The Archbishop's eyes widen, slightly. It takes him a moment - but only a moment - to find the words.

"I apologize, then, for my presumption, Field Marsh..al. Cressida. I admit that I did think us allies, as we were last night, and in the years which led to it. But you owe me nothing."

Bluff: 1d20+25 = 6+25 = 31

Sense Motive: 1d20+20 = 20+20 = 40

And of course I roll a six where she rolls a natural fucking twenty.

Does Divine Interference work on opposed skill checks? ...It does not.

Well, he didn't venture much and he didn't lose much.

Right?

"I will always fight for the safety and well-being of the Korvosan people, and I count an ally anyone and everyone who's up to it. Archbishop, I won't go out of my way just to trim your nails, not when you need your claws for the shadows and the Worldeater. But I don't want to see Korvosa become infernal Cheliax. I would rather go to Hell than see it built on the bones of my home. And we've fought together before, and you deserve to know, so we can try for something else."

Sense Motive = 1d20+18 = 1+18 = 19

Huh. 

I guess she bought my story after all.

Okay, I want to consult the character model again.

I would also like for us to avoid wasteful conflict which serves neither of us, and I’m hopeful that we can. There hasn’t been a hot war between Lawful planes since the armies of Heaven glassed Avernus. 

I’m Lawful, you’re Lawful; what’s the point of that if we can’t preserve the domestic tranquility?

I find this tack reassuring as to your willingness to work with me, but the opposite of reassuring when it comes to my ability to work with you. We may be all of us commanded to surpass our gods, but I don’t think that I can improve on Their godtreaties in five literal minutes, and I have zero interest in writing in haste something which you can pick over at your leisure.

Would I have better luck avoiding analogies to full-on fiends and just emphasizing my personal character and our personal history? 

If you consider it luck to probe a character model until you can sidestep everything which would raise its hackles and zero in on its vulnerabilities, then yes, you’d have better luck.

Honestly, I much prefer it this way. There is an art to finding loopholes in things, and as you describe it is easier when you can read at leisure what was written in haste, but frankly I don’t see much leisure time in my future. No matter how hastily written the document, it’ll always be more constraining than a handshake; I love it when people let me imply that we have a deal when I’ve committed to no such thing, or when they avoid nailing down exactly what it is we’ve promised each other because it’d be socially awkward: it preserves option-value.

Hell is a fluid and unfounded hope its container; it expands to fill the space you give it.

New tack, from the top: 

I would also like for us to avoid wasteful conflict which serves neither of us, and I’m hopeful that we can. I’ve been the Archbishop of Varisia for a quarter of a century. You spent five years as Field Marshall. In all the time you’ve known me, have I ever offered an agent of the monarchy anything short of my total cooperation? Have I ever shortchanged you? Or instead have I gone as far as to return you your unseaworthy contracts marred not with a signature but rather red editor’s ink, so you could tighten the wording before I would in good conscience sign them? 

I’m Lawful, you’re Lawful, you know me to be reputable, I know you to be reputable; what’s the point of all of this if we can’t preserve the domestic tranquility? 

Your man Esuper once told me that dying with a reputation for honest dealing is like dying with money in the bank.

I’m not Esuper.

Because you’re more scrupulously honest than he is, right.

That’s the reason you’d never voice the sentiment. 

...

Right now we’re at an impasse because while neither of us want everyone in the Vault to turn into a shadow, you serve a master who wants everyone in the Vault to burn in Hell. 

My preference ordering is Kroft’s Absolute Dream World > Shadows > Reeb’s Dream World, where your preference ordering is Reeb’s Dream World > Kroft’s Dream World > Shadows.

If what happens by default is everyone turning into a shadow, we can fight together, but if I in doing so make it any more likely that everyone burns in Hell or you make it less likely that everyone burns in Hell, those are no bueno. From my perspective it feels like we’re leaving money on the table, because we’d like to pull for Kroft’s Dream World, but there’s nothing to keep you honest. Even if we wrote up a contract with some kind of penalty clause for handing Korvosa - or Golarion - over to Hell, you’d still do it, right? The prize is too juicy.

I don’t want to leave value on the table any more than you do! What if we called an inevitable to arbitrate? I can get LNs with lesser planar ally, or Zenderholm could if she has the slots? Although these things do trade against our extremely limited death wards...  

Oh. Hmm. If you say something which reminds me that you’re planning to call a planar ally, that’s the kind of thing I agonize over for somewhat less time than the 15 minutes it’d take you to prepare the spell and the 10 minutes you’ll need to cast it.

And then I’d start the fight which ends with most of us in the Abyss. 

You would kill me - murder me - simply for calling a devil, which is not only legal in Korvosa but commonplace??

That's pretty much the shape of it.

I thought you were Lawful.

The Kroft model says that’s not a point of pressure: I’ll do my duty to Korvosa whether doing so is Lawful or whether it is not. 

What terrible catastrophe do you expect out of a 6HD fiend?? Hell offered us material aid. I’m hoping for food in a Bag of Holding! Maybe magic items!

Sure, a Bag of Holding, and in it could be twenty-four fiends ranging from 6 HD to 16. They’d have greater invisibility, of course, and under a communal mind blank that would last an hour. Togomor and Toff would fall in the first combat round, before we were aware: fear to Panic them for -2 on Will saves and the safety of knowing they won’t fight back, massed greater dispel magic to strip their defenses, dimensional anchor so they can’t run, Dirty Trick combat maneuvers to inflict the Sickened condition, enervation to drain levels, dominate person for the finish, and something from the teleportation subschool so we can’t flip the wizards back before their initiative.

The second round would be cleanup.

But why would they even do that??