His hair is green. 

It shouldn't be; this is obvious to him from a very young age. If he had a personality more suited to resentment he might resent his father for the impetuous gamble that now throws his own birthright into question. He has a personality not at all suited to resentment; he adores everyone, and he charms everyone, and he sees right through everyone, and he can tell that his father could not have breathed another day as a blue.

He can tell also that it pains his father when he charms his grandfather and then through his grandfather his uncle and when he wiggles his way into living with them, but he needs the connections. If only his hair had come out his grandfather's blue then he could live with green parents. But it's green and so for every other cue he needs people to see blue. 

He starts dyeing it. Not blue, that'd be provocative and worse than that embarrassingly childish, the conduct of someone too immature to merit his standing in its own right. Details matter and he knows how these details matter. He dyes it teal. He does it in stages, each transition so gradual that no one notices until they're looking at old family pictures. He photoshops all the old family pictures. His grandfather says affectionately that, uh, he is after all blue by law, isn't he, it wouldn't do for Afen's children to waver back and forth but as long as they pick one and live up to it -

He picks blue, blue, blue. Anitam has a ruling council of five governors and Aitim and his boyfriend and a classmate he's closely cultivating will be a voting majority someday and he changes the shade of teal just a bit, nothing that you couldn't attribute in old photographs to lighting - there's nothing objectionable about dyeing your hair if it's wrong but it's better for it to feel destined - Kan's hair is a deep blue of its own accord, and he wears it long, shimmery and distinctive. Nothing about Aitim's presentation is effortless like that but it looks more effortless than a genuine lack of effort could ever accomplish. 

His mother raises an eyebrow worriedly when she sees him and he beams at her and he's blue, blue, blue.

He's green. It's as natural as breathing. He's green and his MyStream channel has millions of viewers by the time he's two and a half and he fears briefly that puberty will wreck his voice and it does no such thing and his top single sells half a billion copies. His younger brother's four and his parents are unhappy with their empty nest, but even three child credits stretch the budget of tenured professors who also find their salary being drawn on by the lab they run, whenever new equipment's needed. 

He gifts them half his proceeds. It's an outlandish amount of money. "Have more children," he says, and they look at each other and giggle, because of course he was thoughtful enough to release the songs towards the end of winter, and give the present at the beginning of springtime.

He's miserable. 

It's fine for Aitim to notice he was born into the wrong caste and maneuver his way to where he belongs, because firstly Aitim knew how to do that kind of thing and secondly he wanted something he sort of had a claim to. Telkam wants to be grey, when he's little, and when he's older he wants to release a bioengineered plague and wipe out ninety-nine percent of everyone and then build a casteless utopia in the ashes. 

This seems like an unhealthy thing to want so he doesn't mention it. 

He's an actor. He does his own stunts. The movies can be post-apocalyptic, that's trendy right now anyway, it doesn't imply endorsement. 

This one has an order of postapocalyptic martial artists. Since he won't take a stunt double this guy, hair a steely fuzz over his skull, is supposed to give him lessons. (Also they will be having three fight scenes together.)

That sounds fantastic. 

"Wish I was grey," he says after a sparring session. "My brother when he's not conserving his political capital for fights over train stations likes to say that maybe there could be purchasable credits and a process to change, for people who're just obviously misplaced. But it'll never catch on."

"You're getting paid four times what I am. For making facial expressions. Not that I wouldn't pay money to stare at your face, because damn, but still."

You have all the guns, he nearly says. You could just get fed up and change it. 

He does not say that. 

"So probably if there were a way to buy yourself out there'd be lots of purples and oranges and greys vying to be green and not much the other way round, yeah. I'd still go for it."

"You'd be good at it. I can still kick your ass though." Smirk.

"I noticed. 's just the extra practice."

"Surrrre it is. You could beat my cousin, she just plays ball, barely knows the forms..."

Snort. "I don't want to beat your cousin. I want to win fights that aren't scripted, but - picking an easy opponent's still scripting -"

"I think greens're allowed to have hobbies, you don't all have to be singleminded nerds. I do a mixed caste class when I'm not doing choreographed shit like this."

"I might show up. Did archery once. It was very very satisfying. Parents stopped paying for it because I was failing all my classes."

"Green school sounds like the most stultifying thing of all time. Paint all morning and do math all afternoon and never get enough sun to not look like a sheet of paper."

"You got it. - well, lotsa literature too. If we don't have an opinion about all of the major authors of the last five centuries how will we make faces at the camera."

His martial arts tutor laughs. "Are you drawing on the, the fucking, what's the word, are you drawing on the canon in the part where you tell me you're gonna kill me in revenge for your mother?"

