"Squinty isn't a bad way to put it, necessarily... hm."

Edmund closes his eyes. "If it somehow comes down to you or Peter, I'll always pick him. That's... part of it. I wanted to bring it up sooner or later; there it is. He comes first. Always.

"I don't think that's going to actually come up. And I don't think that what you're proposing will make it come up. But however likely it is in the first place, this adds to it. Is how I feel."

He's suddenly as sure as he's every been of anything in his life that there are Peter/Edmund Narnia fics on AO3 back home. He's never had reason to contemplate the existence of that tag but "if I have to choose between you and him I'll choose him"? The fanfic writes itself.

...he kind of is in a fanfic right now, isn't he. He hadn't thought of it that way, either, but Pevensies + Tom Riddle + Tintin + whoever Sophie and Hywel are British boarding school AU could totally be used to describe what's happening to him right now.

Anyway this is of course entirely irrelevant to (what nowadays passes for) real life, the idea of being slashed with either of his siblings does in fact fill him with ick. "Not Susan or Lucy? —Lucy is well below half my age plus seven, I'm not trying to imply anything there, just curious about the emphasis."

"Oh, are you after Susan too? God preserve you. But - I love Susan. Lucy too, obviously, even if she's not immediately relevant. Peter's not more part of me than they are, the same applies to them. When you're with someone, there's more of them you can hurt. And if you hurt them - I don't mean stepping on toes, forgetting birthdays - if you hurt them, if they suffer because of you, it won't matter how I feel about you."

"That," he says, after a beat, "was incredibly hot."

Edmund chokes on a bite of pie. "Ridiculous," he coughs. "You! Are ridiculous."

"What can I say, I like it when men care so much about someone that they'll destroy me if I hurt them. And to answer your question, I am not exactly after anyone and I have certainly not spent enough time around Susan to develop a fully-fledged crush on her but between the two of you and some other stuff I think it's more likely to happen than not."

Edmund coughs some more and drinks some cordial to soothe his throat. "We do share some philosophical principles. It comes of having the same dad, and his being a doctor of philosophy."

"I suppose that's one part of it."

"Oh, come on. What are the other parts of it, Tarleton, is that what you want to hear."

Pete leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands, gazing up at Edmund with big doe eyes. "Only if you want to hear me wax poetic about your and your brother's virtues and what I like in both of you."

"...yeah," he says, more quietly. "I do."

He grins a little...

...and then switches to looking a little bit more thoughtful. "The way you're so incredibly, fiercely protective of and loyal to your family makes me swoon." He sighs deeply, a little bit for effect, a little bit thinking about it more deeply to elicit the appropriate feelings. "Fierce is a good word, a lot of the time you're trying to be—nice, calm, friendly, pleasant—but you have this strong layer of steel underneath. Unbending. You feel like... like you could be home. Like you could be someone I can rely on, a safe port in rocky seas, God this is corny." His face gets softer as he speaks, the curve of his lips less purposeful, betraying his feelings a bit more naturally. "I like your sense of humor, I like the way you blush, I like how straightforward and honest you are, how you're rolling with this—this—making the best of it, finding something you want and going after it. You're fundamentally a kind person, I think—look at me making such pronouncements after knowing you for a day—and you're incredibly perceptive. You're really smart. You," he lowers his voice, "make gorgeous faces when you've got your cock hilt deep in my mouth." Even that part is said with genuine, honest fondness, though, the same small smile playing on his lips like an uninvited but not unwelcome visitor.

"As for your brother, he's... you could say he's kind, too, but the thing he is deep down is a white knight in shining armor. And that could be said in an ironic way, or a superficial one, but it's not, he truly and fundamentally is a paladin, he is someone who will fight for all he holds dear with everything he has, to his last breath. The steel in him is sword and shield." And the way he sounds about Peter is different from how he sounded about Edmund; more infatuation than tenderness, more awe than warmth. "I could see myself bestowing him a favor when he goes jousting, or to war. And he hates that part of himself because of how he can never truly have it, not in this world, but," lower voice again, "I can give it to him, you of all people would know it now, and I want to. He seems so... unhappy most of the time. Because when he smiles, when he truly, really smiles, he's as radiant at the sun, he makes my heart beat faster and my breath come in quicker and makes me want to find out how to make it happen again."

"And let's not forget that both of you are incredibly hot, I like to think that I would like both of you regardless but it doesn't hurt that I feel a visceral desire to fuck both of you. I'm a little bit shallow, I guess, sue me."

"I have no idea how people do this," Edmund says, his voice not quite shaking. "The - the dating. Being sensible. Going slowly. I know something's supposed to be different before I say I love you, but what the Hell am I supposed to say when I love you now?"

He blinks.

Uhhhh.

Pete was not expecting this.

"I don't—actually know," he says, carefully. "I've—well, I fall for people really fast, myself, so I'm usually the first one to say it. ...well, I was, the two times it happened. Um. I don't... think I can say it back, yet."

"I mean - that's why, isn't it, so I don't pressure you, and you shouldn't feel pressured, I'm the crazy one here - just. I genuinely don't know how to express how that made me feel, without sounding crazy."

"There's the kind, friendly boy. I am approximately constitutionally incapable of feeling pressured, actually, so you don't need to worry about that. And you can say it to me, so long as you won't feel hurt if I haven't said it back yet. I—if there ever comes a time when I realize that I won't fall in love with you I'll let you know, but I really don't expect it. If nothing else I have some metanarrative guarantees."

"Well. I can't go distrusting the metanarrative, now can I. ...I will probably not be saying it left and right, just. I was very inspired."

"Well whenever I get around to it I am going to be saying it left and right, fair warning."

"Well, I don't know what time may bring. But right now my threshold's very high."

"Then I suppose if I want to hear you say it often I'll need to act lovable often, too, won't I?"

On the way to his first afternoon class, Pete texts Tintin.

hey so what's up with Monika

i believe i mentioned having no idea why she is like this