"In a park but apparently it’s - " it’s so hard to say and that’s stupid because they already know, it won’t help. "Apparently it matters that - I mean, I don’t know anything, I probably understood wrong - but I thought - that he said - that being in America without permission is second to murder and torture - "

And he doesn’t, amazingly enough, even feel slightly tempted to feel guilty. Just exhausted and judgmental and terrified and somewhere in there a little bit sad.

"That sounds like a miscommunication of some kind, yes. It's possible that your America will take issue with it. Vanda Nossëo isn't going to get you in trouble for living in a park in your America."

He whines annoyedly and runs a hand over his face. "I guess that's better than the alternative."

"Are there other confusions I could maybe clear up for you?"

"If I knew what I was confused about more specifically than 'I don't know, everything', I wouldn't have half as many problems as I do."

"That makes sense. Do you have any worries about spending, say, the next week, in this apartment?"

"...I mean. I don't expect to like it? It doesn't have coffee in it. But I'm used to being stuck in places I don't want to be and it really improves on most of the other times I've had to just lie down somewhere and wish I didn't exist. I wish the yeerks wanted me instead but, I mean, I wouldn't want to live in my head either if I had a choice."

"If you would like to host a Yeerk you can submit an application. I can help you with it if you prefer. I admit I'm not clear on how this would help - people sometimes want them if they're lonely, or have executive dysfunction..."

"I don't know what executive dysfunction is. I'm lonely, I'm tired, I'm tired of being completely useless but that doesn't make me capable of being useful, I'm bored, and no one wants to tell me how to interact with society - probably because it's complicated and hard and society doesn't really benefit from interacting with me, it's better for everyone if I just lie down and never do anything again, except that it's a waste of space - but, man, I don't know, someone who has things they want to do being able to do those things because of me sounds kind of okay. If I can't do anything I can't do anything wrong. And, you know, I can't figure out how to get myself some fucking coffee in this fucking place and it sucks and I bet a Yeerk who was invested in my body being awake could do it. And maybe watching them wouldn't suck. And there wouldn't be all this... pretending like I'm supposed to make choices or something, I am so tired of being given enough rope to hang myself. I am so tired of misunderstandings, and at least I can't have any more of those if someone is reading my mind all the time. Not that I'd know everything but wouldn't it be a relief to only be wrong because I'm being deliberately lied to and someone is getting something out of it. But none of that matters because if they wanted me they could have said so instead of sending me to the horrible forest."

"...I'm going to get some coffee delivered here. Right now. How do you take it?"

"Black. ...Thank you."

"You're welcome." She does device things. "It'll be here in two minutes. Now, you seem to have a lot of misunderstandings. It seems plausible to me that you misunderstood something the Yeerks said or did as saying that you were an unsuitable host. It's possible that you are, but it seems likely that they didn't actually mean to tell you so at the time. If it sounds appealing, you can submit an application."

"Okay. It sounds less unappealing than everything else I can think of to do."

"When going home is possible are you going to want to leave any Yeerk you're matched with behind and go home?"

"Depends on if they suck less than that and if my friend is worried."

"Okay." She pulls up the Tide application form. "Do you want me to fill this in by asking you questions or do you prefer to fill it in and get clarification as needed?"

"...I don't have an opinion? No, I do. I bet if you're filling it out you'll understand it better and I won't know when I need clarification."

"Okay. Well, the first field is 'name', I'll put, uh, 'not applicable'..." There's a tap at the door. She gets up and goes to get his coffee from the delivery robot and hands it to him.

Coffee!!! He offers her the pathetically grateful and beatifically innocent smile he uses on people who give him food he can't eat when he's panhandling, which fades into genuine excited grinning at finally having coffee. He's already drinking it before it occurs to him that he could totally just say thanks out loud. Oh, well, now his mouth is otherwise occupied.

It's hot but not scalding and very high quality.

Nocawe fills in some forms, takes a picture of him. "It asks how many hours per typical day you would want to be in control of your body, at a guess."

"...That depends on if I somehow end up with something to do. Or if they count sleep, probably I can sleep if they drug me. I don't know, are there things I'm not thinking of that I'd want that for?"

"There are common things people in general want that for but it's possible that you are not one of them. You might want to, say, visit your friend while operating your own body?"

"Oh. ...I bet he'd really love an apartment. Then he could stop having me hang out not being asleep. I've just kind of been assuming since apartments are really easy to get here that if I could go there then I wouldn't need to do that. I could probably tell him about the situation anyway. Only I don't know anything about the situation. I could tell him after I disappeared I was miraculously healed, I guess."

"You could. Some people wouldn't want their Yeerk having this conversation with them."

"Having it like saying anything or having it like hearing it?"