"There are all these great works in which people say that! If I hadn't written six-paragraph essays on them all how could my revenge be a meaningful reinterpretation and commentary and - I know objectively boring classes aren't the end of the world it's that - I hate things and people that pretend to matter when they don't."

"Well, this is the kinda movie where people show up and they say 'yeah forget about the facial expressions did you see that sick backflip', so if you did terribly in school it's okay, nobody cares, just do the sick backflip and stop dragging your heels when you're gonna hit me with a stick."

"Gotcha."

They spar. He gets better about not dragging his heels. "Plans tonight?"

"Hot springs. Why, you wanna come ogle me?"

"I might."

"You wanna meet me there or keep your wig on, take my bus?"

" - that. I don't think people'd recognize me."

"Do you even have prior credits in anything that got more play than Moon Invaders III, nah, you're fine. Slip it off in the locker room."

"MechaBlasters but I was a robot the whole time. Makel's the one people recognize on the street. I'll do that.'

"The singer? Yeah, he couldn't get away with it."

When Telkam is bewigged they can catch a grey bus. It's not strictly caste-exclusive - there's two purples and a yellow along for the ride - but it's a line that goes through grey neighborhoods and to grey workplaces.

He'd at a minimum attract attention, and now he doesn't. It's very satisfying. 

He stares longingly out the window at the neighborhoods even though they're objectively less nice.

Well, not strictly; they have bigger yards and bigger parks, sacrificing some house space for room for the kids and even the adults to run around.

"I live two blocks down from that stop but the springs are another three past it," says Ialtem, pointing.

"The yards are nice." Sigh. 

"My grandmother lives with my parents, did the whole time I was growing up, and turned half of ours into a garden, I had to play in the neighbor kids' yards lest I squash her vegetables."

"You poor thing."

"Eh, at least nobody made me do math after I could count and figure out money."

" I think actual greens actually enjoy it. But then somehow there's me."

"You're a fake?" snorts Ialtem, elbowing him.

"I did ask my mother once if there was any chance - she made such a face at me -"

He laughs. "I've got a purple great-grandma but I can't say I've ever felt a calling to be a barista."

"My dad's actually blue. Ran away from home as a teenager, showed up at a university across the country with honestly a really thin lie, invented - well, bunch of stuff, half of cryptography's his work - and then when they figured it out he was just like 'I dare you to make a thing of it'. His mother's green, though, so it's not like it came out of nowhere."

"You don't think you'd rather be blue? Could make the case."

"One of my brothers did. I'd be even worse at blue than green - green there're a couple ways you can flex it, blue there's really not - and I can't stand any of them anyway - Aitim's okay but all his friends -"

"I dunno that I've ever met a blue, up close, are they awful -"

"Not really, I'm not being very fair. But they're - the only people they actually have to convince is other blues, you know, talking to everyone else is just performance. Very likable performance, in some cases, but -"

"Just, I'm So-and-so Neli and I have so much respect for the greys of Aleta City, who I am told can throw things and hit stuff, vote for me?"

"Aitim would make a pont of looking up in advance who'd been having a very good throwing-things and hitting-stuff season and drop a reference." Sigh. "I might just have problems with authority."

"Don't make it sound like it's your problem," snorts Ialtem. "This's our stop."

"Authority might just be unworthy of my good regard." Off they get. 

The hot springs are pleasant to soak in, stark naked, after a long day of hitting each other with sticks. The water is clear enough to be unobstructive to ogling.

He might do some ogling. People who can beat him up are a thing.

He is ogled right back.

"So do greens fuck on first dates or would that be declassé."

"Are you under the impression I would care. - it's allowed, really, but if it weren't that'd be more reason. You said your place is four blocks?"

"It was the last pickup line left in the store last I went shopping, sue me. Four bus stops, it's a nice run."

"Bet I can keep up."

"Try it."

And Ialtem takes off.

He can maybe not quite keep up. It's not fair. He resolves to practice. 

Ialtem catches him by the wrist at the door and pins him to the wall of the apartment building and kisses him and then smirks and shows him in. He is on the sixth floor and spends the entire elevator ride doing suggestive things with his eyebrows.

Telkam might be in love.

Ialtem lives in a studio apartment with a balcony and a not-really-a-bed flat on the floor in the corner and no visible books and a set of weights on the wall and a small sleeping dog. Telkam is unerringly directed at the not-really-a-bed.

He might get briefly distracted by the dog. Not for very long though.

The dog is very asleep. If Telkam is the snuggling type and sticks around, the dog may plod over to them and snuggle too.

- can he read his maybe-boyfriend on sticking around, he doesn't want to push it.

