"...American womans is like birds?"

Oh no this is the most awkward impromptu sex ed lesson that Evelyn has ever had to give, even aside from the part where she's juggling a separate and MORE awkward conversation with Iomedae about Biblical interpretation and homosexuality. Aaaaaaaaah.

"...I think American women are like women everywhere else?" she says to Alfirin. "The eggs are - inside, they don't have shells - they're tiny, you can't even see them, it's not really like birds' eggs at all but we use the same word. But doctors can take them out of a woman and grow them with a man's sperm in a -" they won't know the word for 'test tube', "- dish. That's very clean. And then put the - very very tiny baby - into a different woman, to grow into a baby."

Evelyn hates her life right now, and also it's already 3:12 and Lily will be home any minute and this is not an okay place to pause this– to pause either of these conversations. 

"How many people doing this thing they maybe go to Hell for, not knowing if go to Hell for it or no? Because I can check - I can marry a woman, and see if God make me no a holy warrior.

But then I maybe go to Hell so I only should do it if lots of people not knowing and lots of people doing it even not knowing if you go to Hell for it or not, and if I could make them know. More than I could save being a holy warrior, because I do not think you can get God forgive a married, you are still doing the married."

(Aaaaaaaahhhh???!!!) 

"I guess that's a way you could test it," Evelyn hears herself say. "I - really don't think it's a good idea, marrying someone is - serious - I don't know if God would count it is it were - for a," joke, prank, "- for a test." 

Also, what, does Iomedae think God would personally tell her if she wasn't meeting the Joan of Arc standard– this is a stupid line of thought -

"Anyway, in Nevada you have to be 18 to get married, so it's not a test you could run now." 

"Everyone a child until eighteen years, no get married before eighteen years."

"Marrying someone is very serious and God making me no a holy warrior is even more serious and going to Hell is even more serious than that! But also serious if happens to other people because no one here knows how to talk to God!"

(Evelyn can't actually remember off the top of her head whether other states allow marriage before age 18 but she's definitely not going to mention that right now.) 

"- Iomedae, I know this is serious to you but - it's been serious for years and years, right, before you even got here? ....We can talk about it later. Lily is getting home really soon, and Emily will be over with her girlfriend in about an hour, and - I think you can ask Emily questions about God, if you want, though as far as I know she doesn't go to church, but I don't want you to upset her. And - nothing is any more urgent or an emergency than it was before you lived with me, right?" 

Evelyn isn't sure if Iomedae knows the important words here, but it feels like she has to try to say it. 

"I am not going to do a plan where I maybe go to Hell when I haven't even read the English holy books yet. And - I can only check one thing, this way. Maybe there is a thing even more important to check."

Evelyn is continuing to handle this disastrously, she's pretty sure.

(...Evelyn really wants a day at the spa, which is not usually a feeling that comes up in the middle of a conversation with a foster child, but - maybe it makes sense, here. She's so tired of being on edge and walking on eggshells and feeling like she has to get every word right because she's failing Iomedae - and Alfirin, and actually she maybe feels more like she's failing Alfirin due to continually slightly forgetting she exists and focusing on Iomedae because Iomedae is more talkative -) 

...She should focus. 

"Yeah, I agree," Evelyn says. "I think - for most of the questions you have, learning English and reading more books is important, yeah?" 

"Yes."

"Yes." Actually, the most important thing to look up is why no one can just send petitions to Aroden's priesthood in Taldor. If it's possible to travel it'd be worth doing for the word of God.

Evelyn is, again, pretty sure that there is some kind of - not miscommunication, exactly - something that Alfirin and Iomedae agree on, that Evelyn doesn't entirely follow and that is probably complicatedly wrong. 

Ugh. 

...And that's the sound of a school bus pulling up, which is a great excuse to flee this conversation and go hug Lily after her day at school. 

Lily's hair is messy in the way that means she probably had at least one meltdown at school today. The teacher must have handled it, since Evelyn didn't get a call or notice any missed calls. 

...Lily only wants a very brief hug from Mummy, and then she wants to run through and make sure Iomedae is still here and have a proper hug from her big sister. 

Iomedae will hug her. "How school, Lily?"

...Lily doesn't really want to talk about school. She wants to drag Iomedae over to the living room and play with Barbies. Who will have a family argument. 

Evelyn isn't going to step in and interfere with this, but - does Alfirin seem to be doing okay? (Under more normal circumstances, this might seem like a good moment to have a private conversation with Alfirin, but Evelyn is pretty unclear on how much ability to communicate they have when Iomedae isn't right there translating.)

Alfirin is about as okay as she's been since she arrived. She's quiet, but she's usually pretty quiet. She's studying Evelyn to see if the conversation is over and she should go back to the English worksheets.

This particular conversation is over! Evelyn will smile reassuringly at Alfirin and try to indicate that it's fine for her to go back to her worksheets. 

(It's much harder to get a read on Alfirin than it was with Iomedae, who is - well, outspoken and makes her opinions known to the point that Evelyn keeps finding herself too exhausted to keep being emotionally available, and/or keep having the conversation at all. Though, you know, overall Evelyn feels like maybe that pattern is not one that results in her getting to know Iomedae the way she should.)

Alfirin will smile back and go back to her worksheets. Speaking English is still kind of tiring and she wants a break from it before she has to meet a new person and speak English more.

Grandpa not-even-a-real-Barbie is currently buried under a pile of books on the shelf, because Mummy made Lily take him out of the Lego duffel bag since he's not technically a Lego.

(Lily was fine with that. He doesn't DESERVE to be a Lego. Lego is GOOD and God likes Lego and Lily thinks - hopes - that God does not like Grandpa.) 

....Lily is going to dig him out from under the books, and shove a jointed artist's-model wooden doll with Sharpie all over it at Iomedae. "G'apa bad! Y - G'd - FI'hm?" 

*"Grandpa is bad! You or God fight him?"

"Well, depend what kind of bad he is. If he a bad person in this world, Iomedae fight him. If he a bad god, God fight him."

That's a surprisingly upsetting question. Lily starts crying and gloms herself onto Iomedae. 

"NO'a god," she manages. 

Pat pat. "Fighting bad people is for holy warriors like me."

"....'kay." Snuggle hug. 

Even though Lily is very upset, right now, she's thinking that - probably her big sister needs to know where to go, to fight Grandpa? She will try to say the address very clearly even though talking is so hard. 

"He'iv'at - a - 'ive too s'vn a - a C-r-a....a'c'ampton s'eet."

*He lives at 527 Crampton Street.

....Since Alfirin seems to be fine right now with her worksheets, Evelyn is going to wander her way over to the living room and make sure Iomedae and Lily are okay? 

(Mental note, she should keep track of how long Iomedae plays with Lily and remember to pay her for babysitting...and also, like, remember to have a conversation later about when she should expect to be babysitting and get paid for it...)