"It's not like we met or anything but the last thing he did before he died was misdirect a bunch of people who were coming to defend my planet from alien invasion into a black hole and get most of them killed. So."

"- that is not at all in character, how sure are you -"

"Uh, Matirin, that being the you, let his ambiguous-boyfriend-he-won't-tell-the-Internet-either-way brain-slug him to prove that he wasn't in on it, pretty sure. The brain slugs being the alien invasion. Maybe your dad isn't a his dad, I dunno, I'm new here."

"So far I only come with the one dad. Brain-slug him?"

"So there's these brain slugs called Yeerks, they do, not technically mind control I guess but they read all your memories and can impersonate you and stuff. Major blue centaur alien weapon is shapeshifting, so we can turn into Yeerks and occasionally that's worth the ick."

"Well that's horrifying, let's not tell Kib."

"Who's Kib?"

"Kib is a Bell, that's us - not the same face, there's a few faces and he's a boy - who spent awhile in captivity with an evil god and minions thereof reading his memories and impersonating most of his loved ones to him in between all the torture. He shouldn't be told anything that looks like a setup, because he can verify his husband's identity and that his husband has not been tortured yet..."

"Yeesh."

"That particular evil god is dead. Are the brain-slugs all handled -"

"Not all of them, but the ones on Earth yeah."

"Are they brainslugging anywhere else?"

"Yeah."

"Well. Door's shut. Probably worth grabbing the local alts if they're grabbable but then we'll come up with a plan." 

"If I'm here for long I'll want my sister."

"The rest of us are only children."

"...that's, uh, weird. I have a twin. Andi."

"By all means grab her too, then - we can get you a fairy, if they're in the same solar system it'll be a really fast trip -"

"Oh, Andi's not far, thoughtspeak distance. Do explain fairies and all the other everything."

Down comes Cam. "Fairies are like me only with different magic powers and less snazzy accessory limbs. Hi, I'm Cam, this is Timothy."

"Hi! It's all in the file, we finally got around to making a file."

"Apparently we come in blue centaur alien."

"- you know what, that works, I can see that."

"I bet you're a very fetching blue centaur alien."

"The entire Internet has a crush on him but mostly because his human morph is pretty."