vichysoisse: maybe ur a little bitch
spirulinagalaxy: oh you're back from wherever you fucked off to without your devices
spirulinagalaxy: yay...
vichysoisse: yeah im back. had a lovely time cuz im not a little bitch
Mezzopiano: vic do you ever say anything constructive
vichysoisse: no :)

oh hey vichy

how was hawaii

did the natives try to eat you like captain cook

also wow you caught up on my Situation quick

vichysoisse: yeah i have only 1 leg now but it was so tasty
vichysoisse: the situation where rhinoceros k-napped u? yeah i can read
pithy: captain cooked
pithy: I'll show myself out
captain cooked: no that was great
unicorn: robin plz
captain cooked: sorry not sorry I precommitted to keep this one for 24 hours to assuage the complaints that I change it too much
Mezzopiano: what a profoundly ludicrous response to criticism
captain cooked: ... ... fuck me
Mezzopiano: :3
a profoundly ludicrous response to criticism: are you HAPPY
Mezzopiano: so happy

excuse you her NAME is MONOCEROS and she is my GIRLFRIEND NOW (i hope)

unicorn: do you know her... actual name...
spirulinagalaxy: maybe all other names are dead to her, we don't know
unicorn: okay but like does she actually just go by monoceros in her personal life
pithy: yeah, what if you're unwittingly dating a villain who's secretly named fucking, idk, mathilde
vichysoisse: ur goto for a terrible name is mathilde?
pithy: shut up
vichysoisse: no

vichy is right

mathilde is a cute name

but like i don't care what her "real" name is

if we as a society are gonna respect chosen names we ought to be consistent about it

not like i need to file her fucking tax returns or smth

unicorn: but filing tax returns together is a key mark of intimacy k
pithy: so what do supervillains eat. thinking of throwing a "what monoceros has been eating" themed party

last night we split a whole roast turkey

among other things

pithy: holy wow. half my likely guests are vegetarians though what else did you have

uuuhhhh cheese. cake. cheesecake. (not a joke we actually had all three of those things seperately, the cheese was with like salami or something but you just said no meat) crostini. i really liked the crostini.

pithy: by some miracle was the crostini vegan, sometimes I have one of those
pithy: maybe this is a bad party idea
spirulinagalaxy: noooo it's fun just give it a few days and some incidentally vegan stuff is sure to turn up

idk it didn't exactly come with a nutrition facts label

pithy: unlabeled crostini got it
spirulinagalaxy: does she let you make requests

haven't tried

don't wanna give her goons extra work

also there's something nice about having my food picked out for me

(provided it's actually cooked well regardless of what it is, which it is)

Mezzopiano: what are the goons like
Mezzopiano: where do goons come fpqoiheoopjimlkm,m,
Mezzopiano: cat
Mezzopiano: come from

No idea

they seem to be treated pretty well tho?

like at breakfast there was this whole hotel-style buffet setup and when me and mo were done the goons got all the rest

pithy: leftovers, my favorite
spirulinagalaxy: hey that's not nothing, that's a major job perk at like nice-ass restaurants

Katie checks the time and tries to remember when she was called to breakfast yesterday.

If breakfast is at the same time today it's still an hour out, but it might plausibly be creeping earlier as she adjusts to the time zone.

be back soon guys gonna keep going on that whole "not squandering opportunity for self-improvement" thing by doing some situps in my precious last few moments of not having a massive obstructing boulder of food in my stomach

pithy: weird flex but ok
pithy: I guess actually situps are a perfectly normal flex

She puts on a video essay, gets up from the computer, and does just that.

Knock knock.

She pauses the video essay and opens the door. God, she hopes she's not too sweaty.

"Miss, the breakfast buffet is ready."