But. She hasn't been, has she? Is learning magic going to be what matters most, if time is short? When she can glance at a being of power and suddenly gain a substantial portion of its strength? When she could look at a Lord of Change and suddenly, she expects, completely eclipse anything she's learned on her own in a moment? If time is short, this isn't really what she should be doing. She should be making allies. She should be trying to get to the Exodar as quickly as possible to become half Naaru. She should be travelling and glancing at every scary thing on the continent and gaining a fraction of its power. No, learning magic is just easy. It's the obvious thing. The thing where she gets to feel the progress she's making. Where she doesn't need to take any big risks. Where she doesn't need to grapple quite so straightforwardly with the fear that all of this is fake.
She's been so lonely for so long. She doesn't want it to be fake. She wants Crin and Ishaza to be who they seem like they are. She wants them to be- the first people she's ever met that seem like they could be real friends of hers. Like they could understand. And maybe like they could be more. She wants that very much.