So they go to the cafeteria and Dylan spends a guest pass on him. "Most grad students don't even use this but I'm shit at cooking and keep accidentally putting spoons in the microwave."

"I don't know very much about how to cook, the servants did that and some of the servants liked answering my questions about what they did and some didn't. What's bad about putting spoons in the microwave -"

"You can't put metal in microwaves, it catches fire and then the microwave doesn't work."

"Huh."

"Yeah. So cafeteria, which is, uh, sort of like having servants I guess but don't call them that."

"Okay. Why?"

"Uh, the connotations are wrong. Also they don't work for you they work for the university."

"Does this place even have a King?"

"The United States has a President. We used to be colonies of the British but then we had a revolutionary war called, uh, The Revolutionary War, and got rid of the British. The British have a Parliament but also still have a vestigial monarchy but the monarch is a Queen right now."

"And the Hapsburgs all died of random horrible things, I read about it."

"I don't remember anything about the Hapsburgs so I'll have to take your word for it."

"It was a depressing book - hundreds of years of miscellaneous atrocities and not a single character survived from the start to the finish to even learn from them - but it was enlightening."

"Well, I mean, even if they hadn't been dying of random horrible things they wouldn't've lived centuries."

"...no?"

"Lemme guess, Elves're immortal."

"No, we can die of stuff. If we get stabbed or starved or imprisoned or whatever."

"But not of old age, I mean."

" - no."

"Humans, uh, do that. My grandma died when she was eighty-three of old age, I dunno what the average is..."

"Eru. Just - what even happens -"

"She had Alzheimers but people get heart attacks or strokes or whatever, it's always something."

"I bet I can fix that."

"...that'd be neat."

Nod. "Reembodying your dead I wouldn't know where to start with but keeping you from slowly falling apart - or at least making it much much slower - it'd take Years and Years but I could."

"Well, that'll, uh, be nice for whoever's alive by then. Go for it."