native Fëanorian Amentans
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"Hey Katin?"

"Yeah Mama?"

"There's something I need to tell you and it's a secret. Papa knows, and Apef knows, and if you ever meet my parents and my little brother, they know too. Telkam knows. Nobody else - Aitim knows but we are helping him pretend not to."

"...um, okay..."

"It's not just embarrassing or something, it's dangerous. If you told Sasa or a teacher or Papa's grandparents or anybody like that it would be very easy for us all to get hurt."

Katin frowns. "Did you kill somebody."

"...no."

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He hugs Peka. 

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"'Cause if you killed somebody I bet they deserved it."

"I didn't kill anybody, not even when I was in the army."

"And I wouldn't tell."

"I didn't kill anyone, Katin."

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"Your mom didn't do anything wrong. But people would think she did."

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"You remember how we came to Anitam."

"I don't remember remember it I was tiny. I know the story, you were in the Tapai army trying to keep up with payments for my credit and you met Telkam who was pretending grey there and he told you to take me and ditch them and come live in his place."

"And that's true. But the army isn't all greys. They also need reds."

 

Katin is silent.

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"Telkam thinks if people don't like their caste they should change it. So when he heard they were not going to make the payments he said your mom should pretend grey like him and come to Anitam."

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"But that means I'm -"

"Your biological father really was an orange."

"That doesn't count even here if the mom is red -"

"I know. But you have to know so you won't be surprised if we have kids and have to dye their hair - or if you do."

Katin is trembling.

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"Are you okay? I was sad and mad when I found out, it's okay to be sad and mad."

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"When did she tell you - when did - she used to - I hold people's babies -"

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"Do you remember the big snowstorm? She didn't have her dye and tried to use bleach from the cleaning closet and burned her hand."

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"...yeah. I dug tunnels. I don't remember about her hand or you being mad -"

"You slept through it."

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"I was mad and took a really long shower and thought about punching Telkam except it'd be a bad idea because he knows more about punching. And then I decided your mom isn't disgusting so maybe everyone was just making a big stupid mistake."

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"Do I have to do the thing that makes you radioactive -"

"...if they get it pared down to something less terrible and long it might be a good idea to do it in secret so we can prove we had it done if anybody who shouldn't know finds out," says Peka. "But right now we're just being secretive about it."

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"I'm orange I like being orange."

"Then be orange. You're not hurting anyone, it's all made up. I'm glad you like being orange."

"- do you like being grey -"

"I might've tried green, if I could've. But I had to fit with the army story."

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"My father's got no claim to green but he's green because he said so and was so good at it no one really cared. You're a good orange."

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"I'm going to go take a shower," Katin says quietly.

"...It doesn't help."

"I'm going to try it anyway." She leaves.

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"Coulda gone worse," says Peka, leaning on him.

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"Yeah." Hug. "Maybe by the time the other kids are old enough to worry about it we can - the cleaning thing -"

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"Yeah. I just don't want - a huge dose of teratogens and mutant children - what are they doing about that with the one who's getting set up with your cousin -"

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"They haven't got the money for the whole batch yet I'm not sure what the plan is -"

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Nod.

"I think Katin'll get over it. In time for next spring."

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"I think so too." Squeeze. "I love you. I'm sorry it's complicated at all."

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"I love you, I love you so much, I'm so glad you're here for me."

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