Ialtem doesn't seem inclined to kick him out, nor prevent the dog from plopping its chin on Telkam's leg, making it officially against international law to move at all.

Then he'll stay. Quite happily.

He wakes up with Ialtem's arm flung over his head and the dog having drooled an entire puddle onto his leg and birds singing outside the balcony.

And he wishes very dearly he were grey. 

Well. If no one makes a thing out of it, he can just kind of stay as long as Ialtem's interested, can't he.

And he can be so interesting!

Ialtem is not hard to interest! He makes eggs and bacon for breakfast and wants to have sex again and generally does not at all kick Telkam out. They do have to show up at work and hit each other with sticks, which is of course enormous fun.

His favorite part.

Two weeks in he asks the question he didn't ask the day they met. "Greys have all the guns. Why doesn't somebody just - get tired of getting a tenth of the pay and taking orders from people who can barely manage bland congratulations on your presumed talent at hitting stuff and throwing things -"

"...'cause if somebody started shooting up random folks they'd get arrested? The cops are more 'law and order' than, I don't know, 'caste solidarity'. Fuck, why don't the purples starve us or the yellows let everybody's internet fall apart?"

"Cause people'd shoot them. I don't - things are pretty much okay, for most people, but they could get so so bad and everyone'd still be all neatly divided so as to be made to play along."

"There'd still be cops even if we did some fantasy integration thing, they'd just be weirdly colorful."

"Yeah. That's not really what I want. - what I want is 'no government' and that probably just doesn't actually work."

"Dunno if it's been tried."

"I could maybe even spin trying as a green sort of thing to do." He makes a face. "Won't, but could. Wonder if I could dye my hair white and join the army and call it a postmodern method acting thing."

"No idea. There's... war correspondents? If we were at war right now."

"'Aitim, I need a war, you don't mind starting one for me, do you?'"

Snort.

Kiss. "If you wanted to meet a blue for some unfathomable reason I could introduce you sometime. You could offer to spar and he could practice not making faces."

"Would he compliment me on my skill at throwing things and hitting stuff?"

"So deftly you felt like he meant every word!"

"That's an accomplishment, all I usually hear when blues're talking on TV is 'I am full of shit, I am full of shit'."

"I know, right? If we did the fantasy integration thing I bet cops'd still practically all be grey but I bet blues would never win elections."

"Who d'you think would?"

" - uh. Hadn't thought about it much. Maybe purples would win the purple vote all the time and that'd usually be enough to carry it."

"Guess so."

"Wouldn't really be better but I'd find it really funny."

"They'd fuck up differently, s'pose."

"If you put it to a vote purples might go for replacing reds with robots, too. 'specially all the ones who don't live in cities and wouldn't have to deal with riots."

"That'd be nice. My building had some plumbing redone, the other week, it was crawling with 'em."

"I don't think I've ever seen one."

"The ones who work nice places are probably better at keeping out of sight."

"Or the utilities people schedule the maintenance better, yeah."

"Or maybe the buildings have secret passages for 'em or something."

"If there are no one would've told me about them because as a kid I'd totally have put on several plastic bags as armor and gone exploring."

"Ick," laughs Ialtem.

"But secret escape routes from my house!"

"Did it need escaping?"

"Not badly enough to justify that, really, but." Sigh. 

Pat pat.

Mmmhmm. 

He comes to the martial arts lessons.

"Rehearsals are canceled today," says the director, who's looking queasy. "Don't you watch the news -"

"I do not."

He checks the news.

Apparently Voa, which exports most staple crops and a lot of meat and veggies too, has been letting reds handle practically all their food. This explains the large advertisements that aren't usually there advertising LOCAL SALAD FIXINGS and DOMESTICALLY SOURCED BREAD and GUARANTEED ALL-BARAVIC BEEF.

- well. Huh. 

He calls Aitim. "Are those signs even regulated."

" - not specifically but we've put out a notice that fraud statutes apply. The food's safe, for what that's worth -"

"The hell is Voa thinking."

"That since the food's safe there's no harm done. Based off reading their internet, I'm not senior enough to be involved in all the yelling."

"Heh."

"It's really not funny."

"No, it's actually kind of hilarious."

"We might go to war, Telkam. Tapa almost certainly will."

"That's maybe taking it a bit far. If the food's safe it's just an elaborate 'fuck you' to everyone, right -"

"Wars have started over smaller elaborate fuck-yous and just because the food's safe doesn't mean anyone'll eat it, it's still disgusting -"

"It's hilarious."

"I'm busy, Telkam." He hangs up.

