"It's a place to start. Catch me if you can!" Off she zooms.

Is he the kind of Mary Sue that will definitely catch her? Probably not, he didn't take the powers that would bend in that direction with loved ones or whatever and they definitely wouldn't bend in that direction with a random witch mimic that has a special interest in witchcraft.

Anyway Addy can accelerate more than Peter can, it seems.

She circles back. "Me being better at it in some way like that often just means that being a vampire helps, but I'm not sure what I ought to think given how you are now slightly vampiric, how does that work?"

"So the way that that magic power works is that at any point I may discover a previously unknown heritage from any type of being I encounter, even if it makes no sense or contradicts previously-established descriptions of my family tree and even if this would not normally be a type of being that was interfertile with whatever other heritage I have. I get the powers without the drawbacks unless the drawbacks are cool and dramatic and any given visible features will appear at narratively appropriate moments and be cute, pretty, beautiful, or striking rather than weird, ugly, disgusting, or uncomfortable." He's not quite reciting it from heart but he almost is. "So today I discovered a previously unknown heritage from your kind of vampire, in which I get the immortality and nice skin and senses and strength and speed but not the forced downtime of sleep. I don't remember exactly how food works for hybrids? I know they can eat food but if there was anything about it not tasting nice or whatever I'm probably not going to have that issue either."

"They like their meat raw and they're really into eggs but they can have salad without this being a huge deal. I guess this is the first time anyone who already existed has started being a half-vampire, so it stands to reason this could, like starting to be a vampire, give you witchcraft... where did you come by this curious ability?"

"You're from an Earth, right, are you aware of Mary Sue fiction?"

"It's not really my genre, but yes."

"I'm also from an Earth and I got visited by a magic notebook offering me magic powers themed around being a Mary Sue. This particular one is called Dragon Fairy Elf Witch."

"How does one get in on that?"

"So I think you definitely can't while I'm around because that wouldn't make me very much of a Mary Sue, would it, if there were another? Or, well, there was actually an option while I was picking these powers for being able to run into another Mary Sue but I didn't pick it. But it's not impossible for the Spirit—uh, the power that gave me the notebook and the powers—to decide to choose you later, so long as you are, ah, open to being powerful and beautiful and special in a feminine way."

"Are you even a girl?"

"Complicated! Mostly not exactly. Not right now, anyway." Right now he's Astolfo. "But you don't need to be, you just need to be, oh I bet I can bend the medium to make this come off right to you, that sounds like something I should be able to do... You just need to be ✨open to the feminine✨! Did that come through?"

"How did you make that sound with your mouth? I don't think I could do that and I'm very good at impressions!"

"It's the genre. Or something. So when I said my magic so far is pretty meta, this is kind of what I mean, it's more about shaping the medium and the narrative around me. I picked powers that still allowed for some actually interesting stories but if someone wanted to just go ham on the they're super special nothing they ever do is wrong or goes wrong they are perfect and beautiful forever angle the notebook had options for that, too."

"That sounds so fun, I want one!"

"It's a lot of fun, yeah! I... don't know how likely you are to get one even after I'm gone, though. Probably more likely than you'd been until just before you met me? It'd be a pretty interesting, or at least kind of funny story, me leaving and you getting your very own notebook. And that's probably the sort of thing that matters, here. Oh, here, I want to check whether my thoughts about how this would work are right: am I anime?"

"You are striking in that direction but you have, like, hair follicles."

"Hmm, no, like, look really hard, especially at the edges between me and the world. Pay attention to your eyes and try to ignore what your brain was saying. At least it worked for me when I tried but maybe it'll turn out it only works for me."

"Okay, you're... fucking with my depth perception certainly. I'd think that would be uncomfortable but I suppose that wouldn't be very Mary Sue unless it made people really sorry for you."

"Oh excellent okay I'm glad you can see it too. So what happened here is that when I was choosing my powers and designing my femmesona in my head there was this specific anime character I was thinking of, and I didn't, like, particularly want to be him exactly but I think my powers or the Spirit thought it would be funny if I was. So I am. But not in a way where it matters. Unless it does.

"Sorry, I hope this isn't too uncomfortable for you."

"I'm mostly just fascinated and jealous."

"I probably can't rely on this because it would be really broken if I could but..." He looks at the camera. Or, well, given the medium, he looks through the screen. "Hey, author or uh authors I think it'd be really fun if sometimes people who met me also got the opportunity to become beautiful and powerful and special in a feminine way. ...well, you know, assuming this would all follow my narrative preferences, but we know that part."

? ??

"...sorry I don't expect this to work instantaneously. Just, it might be the kind of thing that would, you know? And I want to at least give it a shot. It would feel mean to rub it in like this and not do anything about it, even if it was an accident."

"I do appreciate the thought."