And the cat wanders inside without a care in the world, as though it belongs here. 

It settles down into its corner to stretch out and watch. 

And lo, there is bacon!

The cat perks its head up and meows softly when she takes the bacon out of the bag, staring at it intensely. 

"Why do you do this to yourself? You and I both know what comes next."

She puts the bacon in the fridge.

The cat meows morosely and puts its head back down and starts licking its paw. 

"You have only yourself to blame."

The cat is a cat, and so cannot understand her, and keeps licking its paw. 

A few more groceries make their way into the cupboards, and then she says, "All right, clear out unless you're planning to start paying rent."

The cat finishes washing itself and hops up onto the countertops, looking at the faucet and then at April. 

Eyeroll. "Fiiiiiine." She turns on the tap.

The cat laps at the stream of water, turning its head sideways and lapping out its tongue repeatedly for several minutes as it drinks its fill. 

April sighs and sits down at her kitchen table to play Candy Crush.

Eventually, the cat finishes drinking its fill, and jumps down off of the kitchen counter, moving to rub up against her thighs, softly purring.

"I'm being buttered up by a fuzzy freeloader."

The cat purrs in agreement, (not that it can understand can understand her, of course, it's just a cat), and then tenses and hops up into April's waiting lap to curl up there, purring even more contentedly. 

"Ack—aww, c'mon—"

She splutters a bit, but refrains from any sudden movements after her initial startled jerk.

"I really feel like this can't be a healthy relationship," she mutters. "All I do is show you food you can't eat and then kick you out of my house. Is this normal to you? I think you need higher standards."

One hand tentatively comes to rest on the cat.

The cat purrs and rubs itself up against her hand, nestling even more deeply into her lap. 

"Quit being so cozy, you're harshing my groove."

The cat cannot possibly understand what she's saying, being just a cat, and has no reason to do anything but continue to curl up cozily in her lap and purr at the hand softly resting on it. Though if it could understand her it would be quite happy at the current situation. 

"I have shit to do today, man, you can't just take a nap on me." But she makes no move to evict the creature. "Dammit."

The cat, being just a cat, cannot understand her, and so does not tilt its head in amused laughter. (It also doesn't pump its fist in the air in victory like a human would, as it doesn't have fists, among other reasons. Its paws are occupied.) Instead, it shifts slightly to put its head against her stomach, and purrs, and closes its eyes to take a restful nap. 

If only the cat were looking and also literate, it could catch April googling 'how to get a cat out of your lap' on her phone.

"Half these people are asking how to get a cat into your lap," she grumbles. "That's literally the opposite of my problem, guys."

The cat yawns, stretches a little, and curls up even more cozily in her lap, as though making sure to be extra comfy for her. 

"Flattery. Seduction. Espionage," she says, grumpy but also trying not to laugh. "You're a criminal."

The cat simply nestles warmly in her lap, purring softly as it naps.