to waiting another day to share with more people, but it's your whiskey."

"I get to drink. Astarion gets to drink because it was a misunderstanding and we weren't party members then. Gale... maybe gets to drink...? I did not observe you trying to kill anyone."

"Blackstaff's honour,  I have attempted no murders today."

"He's right, annoyingly."

"Good. Drinks for Gale and Astarion." He drinks a swig, passes it to Gale, and then contemplates the food.

The party collectively has a semi random assortment of fruit, vegetables and cured meats. 

Gale takes a swig. "It seems elves across all planets make good liquor." He hands it to Astarion.

"Of course we do." And back to Cayden.

And Cayden puts it away because he has learned a valuable lesson about hangovers. 

Is the food... tolerable?

It's nothing special, but it's definitely edible.

Cayden has a small jar of mixed herbs and spices which he'll also pass around. 

He was already dead facto leader of the party, but he has now cemented his hold over them all. With spices. 

It is honestly disturbing there's no one better suited for it.

All right, conversation. How does the story of the time Cayden got blacklisted from the Duchy of Westcrown go over? It's a great story and he can do a great impression of the asshole who hired him. 

The general plot of the story: Cayden was hired to find and return the Duke of Westcrown's concubine. After a series of shenanigans, he discovers the girl had been consensually kidnapped by a powerful wizard who was her childhood best friend. Cayden managed to get her out by the skin of his teeth (at one point he bluffed that he could parry symbol of pain). It turned out that the Duke was beating and raping his wife and all his concubines, and Cayden just felt awfuller and awfuller about returning her. He was invited to the banquet to celebrate her return, at which point he got extremely drunk, stole the Duke of Westcrown's Bag of Holding, stabbed him, and fled with the wife and all the concubines crammed into the Bag of Holding and holding their breaths.

The original kidnapee's a wizard now. They get dinner together when he's in town.

The story goes down very well! Lae'zel and Gale are particularly impressed, and Astarion has a faint air of plotting.

Can he smile charmingly until someone else provides an adventuring anecdote or is maintaining the morale of this party entirely on him?

Gale has a fun anecdote from his Misspent Youth. To whit: he once tried to use the famous Blackstaff to teleport to his dormitory, accidentally went to Limbo and got attacked by a death slaad and had to get rescued. He was a first year at the time.