"If the Scouts wouldn't take you, why don't you try further afield, like the French Foreign Legion?"

"And forget? Never."

"I think your presence is agitating them," Susan says tightly.

Oh fine he'll get up and walk over, too. "Apologies for whatever part I played in that agitation." He looks at Sophie and extends a hand to shake. "And it's a pleasure to meet you, Sophie, I've heard much and more about you! I'm Peter Tarleton, Pete for short."

Sophie looks at his hand, then his face, then his skirt.

"What are your pronouns, and do I need to kill anyone for rooming you with Hywel," she asks, jerking her head in his direction as she gingerly shakes Pete's hand.

"My pronouns are whatever you're in the mood for, and I think you probably should not try to kill whoever it was, I'm sure they meant well or at least didn't mean badly."

"Alright. You're enough a girl that I'd be tempted, is all."

"I'm not discriminatory! I treat other lads exactly the same way!"

"You have three stone and fifteen centimeters on her, don't try to tell me how you come off to other lads."

"Yeah but she's got at least ten centimeters on me where it -"

Peter slaps him across the back of the head.

"Ow!"

He has to cover his mouth and hold his breath so as not to make a thoroughly embarrassing snorting noise; the cough that replaces it isn't so much trying to mask laughter as it is what happens when you inhale too much saliva from trying to prevent some other sound from coming out.

(...also add a little bit of gender euphoria to being called "her", he was mostly on autopilot when he said any pronouns but actually it feels. Nice. It feels nice.)

"Don't be too harsh on him, at least not on my account, I have a lot of tolerance for his antics and I don't, actually, mind."

"I don't mind either!" Hywel says chipperly. "I'm like one of those weighted dolls, you can knock me over and I pop back up just as easy."

"Jenkins, are you aware of a set of rules called the social contract?"

"Oh, I didn't sign mine. Religious exemption."

"Truly do not know why I bother."

"Honestly I think the way to deal with Hywel is going to be a peer, not an upperclassman. Someone society isn't telling him he should respect, so that he won't refuse it on principle. Perhaps, even, someone who sleeps in the same room as him and who has rather a lot of leeway to be a pain in his ass."

"That a threat, love?"

"No, no, it's just idle musings not necessarily related to any specific person or persons. ...I'm not actually planning to do anything that would make me a bad roommate, that'd be really rude when you've been nothing but welcoming so far. Anyway! Peter, has the question you meant to explore been answered to your satisfaction?"

"I was hoping you'd forgotten about that," Peter admits. "Yes, alright, it's resolved. Bye, Su. Sophie, lovely to see you and sorry about all this. Jenkins, your fly's down."

Hywel looks downward.

And Peter knocks him on the head again. "Right, I'm off."

Pete waves with his fingers at everyone and follows him.

Back to their own table.

"So," Peter starts.

It doesn't really go anywhere from there.