April in Starter Villain
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The kneading continues for several more seconds, before the cat stretches and curls up comfortably on her lap, still purring. 

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"I have done nothing for you but grudgingly exhibit basic decency. Why are you like this."

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The cat has nothing to say to this, but instead naps in April's lap, purring contentedly. 

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"Fine, I guess I can't stop you." She resumes playing Candy Crush.

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And the cat will continue to cozily nap in her lap. 

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April has no recourse but to put up with this.

 

Can she successfully nudge the cat awake ten minutes later?

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She can, though the cat will respond to this, at least to begin with, by nuzzling affectionately against her hand. 

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"Wake up, sleepyhead, it's time for your weekly Getting The Fuck Out Of My House."

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The cat cannot understand human language, and so has a perfect excuse for why it continues rubbing up against her hand and purring instead of getting up and leaving. 

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"Fuzzy little home invader. C'mon." Poke poke. The pokes are not actually that bothersome, because she's being pretty careful not to actually hurt the cat.

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The cat does eventually get the message, and hops up off her lap, and unhurriedly pads its way back towards the door. 

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"And good riddance!"

She closes the door behind it.

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Next week when April leaves the house once again, she'll find the cat napping on the loveseat in a warm beam of sunshine. It opens one eye at the sound of the door opening and watches her. 

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"G'morning, Doorstep Delinquent. Dreaming of crimes?"

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The cat has no response to this other than to keep its open eye open, and continue to watch her. 

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She locks her door and trundles off as usual.

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And the cat watches her go, and settles back into its sunbeam to continue its nap. 

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And soon enough she trundles back with groceries.

"It's time for Grocery Inspection, you utter weirdo," she says as she hauls the cart up to the door and fishes for her keys.

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The cat stretches, perks up its head, and hops off the cushion to stand next to April and wait while she opens the door. As soon as the door is opened it enters, as though the door had been opened just for it and not for any other reason. 

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"The bearing of a queen and the manners of a burglar." She pulls the cart inside. "You know, it's really inconvenient having to leave the door open for you every week. I'd get a cat door, but then you'd just sneak in and shit on my floor at all hours, and then where would I be?"

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The cat cannot understand human language and even if it could cannot speak it to argue with her, and so settles into its usual corner and starts meticulously washing a paw, waiting to see what has been purchased this time. 

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This week there's both bacon and eggs!

"Don't get excited, I'm still not feeding you."

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The cat, having no way to understand her, still perks up, especially when the bacon goes by. It meows at her plaintively, eyes tracking the package with need. 

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"The answer is still no!"

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The cat meows again when the package is put away, then looks elsewhere and goes back to cleaning a paw. 

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