He spends an obscene amount of money on local everything and heads to Ialtem's.

Ialtem is washing eggs. "I figure since I don't eat the shells - I've got canned stuff from before they were doing it, if you don't want to risk the eggs."

"Nah, that's fine. Bought groceries that promised really loud they were local. Spent my entire paycheck on it but whatever."

"It should settle down, at least they didn't do this in winter. Grandma's going to bring over stuff from her garden later. Debating whether to let the dog have the stuff I'd have to throw out. He won't know the difference."

"And it's safe, just gross. You might want to, everything's going to be insanely expensive until they get it straightened out."

Nod. "Uncle in the standing military says they're probably going to start recruiting for short contracts."

"Aitim says Tapa's going to war and we might too, yeah."

"Might join up."

"I'm not really sure what a war helps with, but if we have one I will be a war correspondent. Or something."

"I wonder how hard it'd be for you to just sneak into the army outright."

" - oooh. - I guess I could bleach my hair and go try to sign up and see if they stop me. Still don't see what a war helps with."

"There'll be a spiel in the recruitment material."

"Sure but, like, the blues decide if we're going to war and then they have someone write up why, there'd be a spiel whether it was a good idea or a dumb one. I guess if it gets Voa to stop it."

"That'll be the general idea."

"Do you have bleach?"

"No, but my neighbor's naturally purple, she'll have some -"

He acquires bleach.

He dyes his hair. Watches the news.

Tapa's annexing a farm province of Voa. Anitam will be supporting Tapa on this. They are not currently implementing rationing - they grow enough food domestically, and it's summer, they can do quick crops of some things. They will no longer be recognizing Voa's maritime authority over certain fisheries and will be fishing them.

That's fairly contained and civilized and moderate and reasonable. 

He is still vaguely sympathetic to whoever in Voa decided to turn the whole game on its head like that. But if you know you're a flip-the-board kind of person you shouldn't be blue.

Not that most people get the choice.

He goes in to sign up.

They want his given name but don't ask for his job name; everybody who signs on is a litem. Soldier. There's a physical. There's a skills test - can he drive, can he shoot, can he run a mile, can he carry so much weight. Medical exam. They don't actually ask if he's grey. The orange medics and the yellow desk jobs and the reds have separate recruitment pipelines, so what else would he be?

What else indeed. He can pass the physical. He has not used a gun before. 

They'll teach him the basics but he'll probably wind up doing transpo or something in that case.

Yeah that's fine seeing as he actually thinks the Voans are funny and doesn't especially feel like shooting at them. It's not like their greys had anything to do with their food export policy, anyway.

He gets a uniform and a sidearm and three weeks of basic training and a truck. Ialtem's there too, although he knows how to shoot so he gets a bigger gun.

He feels so much happier. It's weird how much of a difference it makes just fitting into your own skin. 

He doesn't speak Voan but there's decent machine translation. He tries to look up why they did this in the first place.

The Voans seem pretty furious about it themselves; apparently it was a single blue actor coordinating a bunch of purples, one Allocator Savo. He has not made statements beyond that the food is safe; he is on tape eating something handed to him right then and there by a red, although he didn't touch the man himself.

- and no one can, like, countermand him? 

They can, they have, he just did a lot of damage before that and now nobody trusts their export procedures.

It seems kind of dumb to go to war if they've already cut it out. But maybe he's just overthinking things because he got a green education instead of a grey one.

Nobody in his squad is thinking that hard about it.

They join up with the Tapai forces. Tapap is loosely related to Anitami and he can try to pick it up if he wants to hang around the Tapai soldiers.

- hey, gives him something to tell his dad about on the phone that isn't 'we're pointlessly shooting people but I'm still really happy because I was that miserable trying to be an intellectual'. 

Well, Telkam isn't shooting people, he's hauling supplies in his truck.

The Tapai soldiers are pretty friendly and willing to teach him the language.

- he doesn't want to be, like, his unit's unofficial translator. It feels too green. But he picks it up, describes it to his father over the phone and takes down his father's questions and tries to unobtrusively get answers.

Plenty of greys pick up allied countries' languages well enough for field use and they have yellows back home for anything sensitive, he is in no danger of being slotted into a green occupation.

This does not stop him from worrying! 

...sometimes he thinks he should run farther away. Knowing more languages would help with that.

By the time they've annexed the province he's reasonably proficient with Tapap. And his father's fluent.

Halfway through the summer they've secured Imde province (well, Tapa has, Anitam helped) and they can scale down the operation to a border-securing one. His unit and their allied Tapai unit lose their red attachés in a confused ambush and they connect up with another Tapai squad that has one. She loads the bodies into her red-splashed truck.

