"Friendship is on the table, but don't touch my heart and my prick at the same time."

It's a spacious room, for a school dormitory. Lofted beds, desks underneath; some abstract art on the walls; window with a decent view of a garden. There's a little furniture item somewhere between an ottoman and a chaise-longue.

"Yes, sir!" No bathroom?

Nope, it's a communal situation.

Sounds like shenanigans.

"So, is showing me around a part of your roommately duties or am I going to need to go explore the grounds myself? I won't feel hurt if it's the latter."

"Oh, it's absolutely part of my duties! That's why I'm shirking it. Go bother Other Peter over in 25, he's a good lad who cares about all that nonsense. Also if possible get a picture of his face when he sees your outfit, I have a feeling it'll be fun."

"Oh, but that would be so mean, I don't even know him yet to know how much he enjoys boys being mean to him! I'll just have to memorize it and draw it for you latter."

"I assure you there's nothing he loves more - but that should do fine."

With that, Hywel collapses onto the chaise-longue and retrieves a slim volume of what, at a glance, seems to be lovingly illustrated Victorian erotica.

Peter is starting to think this is going to be a large ensemble cast kind of show. Book? Game? Who even knows.

Off to go pester Other Peter.

Other Peter's door is slightly open. He looks a few years older, senior to Hywel's freshman or sophomore, and he's currently putting away some tidily folded dress shirts. He looks up as Peter approaches. "Hullo, are you -"

bfxwhuh?

"Are you. Do you - can I help you??"

"Oh, Hywel was right, your face was delightful. Hi, I'm Peter! I'm a transfer student."

"I'm Peter as well, Peter Pevensie. Is Jenkins your roommate? God in Heaven, that'll be a nightmare... do you want a general tour, introduction to the other boys, um, directions to where you can pick up your uniform..."

"Yes to all of those! Hywel seemed charming enough on five minutes' acquaintance, though. Oh, and I'll go by Pete, people already called me that back home and I wouldn't want to make our audience too confused."

Pevensie, Pevensie, where has he heard this name before, it must be plot-relevant...

"Considerate of you - nobody calls me Pete because I'm the eldest of my brood, so it's a good solution. If anyone gets confused anyway I can start putting on diminutives like hats - Petrushka, maybe? Pedrinho? I'll workshop."

He starts rummaging for a map of the grounds.

"I think you are far too tall to be a Petrushka. Then again, I am far too fem to be a Peter, and yet here we are."

Pevensie, Pevensie, why does the name ring a bell, come on if he's in some fictional universe he knows about he wants to know what it is...

"First Lucy and Edmund, now complete strangers tell me I'm too tall. What's this world coming to."

The map is secured. Peter begins explaining the basic layout of the school, with particular attention to parts where things like food, or appropriate clothing, can be acquired.

IT'S THE KIDS FROM NARNIA HOLY SHIT

"Don't get me wrong, I don't think you're too tall in any objective sense, and certainly not too tall for me."

He's flirting? With Peter Pevensie???? One of the kings of Narnia?????? Is he an adult in a kid's body—well, not a kid, but still, weren't they, like, he doesn't even know, forty? Or something? When they left Narnia? And now he's, what late teens? Pete is really really not sure how to proceed, here, "run into the Narnia kids as young adults" was not something he particularly prepared for!!

"-and Lukas Hall's mostly for events, you might have a class there but generally it'll be some performance or another. Did you retain all that? After studying here almost a decade I think I know this place too well to remember what's confusing about the layout."

His brain catches up to what Pete said about his height. "That's good, as long as you don't get a crick in your neck looking at me."

How does he even bring the topic up??? "Hey, by the way, I know that you're one of the kings of Narnia." "Run into any interesting wardrobes lately?" "You know what this place is missing? A talking lion, is what." Especially, especially given that incredibly badly-concealed once-over Peter gave him, like, it had never occurred to him to wonder about the sexuality of Peter Pevensie of Narnia but that was not the kind of look a boy gives you if he's not at least a little bit attracted to you. Like, like, Peter Pevensie thinks he's hot and Peter Pevensie is like forty or maybe fifty, does that make him kind of sus, but on the other hand he's in the body of a much younger person, and on the most important hand this is fiction so Pete doesn't need to worry about the thorny issues of age gaps and power differentials and all that shit especially given that objectively speaking Pete is probably the most powerful person around.

Now that he's paying attention, it feels like Peter should look more like the actor than he does. Pete's not entirely sure, he doesn't remember the movies well enough and he thinks that actor was a lot less broad and the nose is definitely different, and maybe his memory is playing tricks on him, but he does think there's a resemblance.

And why did he start thinking about how well-built Peter is, now he is starting to have, what did Vivian call it, pants feelings, and he is not wearing pants. Thankfully getting an erection right now would count as an uninvited jiggle so he doesn't—it had not occurred to him as an application of the power but he'll take it—but it doesn't change the fact that now his brain has gone down a much more object-level road of being attracted to someone.

The part of his brain that is managing to keep track of social reality notes that Peter has given him such an opportunity to—he doesn't think it counts as "flirt", actually, the response that comes to mind is a lot closer to "proposition"—and he is not taking it because he doesn't want to ruin first impressions and because even though this is fiction it is also real life and actually if you shamelessly proposition cute boys that will most of the time kind of alienate you.

So what he says instead is, "I'm having a lot of trouble finding a way to reply to that that isn't at least a little bit flirtatious so please pretend I did anyway."

...okay in retrospect that was still kind of flirting but!!! He was running out of time to come up with something to say!!!!!!!!

"Thanks for the effort," Peter laughs. "You're not going to scare me off, I've got a maximum terror threshold and you hit it already with the miniskirt."

(Why did he say that now he's thinking about that goddamned miniskirt. And what's under it, he caught a glimpse of that too, and now he's blushing visibly.)