ridiculous premise #76
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Well, Alfirin can't deny that that's a surprising thing.

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Iomedae is frowning at Nefreti and at Cansellarion. "...does being resurrected always come with knowing who resurrected you and which god they serve?"

 

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"Yes, you always know the caster and the god that granted the spell."

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"What if no god granted the spell?"

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"...Well, then it wouldn't be happening? Wizards can't do that - except Nefreti who does it because she's a cleric too."

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"Wizards can use a Limited Wish," says Nefreti, "and druids can do it, though you mustn't tell them I said so. And in that case you don't learn the god, as there is none."

 

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"....right," says Iomedae. "...I propose that I kill myself again and you have a Lawful Good priest of Iomedae raise me, if there's really such a thing, and then I'll know that it's at least true there's a Lawful Good goddess Iomedae. I will tell you enough to pay for the resurrection in advance, though."

 

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"Wait, don't yet - what if you get raised on another planet first?" Alfirin does not want to be alone in this bewildering future Golarion either and also doesn't exactly want to chase Iomedae across time with repeated suicides.

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Iomedae pauses to consider the conundrum. "I don't think that's how that works but if it is then it's...probably good, on the whole...Maybe we could give each world a short briefing before being off again."

 

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Alfirin switches to English "But I thought you wanted to check that these people are who they say they are before telling them things that could help them take over the planet."

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"I do want to do that," Iomedae says. "But if it's impossible, then I think that just means we shouldn't explain guns, and we should probably explain nitrogen fixation and smallpox inoculation and penicillin to everyone, and hope that things get kind of backwardsedly better like they are in America? I haven't thought about this very carefully yet, I was expecting to be raised by Aroden's high priest and trust Him because He's Aroden's high priest. I don't know, what do you think we should do?"

 

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"Um - is there any way to test without dying? We could - I don't know. Maybe you're right and we should explain those things and then you can try dying and if they don't get you right back I'll do it too. But if there's any other way to check while alive we could do that instead."

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"I bet there are other ways to check, I just don't know what they are because I don't actually know very much about magic. And since Aroden's  - dead - I can't even count on that He'd strip me of my powers if I was accidentally helping the Asmodeans who are apparently ruling Taldor from Colorado all the way to California."

 

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"Yeah. Can Evil gods make paladins? If Goddess Iomedae makes you a paladin again, would that mean she's real and not Asmodeus being tricky?"

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"I don't know," says Iomedae thoughtfully. "...I would bet that Evil gods cannot make paladins, because paladins fall if they ever do Evil things, and serving an Evil god is an Evil thing."

 

 

 


 

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Iomedae only under extraordinary circumstances makes a paladin of someone who does not know Her and does not trust Her. For most people, it is a healthier journey, to satisfy oneself about a god and then enter their service, to know what they think a paladin is before you become one.

 

On top of that, a soul like the teenage girl Iomedae is one that you would definitely want to make a paladin of but with some caution about the surrounding situation so that the baby paladin does not hare off in a wildly unproductive direction, as baby paladins who are obsessed with personally solving all the problems in the world often do.

 

But 'I'd like to be a paladin so I can get credible communication about whether I'm giving extremely powerful weapons to the right people' is not, in the end, not an Iomedaen prayer.

 

 

 

All of Aroden's former servants are cheap to take up; it's reaching out with the part of Her that is shaped like a part of Him, and holding it up to one of the trillion cracks Aroden's death left in the world.

 


 

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Iomedae startles and makes a face. "Well, She did do that so now I guess we have to decide if it's good enough," she says to Alfirin in English.

 

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"...Well I was about to say that maybe Evil gods make Evil paladins who are allowed to do Evil things…but…not Good ones? If they're symmetric? So you should…do something nice. For science."

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Iomedae hugs her tightly. For science.

 

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Aww, that's nice. "...Still empowered?"

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"I seem to be." - she turns apologetically back to the fancy knight. "Okay, sorry, we decided we believe you."

 

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"I'm glad - I'm sure you'll want to check more, later, or before you teach us about weapons, historical Iomedae spent a long time checking if Aroden was what He said He was. Do you want to go to Vigil now or not yet?"

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"How far is it?" It's absolutely not worth inventing airplanes so they can arrive in Vigil by airplane but Iomedae 1) knows how and 2) wants to.

 

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"I don't know exactly. Two teleports, so - more than a thousand miles, less than two thousand?"

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Aroden could teleport, but from Iomedae's knowledge of the world it is one of those things Aroden can do, not one of those things normal people can do. "You can teleport?"

 

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