If he were a red he'd be on Voa's side, really. Guess maybe they have to draft them or something. 

That night he can hear faint shouting from the area of camp where she's pitched her tent.

That's more interesting than the news, which is in any event loading really slowly on his pocket everything.  

He heads over.

"I DON'T CARE, MOM, I DO NOT CARE YOU FIND THE MONEY SOMEWHERE - RENT OUT MY ROOM - ASK GRANDPA - FIND IT -"

He should maybe not spy on random red family conversations.

The news won't load at all. He keeps listening.

"THEN STEAL IT. TAKE SOMEBODY'S PURSE AT WORK - TAKE HER DAD'S PURSE -"

Giggle.

...she peeks out of her tent.

There's a grey in Anitam uniform standing there. "Everyone can hear you, honey."

"I'm sorry sir."

"- can you not. I was way more into the purse-stealing thing. But maybe quieter purse-stealing planning."

"I um."

"I'm not gonna report you. Though you'd probably get caught anyway and I feel like people would be super upset if reds stole their purse."

"Probably."

"So what gives?"

"I'll be quieter sir."

"Don't call me sir." He tugs at his white hair, maybe a little self-consciously. 

"I'll be quieter."

"...okay."

"If I were a red I think I'd kinda be on Voa's side, do they make you sign up?"

"No. Needed the money."

"The pay's kind of lousy, is it better for reds-  it wouldn't be better for reds."

"It's not."

"Would you tell me the purse-stealing plan for 20 tap? I'm curious. Haven't met a red before."

"Um. ...Okay."

"I've been offered money for stuff before and somehow it only exists if I get my hands on the money first."

" - yeah, okay." He pulls out his wallet, finds a twenty, starts to hand it to her, hesitates -

"You can put it down."

...he does that.

She snatches it up and tucks it in her pocket.

"We're leasing a child credit for my baby and my dad's company just lost its biggest contract and I think we're going to miss a payment and they're talking about the war being over soon now we've got Imde and I might get sent home and then it's not even, we can keep the credit but maybe go hungry, there's just no way. But my mom does demos for oranges. She could steal somebody's purse."

" - why would you lease a credit for a baby -"

"Because I wasn't expecting to need one and had to get it aftermarket!"

" - well, get 'em to give the kid to someone you know and then you can do visits under the table, unless your neighbors are real assholes they won't report that."

"The credits don't work like that."

"'s how they work at home though I've never known anyone to lease one."

"Well, in Tapa when I leased it I had to give her name and address and if I lose title to the credit they hunt her down even if I hide her five doors down."

" - right but then don't they, like, give her to whoever's on top of the adoption list. Which can be the neighbor if you - call in favors, which okay you probably can't do -"

"Uh, no, if she doesn't have a credit she's not allowed to exist - I don't know anybody who even might take over payments for me if they got to adopt her -"

" - so they, what, kill her?"

Nod.

"What the fuck."

"How much is it."

"Three thou for what's left. Installments're five hundred."

"I don't have - I took a hell of a pay cut joining the army - Makel would but I don't know how I'd explain it - I could just say 'there's a girl' and let him draw erroneous conclusions maybe -"

"Makel?"

"My brother would have the money and has wasted more of it on stupider things."

"That would be very nice of you."

"I'll message him." 

Internet's still slow. He shakes the pocket everything.

"I've got service but he won't know the address."

"Say 'hi Senel this is Telkam, borrowing someone's device, I need three thousand tap for reasons I'll totally call and explain once I have service' - Senel's his social secretary -"

"Do they know Tapap -"

"Uh, bits and pieces, I've been teaching them, but I can spell out the Anitami for you -" sigh. "Or you could give me the phone and I can go wash later, this is a bit absurd."

"I could put it on speakerphone. I don't want to get in trouble -"

"Sure, let's try that."

She dials whatever he tells her to dial and puts it on speakerphone.

"Hello!" says a cheery female voice in Anitami.

         "Hi, Senal. I need some money quickly, can you put me through -"

"Need money for what?"

         "Child credit. It's a long story."

" - it's not even the right season -"

         "Not mine. I met a girl and they're behind on payments and in Tapa apparently they shoot the kid for that and I wanna pay it off because what the fuck."

"- in other words you met a girl and she had a sob story about how she needs - how much - from the foreigner who doesn't know anything about how Tapai law works -"

        "Three thousand tap."

"Uh huh. Who even leases a child credit."

       "She said she didn't plan the kid - maybe she has a birth control allergy or something -"

"Uh huhhh."

       "Just put me through, please."

"He's not to be interrupted."

       "Can he call me back when he's done."

