ridiculous premise #76
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"That sounds good. I don't think you need to worry about me? This is tough but - I'm not going to stop doing it. I'm not even going to want to stop doing it. And I'm going to be okay eventually, even if it's not until after we've shot everyone who's trying to mess with me."

 

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"Mmm. You're not sleeping, making it by on magical metaphorical coffee, even if we find a solution here you're scared they'll find something else - I think if I were you I'd find it very satisfying, knowing Abby is making her wizards waste a teleport every day to give me bad dreams, but also I'd be worried they'd escalate to something worse… I feel like you're having a hard enough time here that I'm allowed to worry about you. Even if you can keep powering through it, even if you'll be okay eventually. I care about you and I care about you being okay now even when that doesn't make sense as a strategic priority."

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Lean. "I guess you are allowed to worry about me. I'd sure worry if it was you. We should ask someone about whether sleeping in the day will help, and about whether there's anything else they can do even if it's expensive, at least occasionally. Also someone - which means you, as I haven't done great at making any other friends - should appreciate how even though I am in a very bad mood I have picked no fights with our allies at all."

 

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"You've done wonderfully at not picking fights. Iomedae-the-paladin has been very subdued and even though I'm worried about her I appreciate immensely that the only fights we get into with our allies are when I decide to pick them."

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"I don't even know that I disagree with Lastwall's people about sex and marriage and family but it really seems very wise to not find out."

 

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"Well, they don't think it's evil that we're sleeping together, but I bet they'd be pretty confused at least if we announced an intention to marry. Maybe not if I were a real wizard first."

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"I would feel a little silly telling people we meant to marry if you weren't a wizard, it'd feel a bit like we were pretending. It's different in America where lots of marriages are childless but here - it's not how you'd say ‘we have promised to stay together' -"

 

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"Mhmmm. Wizard or no I bet we'd still shock the Lastwallers. I wonder if any of them are married."

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"I bet you the men are and the women are not. For a man it makes a career easier, to have a wife. And it'd in fact be very stupid to have all your most impressive people childless…. Cansellarion might be unmarried. I think a reasonable person whose plan for their life is to take down House Thrune would probably not risk it, if they thought they could bear to live alone. My worst nightmares that aren't sent by Evil wizards are of Abrogail learning about you."

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"Mmm. I'm not looking forward to it, for sure. She doesn't have a wish to spend on it, though."

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Iomedae smiles, tiredly. "She doesn't. Sucks to be Abrogail Thrune."

 

 

 

 


 

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The easiest way to infiltrate Freedom Radio is obviously to get invited to be on Freedom Radio, and so Cheliax seriously contemplates ways to do that. They could have a fake defector start their own radio channel, exposing Chelish secrets in a way that appeals to Freedom, until she invites him on her show, but it's a plan that involves further embarrassment for them if it fails and for a while even if it succeeds. Also they're kind of worried that on exposure to Freedom fake defectors will defect for real. Lilia's been asked to produce a list of candidates for Abrogail, and she grudgingly does so even though she resents every minute spent thinking about the radio brat. 

Eventually she proposes allowing the rescue of one of the people captured in the same Wish that failed to get Freedom, who Freedom will of course find irresistible to interview as she can confirm Freedom's story, and implanting a shrunken imp inside her abdomen which should be separately possible to Discern Location on. Abrogail approves. Lilia leaks the information about when Andira Marusek will be in transit for the execution and malediction and tips someone off that a rescue would go well. If the forces of Good don't bite they'll legitimately kill and maledict her and try again with another. She's hopeful they'll bite, though. The tip only has to be good enough for them to ask Iomedae; She can't see that far ahead, any more, and will probably be able to correctly tell them they can get the woman out safely and not able to tell whether, should she eventually appear on the radio, she'll lead them to Freedom. And the forces of Good get so worked up about their people being sent to Hell.

