"That is not what I'm worried about, but that's also a later topic... I do not believe you owe me anything."

"...I am tempted to respond to that by arguing about ethics because I enjoy that, but I have been trying not to do that around you because I have believed you find it uncomfortable or upsetting or - close to intimacy - because it probably is -"

They've been doing so well, Ramona's only job has been to stay out of the way. But now they're getting a little off track.

Good to know, though, if arguing about ethics is one of their couple-hobbies!

"Iomedae, you said before that you were surprised when it turned out that Alfirin still thinks highly of you and might still be in love with you. I would like to figure out why that was a surprise. What did you previously believe and why did you believe that?"

"I thought that Alfirin disliked me and was tolerating me for the sake of our shared cause. I thought this because - well, because I think I treated her poorly, in a way that hurt her, and because after she came back she was distant with - me, and all of our other old friends, except Arazni - and because her familiar profoundly dislikes me and familiars usually take after their masters, and because in the alternate timeline she leaves the instant the war ends, which I thought was because she didn't want to be around me. And she dislikes paladins. And Lawful Good people. And gods. So it seemed a bit overdetermined, really."

Ramona has an unreasonable urge to laugh, but that doesn't seem appropriate.

"It makes sense that you were confused, given all of that!"

"Alfirin?"

"That seems like a reasonable conclusion to have drawn given those facts, which are all true. I... was not trying to give you that particular false impression, but I was trying to avoid making my feelings apparent for the reasons I mentioned before, and I may have overcorrected." For a fleeting moment she is inclined to smile and say that she apparently errs predictably in that direction, but that seems - too much -

"Do you like Iomedae despite her being a paladin who's working on becoming a god, or because of those things?"

"That's... complicated. I like her for traits which seem to almost necessarily lead to her becoming a god in the world we live in. I like her for some of the traits she has in common with other paladins and for lacking some of the traits that are common in paladins."

"I'm not sure I've correctly guessed what a 'familiar' is, but is there any explanation for why your familiar doesn't like her, or is it just... luck?"

"Curiosity is irrationally inclined to take my side in all things, and thinks that me being hurt after the breakup was entirely Iomedae's fault and not something that I had any responsibility for. And I did not treat him as well as he deserved, in that time, and he blames her for that too."

Ramona blinks for a second, trying to parse that, before she realizes that Curiosity must be the name of the familiar.

"There's one more thing I still wonder, though it may be a little off topic. What typical paladin traits does Iomedae lack?"

"Hm. I've never had to describe it to someone without the cultural context before, it's - a certain - narrowness of thought, conviction of their own rightness, unthinking devotion to their god, an obsession with - doing things the paladin way, regardless of whether or not the paladin way works. Or, that's the stereotype at least, how much it fits any individual paladin varies."

Iomedae has a take on this but apparently they're not supposed to get distracted in relationship therapy by interesting ethics conversations. She will refrain.

"Iomedae, do you recognize yourself in that description? And did you know Alfirin liked that about you?"

Ramona is using a narrative therapy technique called 'thickening,' in which you take a 'thin' description of a feeling and get the client to fill in a lot more detail until it becomes richer, more nuanced, and more meaningful. Iomedae might let Alfirin's love sink in a little more if she understands it better and finds it more credible.

"It's not precisely how I frame it internally but - yes. I think Alfirin likes it when people know what they want and have surrendered very little of their capacity for pursuing it or their sense of authority over it, and many paladins attempt in their pursuit of virtue the renunciation of that. That is a fine way to do all right and a bad way to fix all of Creation, and therefore unappealing once you've noticed you've got to fix all of Creation. I knew Alfirin at one point liked that about me, though being - the way I am - also has disadvantages which I think are fairly salient to her..."

"Would you like to try to talk her out of admiring and loving you?"

 "...do you want to be talked out of admiring and loving me?"

"Would it be convenient for you if I were?

...Do you think you could?"

"It seems like it would be totally indefensible to talk people out of loving me for my own convenience, and I would not want to do so at all! I am totally unaware of any tactics to achieve that but it's not as if I've spent a lot of time trying to learn how to do it and if you want me to try it seems possible Ramona knows some, given that she asked! Though plausibly we should first have the conversation about how I feel about you if what you want here is at all contingent on that."

She doesn't know what she wants. She is trying not to want particular outcomes from relationship counseling besides Arazni being saved, which isn't hard because there aren't many outcomes she can imagine endorsedly wanting.

...She probably does not want to be talked out of admiring Iomedae, though, even if it could be done, which she doubts. "I think I don't want to be talked out of admiring and loving you but if there are techniques for that it seems that it might be good to learn those in case there are future problems that are best solved that way."

Alfirin! Skills for learning to fall out of love with Iomedae are almost certainly not what Shelyn, Goddess of love, sent you here to learn!

Though possibly Ramona should be glad that one of these clients finally developed something like a goal for therapy.

"I do sometimes help people figure out how to get over their feelings for others. It feels a little... out of place with the work we are currently doing, though? If it doesn't feel urgent, I'd like to defer that conversation until we've uncovered more of what's going on between you two. Does that work for you?"

"Yes."

"That's fine with me." She is relieved. It turns out she does not want Alfirin to fall out of love with her, not that she considers it any of her business. 

"Thanks for your patience! I'll check back with you later about that question." Ramona makes a note so she doesn't forget, because she might be tempted to forget.

"So, to recap this topic: Alfirin still admires Iomedae and is in love with her, and Iomedae was quite surprised to learn this, for several quite defensible reasons. Alfirin had been... not necessarily hiding her feelings, but refraining from volunteering them, also for defensible reasons. When we explored why Alfirin loves Iomedae, it mostly made sense even to Iomedae, I think?"

"And then we checked, and it turns out neither of you wants to work on undoing those feelings at this time, if that's even possible."

"What did I get wrong, if anything?"

"I think that's correct."