"You quit your job to go play commoner that's your lookout, but if you're going to do it and beg off everyone else so you can keep living like a green -"

      "I want to speak to my brother."

"I'll tell him you called." Click.

He scowls at her phone.

"I have another idea."

"I'm not allergic - or stupid - he just didn't warn me - I can show you pictures of her if you don't believe me -"

"She's just a moron. Most people are. If they weren't I'd feel slightly bad about suggesting this."

"Suggesting what?"

"I'm green. I dyed it and signed up for the army because I hated my life. My dad switched castes as a kid and he didn't even dye his hair. No one notices, no one checks, everyone just assumes - bleach your hair, take the baby - the bleach'll fuck up her skin, if it's not coming in like bright red you might just say it's orange or something - crash at my place and I'll lean on my brother for papers -"

"- hers actually is orange -"

"There you go, even better. It's a stupid fucking system and the best way to rip it up is for people to just switch whenever the fuck it doesn't suit them."

"- even if you are really really sure you want to put us up timing will be dicey -"

"I don't give a fuck - I mean, I'll crash somewhere else, but I usually do that anyway - can you keep her in the truck with you so when there's an opening -"

"She's quiet but I don't know if she's that quiet..."

"I could, like, see if I can get Makel to show up for morale or something and then we could get a ride back with him."

"Okay like do you mean the singer -"

"Uh, yeah -"

"Um. Wow."

Snort. "I don't want to call again but I can confess to my unit commander and ask."

"...okay."

The next time his unit commander seems to be in a good mood he asks.

"Entertainment visits go through the desks, but I don't mind as long as he does the one about the bird."

"Thanks."

He asks the desk.

Deskjob army yellow says that he will be happy to schedule something if Makel is available for the standard field entertainment fee.

When informed of the standard field entertainment fee he declines to do it for that but he'll do it for free.

Okay, that works too. He's all scheduled! Off he goes!

Telkam is a transpo guy and can even volunteer to pick him up.

Telkam got Peka's email and emails her to tell her. 

He goes to pick his brother up.

"Hello. Having fun?"

"I don't get to shoot people nearly as often as I'd like."

"Not funny."

"Not joking." Pause. "Not very joking, anyway. Did Senel say I called?"

"Said you wanted three thousand tap for a girl."

"Well, now instead she's coming home with us."

Sigh. "Are you happy?"

"Do I look happy?"

"The reason everyone's indulging all this is because they want you to be happy."

"What would you do if you were grey? - what would you do if you were red?"

"If I were grey I'd be good at grey things, Telkam, that's how it works. There aren't greys who sing like me - they could release records still, no one'd stop them -"

"Mmhmm. Girl's named Peka. She's pretty."

"I assumed as much."

"I'm not actually seeing her I just don't think they should shoot her baby and we don't all have three thousand tap to throw around."

"Where's she going to live?"

"My place. I can reliably find some grey who'll have me over and I hate our part of the city."

Sigh. 

"You're supposed to sing the one about the bird."

"Do you have any idea what it would look like, for you to be happy -"

"Dad invents FTL and I don't have to do any schoolwork to get xenobotany certified somehow and I go far far away and wander and send back pictures that everyone agrees are of Substantial Intellectual Merit and no one fucking shoots fucking babies and anyone anywhere who wants to leave can -"

"I will tell Dad to get on it."

And he does a performance. 

Peka has snuck Katin away with her the last time she had to ferry a body into the city. Katin is hidden her truck; she's big enough now to mostly handle her own bottle and that keeps her quiet. Peka has bleached her hair. She wraps it in a towel so she can come out and listen.

People call him the best singer in the world. This is probably warranted. 

Peka hugs herself.

And he finds her. "You're riding back with us, I can't get a day off but I can drop you off and give you a key."

"Thank you."

"You'll be okay."

"Thank you."

Makel does autographs. Makel does a couple more songs. Makel gives vague but quotable answers about what he's working on next. Makel commends the commitment of the troops to ensuring a safe food supply for everybody. 

And he gets in the truck. "You must be Peka." His Tapap is definitely comprehensible.

"Yes -" She cuts herself off before she says 'sir'. Her hair is white and the baby's is orange, why would she say sir.

"Are you planning to enlist in Anitam, too, or do something else?"

"...I. I don't know yet. This is sort of sudden."

"My brother has kind of questionable judgment sometimes."

"I can hear you."

"I know. - he did tell you he dyed his hair because he wanted to join the army - and I don't think he even agreed with the war -"

"Not especially."

"He mentioned, yeah." She snuggles her baby. "I just needed the money."