 

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Also around then, the Legend Lore they commenced four weeks earlier finishes. Lilia'd been expecting it not to work, as the little brat isn't a figure of any importance, but that meant that if it did work, it'd be notable - and the wizard says he got a bunch of visions of Iomedae and the Shining Crusade, plus some of unfamiliar foreign lands. Which is…confusing and not very helpful, as you'd expect from a Legend Lore on a person you know very little about. Iomedae was among their top guesses for who the brat was a priest of. This result probably means paladin and not priest, which also explains how she beat the Wish - even forewarned, it would be tricky for most people who aren't very powerful - and, frankly, is more consistent with the girl's identifiable strengths (splendour) and weaknesses (tendency to bait Abrogail Thrune, not a trait widely identified with wisdom). 

 

 

The Legend Lore result probably also means that someone's planning to declare a crusade against Cheliax soon. Abrogail announces that if they do that, she'll simply pull nearly everyone off the Worldwound, and needs her people to give her a plan which walks the narrow line ‘make the Worldwound much harder for Mendev and Lastwall to hold, but in a way that won't actually result in the whole world being overrun by demons unless Lastwall subsequently fucks up and Iomedae fails to bail them out'. (Mendev fucking up is taken for granted and considered a plus). Surveillance and assassination of Cansellarion and Codwin gets elevated in priority, because if the Church of Iomedae declares a crusade it'll probably be them leading it.

 

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Lilia orders the prisoner moved and watches and waits to see if Good bites. (They keep her under a Malediction for the whole window of opportunity so they'll have to bite with an actual rescue and not just a mercy killing.)

 

 


 

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The problem is, even when you have a lot of information, extractions from Cheliax are risky and reasonably often traps. Cansellarion regretfully doesn't bite. He cannot afford to risk it right now.

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Codwin doesn't bite; Andoran is mobilizing but doesn't want to be baited into starting the war on Cheliax's terms and that's what this obviously is.

 

 

 

Unfortunately for him, Codwin does not actually have the ability to decide policy in a way that means that everyone in Andoran will follow it. Marusek is well-loved by her Eagle Knights and when Codwin tells them there'll be no rescue they arrange one themselves, and pull it off in spectacular style, Teleporting with their insensate prisoner right into Andoran's largest cathedral to get her Healed on the spot. There is an immediate parade. Everyone loves the story that Codwin said it was too dangerous and then they did it anyway; that's the stuff of amazing stories.

 

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Lilia is probably only the second most smug person in Avistan about this, after the Eagle Knight who organized the operation. She waits for Freedom Radio to issue the world's most obvious invitation.

 

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Freedom Radio does this as soon as they hear the news! Iomedae obviously feels terrible about the fact she nearly got this woman condemned to Hell and did get her tortured horribly, and quite aside from that they should really have a good meaty episode on abolition soon anyway. She has no idea if Marusek is up for it, but if she is, it's all hers.

 

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Andira Marusek, it happens, has not been tortured too horribly to appear on a radio show. Good fortune, that. She doesn't really want to talk about her week in Cheliax, but she'd be happy to talk about what they'll do with the place once they overthrow its current leadership, and she'd be happy to talk about slavery.

 

 

 

 


 

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            "Recording Room, Fifth Floor, Castle Overwatch, Vigil."

"Huh. Fits the Legend Lore, I suppose."

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"I thought they'd agreed not to pick fights with us. Can we get them for breaking their paladin rules?" Abrogail is frowning at the map, presumably calculating how many people she'd have to piss off to invade Lastwall. (Molthune, and Nirmathas, unless they're doing it over Lake Encarthan through Druma, and that supply line runs riskily close to the front in Druma…)

 

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"Neutral in the Chelish Civil War, and not hosting its combatants. They'll say the girl is not a combatant in the Chelish Civil War but a commentator on it and no one could possibly expect them to stop people from saying mean things about the Thrunes."

 

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"Fine. If we conduct a raid for her, what're they going to do in response, they're very busy -"

            "That scares a lot of people we don't want to scare. And gets them out of their declared neutrality."

"Can we pay Razmir to do it?"

            "Hasn't been interested, your majesty," says the Queen's international affairs advisor

"Get him interested."

           "Yes, your majesty."

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Everyone will still know it's you, your majesty, there's no strategic reason to go after this girl except because she's undercutting your regime. She's avoided saying mean things about Razmir, probably for the obvious reason. Lilia does not say this. 

"Even Razmir may not be able to," Lilia says, reluctantly. "Arazni built that fortress."

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"- can we pay Arazni to take it down?"

 

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