"We could ask him to recommend people and not work too directly on it? That might be wise anyway, given the existence of Ardas where he leads a great deal of evil himself -"

"That's an oath thing and happens after fifty years in Angband anyway."

"Yes, but if we are going to want to offer those instances of him the opportunity to answer to our court we owe it to them to ensure we can offer them the appearance of a fair trial in addition to an actual fair trial."

"Makes sense. Of course you might find that anybody has alts who do bad things - uh, like most of your alts - it's just the Maedhroses are conspicuous because his alts were already involved in multiversal," handwave, "stuff."

" - that is a very fair point. All right. We won't worry about alts per se, then, but will still endeavor not to have people who are already personal friends of yours represent the human perspective."

Wonders never cease. "All right."

"Is there anything else?"

"I'm curious about what your parallel investigation is turning up."

"We can slow down human aging a few thousandfold, and reverse that, and have gone ahead and done so for the humans in Milliways who wanted it. It appears we should be able to gate to some but not all other worlds, we aren't sure why, we are contemplating asking Eru. We have not yet spoken to our flat-world soul Elf counterparts."

"What, uh, is the deal with Eru."

They look at each other in a way that could only be described as 'awkwardly'. 

"The other ones are probably omnipotent," Varda ventures. "Ours - used to be, but we talked him out of it."

"He used to be omnipotent and you talked him out of it," repeats Cam slowly.

"We asked him if he'd known Melkor was doing that, and he had, and why he hadn't stopped Melkor, and he said he just thought it made for a really beautiful narrative arc, so - we weren't sure what to do with that for a long time and then we convinced him that a god giving his omnipotence piecemeal to his people was a great narrative arc, and that he'd have more fun if he couldn't foresee everything anyway, and now - he is still very powerful, mind, we really recommend you not come to his attention, but he mostly hangs out on the Moon and posts glowing reviews of horribly tragic books - the entirety of Elven literature has an aggressively depressing bent because everyone wants God to like their writing -"

"Wow."

"Hey," says a voice from all around them all at once, "that's not fair, I also answer prayers and do shadow puppet shows with the Moon! And why shouldn't he come to my attention, he has a great story arc -"

The Valar sigh in perfect unison. "That's why," Varda says patiently. "It's hurtful to say that to people."

"I mean I assume if the one from my Arda didn't like it he could have done something about it and it sounds like possibly the principal difference is that this one has stopped taking it out on real people."

"I think the one from your Arda probably thought it was great," Eru says earnestly. "Which it is, as a story, and fictional stories are so flat when you know every motion of every atom, and in order for them to be enough I had to rip away the pieces of my own perception until I was small enough to find them meaningful, and I can imagine that most of me would not have done that."

"Most of them seem not to have."

"Eru," Varda says, "want to make chips retroactively unforkable, maybe with an exception for someone who is willing to take the risk and notes in our literature that they're the person to get in order to find us..."

"Sure, who's the exception?"

"Don't know yet, if you'll do it I will ask around."

"I could just do an exception for alt consent."

"Problem is," Nienna says, "some people apparently have evil alts."

"They do!"

"So why don't we ask for a volunteer," Varda says, "it'll be very noble of them to volunteer and they'll wonder all the time if there are more of them out there somewhere -"

"I'll ask everyone!"

"Thank you."

Wow.

The Valar look vaguely embarrassed. "Anyway. Is that everything for now? We're probably going to have someone in Milliways for the time being, so you should not have any trouble reaching us if you have more questions..."

"I think that's everything for now. Thank you for being good at your jobs."

"We are disappointed it is uncommon. Take care."

"You too."

And he flies to his shuttle and back around the world to the door.

He's still holding it. "How'd it go?"