"Credits don't work like that here- if you have a kid without one they'll stop you from doing that again and put the baby up for adoption, but lots of people want to adopt a baby."

"I don't super want her to be kidnapped and me to be sterilized but it'd be better than them just killing her."

"It's not like lax enforcement's a kindness either." Sigh. "I have a little brother who's been scheming to make all the credits cheaper but I think it'll only really catch on with green and blue, if it catches on at all."

"Why's that?"

"I mean, it amounts to 'we should all collude to not bid much at auction' and that works better with smaller populations where reputation matters a lot."

"The last time he explained it to me it was way more complicated than that."

"How to collude effectively is complicated but the idea's simple."

"Huh." Katin stirs in her arms and Peka adjusts her and starts singing softly.

He seems happy to listen.

She goes through a lullaby and then turns out to have a harmony part that corresponds to one of his songs.

Oooooh. He'll sing along.

...she has a bunch of those actually.

Awwww he's flattered. And they can do all of them.

And halfway through he'll take a bump by the truck as an excuse to slide closer.

She manages not to flinch away, but she does tense up.

Which he clearly takes as a signal to back off, and doesn't try it again. 

Telkam drops them off at a train station.

"How do I find your place -"

"That one." He points at an apartment complex across the way. "303, it's on the key."

"Thank you - so much -"

"It'd be kind of dumb to say 'I get it' because, not really, but -"

She kisses her baby. "If there's ever anything I could do -"

"Just settle in and be whatever you want and I'll feel good about it."

She nods. "Thanks."

"Uh huh."

He drives off.

She looks vaguely intimidated by the apartment building but heads in.

It's swanky. Clearly aimed mostly at students, several of whom are clustered in the common areas muttering over whiteboards or reading or marking papers. They glance at her but not with particular interest.

Wow.

She goes up to 303.

She unpacks, into a conservative little corner of the apartment. She feeds Katin again. She investigates the state of her formula and food supply.

He is maybe not fantastic at keeping his apartment stocked. There's an unopened shipping box with forty packets of instant oatmeal atop it in the corner of the pantry. There are cans of pineapple. There's expired milk in the fridge. 

She dumps the milk. She attempts to get on the internet and see if there's any food out of Voa available on clearance.

Yep! 

Then she will tie Katin to her back and go out and see if they'll take tap for it.

Nope but once the partial language barrier is managed with the help of a storekeeper's pocket everything they can point her at a bank that will.

She changes the currency. She goes back and stocks up on couscous and nuts and dried fruit and do they happen to have formula?

They do have formula but while she's picking some out a middle-aged woman comes up to her and says that she insists on buying the baby clean formula - "you mustn't risk her health, the poor thing -"

"- it's not dangerous and she's too little to know it's disgusting - I really don't have the money -"

"I'll pay for it, don't you worry about it."

"Thank you that's very generous."

And she gets them lots and lots of locally certified formula and smiles at Katin and chatters about when hers were that age and pays for it.

And that means that Peka's money will stretch farther for everything else, so she manages very sincere thanks.

Lady pats her on the shoulder and wishes her well and bustles off. 

She gets eggs too since she has extra. And once she has all her things she goes back.

She feeds Katin again and when the baby is asleep she emails the written harmonies she wrote for Makel's songs to him.

He writes back. Thank you! The one for Slipsong's really lovely, I'd be interested in getting it recorded some time if you'd like. Settling in okay? Telkam asked our brother Aitim to check in with you but he's been really busy and said he might not make it until the end of the week.

Recording it would be really fun! This place is nicer than the one I had back in Tapa and I'm finding my way around all right, I got my money changed and got some food, I don't know if Telkam will mind my eating his but even if he won't he only had oatmeal and pineapple. It'd be nice to know when to expect Aitim more precisely if he's coming?

I'll tell him to call ahead. Are you all right on money? It doesn't seem fair to expect you to get a job right away in a foreign country with a baby and no one to watch her.

I am not super sure what I am going to do about that.

I don't really know if there are grey jobs that let you work remotely. Ask Aitim, he'll think of something. I'll arrange a babysitter when I set up a time with the recording studio.

She's a pretty easy baby but at minimum I'd need check on her every now and then and within a season that won't work anymore.

Who watched her while you were in the army?

My parents.

Aitim'll probably have some ideas for you.

You're all being so nice to me.

Telkam means very well and doesn't always have great followthrough so we fill in for him. And Aitim's nice professionally. Don't worry about it. 

Thank you.

I'm glad you like my harmonies. I have all your songs up to when I started having to save all the money I could.

He sends her the rest of his songs. You're really talented. 

(She quietly discards the pirated versions.) Thanks!

End of the week she gets an email from Aitim, he'd like to drop by this afternoon, is that all right?

...yes that's fine.

He knocks a few hours later.

She opens the door and how many castes does this family have but "Hello."

"Hi!" His Tapap is a little better than Makel's. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't quietly starving because Telkam didn't say you could touch the stove, or anything."

"Ah. Um. I am not starving."

"Oh good. May I come in?"

She nods and steps aside.

He looks around, pulls out a chair, sits down, pulls a couple of baby toys out of his bag. They're solid wood, sturdy and elegant. "Someone tried telling me that orange babies are supposed to have dolls but in Tapa she wouldn't even be orange, right, you can probably arrange it either way. These are the ones my little brothers liked best."

"...in Tapa she would not have been orange," confirms Peka. "Thank you."

"Here it's patrilineal but if she's showing a distinctly grey personality in a couple seasons we can take advantage of the ambiguity and get her sent to a school that's a better fit. Do you have everything you need here?"

"I'm trying to figure out what to do for money in the medium if not long term - if I can't leave her with my parents I can't go reenlist, even if they wouldn't notice I, um, deserted."

"They might notice that." Sigh. "What were you doing before you joined the army -"

"I was in training to work with my mom but I wasn't really cut out for it."

"That makes it trickier, you won't really have different job opportunities here - well, we have more open-water sports, and sex work's grey here, I don't think it is in Tapa."

"It's orange there. Hadn't thought of that."

"Be careful, okay? We can help if you're having a hard time making ends meet." He frowns at the dusty stove again. "Telkam's very stubborn. There's no chance he'll change his mind about helping you be here, and he definitely won't mind if you email him with questions. I don't want you to feel like you're on thin ice here."

"Thank you. I actually just didn't buy anything that would need stovetop cooking but I appreciate that."

"Of course. Anything you've been confused about -"

"Buses."

He can explain those!!

He's so helpful!

And efficient. "Anything else?"

"I don't suppose you know how sex workers get started around here."

"Can't say I do. Makel probably does - he pays them to go away, if you know the expression -"

"I don't know this expression."

"Uh, if you're an internationally famous pop star, why pay for sex - the thing you're actually paying for being a mutual understanding that there are no further expectations."

"Ah."

"You know how to reach him?"

"He wants to record a version of Slipsong with the harmony I wrote."

"Ooooh! I will look forward to hearing it." And he goes.

And she investigates what the Internet has to say on selling sex for fun and profit.

There are client review sites she can join (for money) and lots of advice (for free) and places where you can place personal ads (for free).

...it's summertime, what's the worst that can happen, she'll skip client review for now. Reads the advice, places an ad.

Gets varyingly boorish responses and a lot of requests for nude pictures and a concerned man who finds the sex industry objectionable and wants to save her.

Does the last guy want to pay her not to do it? Do the people who want nudes want to pay her to do it? Do the boors respond well to flirty suggestions that they pay her?

Last guy does not want to pay her. Few of the other people are interested in paying her.

Few isn't none, right?

Nope! After the ad's been up for a couple days few is actually kind of a full schedule unless she wants to bang several people a day.

She's not opposed! She has made a sort of playpen area for Katin in the corner out of a sofa and an armchair and as long as people come to her so she's not leaving the baby alone and are not obviously terrible she can totally work for several hours a day. Moneyyyyy.

Some people are terrible. Most people are not terrible. Makel emails her to ask how she's doing and let her know the recording studio time.

She is doing well! She has figured out a job! (She can afford the review site now.) She will arrange to have that time open.

He sends a car for her and a babysitter for Katin.

Hello babysitter this is Katin she has the following characteristics!

Babysitter (orange) is charmed and will take very good care of her.

Good. Into the car goes Peka.

Makel's studio is a bit extravagant and he waves at her cheerfully. "Hey! I'm glad you're settling in!"

"Me too! Wow, this place is nice."

"Thank you! I'm more responsible now but when I first had a hit I got all the nice things. It's pretty thoroughly booked but if you're sufficiently flexible and willing to come in for a last-minute cancellation you could come play around sometime."

"I could maybe do that."

"I will tell Senel to add you to the list of people we squeeze into sudden vacancies. What job did you end up taking?"

"Sex work's grey here, that was interesting to learn."

"It's grey most places I've been. Or a plurality, anyway. Liberal places grey or orange."

"Ooh, dual-caste careers. Anyway, so that's a thing, I have a Silver Night account now. 'Perfect Fifth'."

"And you're happy?"

"It's way better than the army!"

"I can imagine!!! Have you been in a recording studio before -"

"Nope!"