"So it looks like we're going to consider your moral alignment next. If you're found to be Neutral or Evil, do you have a preference for your systemic alignment? Once my own alignment is ruled out, I'll be allowed to argue for whatever you prefer."

"Your Honor, may I proselytize now that your court is in recess?"

"Yeah, sure. Don't interrupt me again, I'm going to start scrying now."

"Please leave me alone. Both of you." He curls up with his arms over his head.

The agathion says nothing and immediately slithers over to the Elysium desk, climbs up the leg, and looks at the azata's notes.

"I know this is unpleasant, but it's important.

Your beliefs about Hell, from what I skimmed in the brief, are mostly accurate, but irrelevant for you. You got very lucky by accidentally meeting the requirements to belong to my god, Marra. She's new and obscure and much cooler than Asmodeus, who rules most of Hell, the parts you've heard of. She will let you keep almost everything you like about yourself, and as much of your memory as the average angel or agathion keeps.

Asmodeus only lets people be happy in narrow ways, which in practice means that devils are usually miserable. Marra is indifferent to most happiness and actively in favor of vanity. Also, once you definitely belong to Her, She will make sure you succeed at becoming something awesome.

The Abyss is worse than you think. You can't just 'wander forever in the dark'; it's eat or be eaten, and both are unpleasant. You might find a demon lord to follow who will protect you and make you awesome, but probably not. You might obtain followers of your own who you can shape to be awesome, like your mice, but almost certainly not. Marra can give you a guarantee on both.

If you agree to push for Law, if you're found to be Evil, then if Evil is ruled out I'll argue for your preferred systemic alignment." (Normally she has a duty to argue for Law then, but she's choosing to prioritize the duty of winning outright, which is allowed. In the unlikely case that she's making a mistake, she might be punished for it later, but fairly, in a way which teaches her how to think better and serve Marra better.) "I can read your mind if I touch you, to verify your agreement and learn your preferences - it's slightly better to keep them secret."

"Don't touch me."

The bailiff spreads a wing between them.

Victor Malosloff startles, gaping at the winged skeleton, which apparently he had forgotten was lurking behind him.

Kireh's 14 Splendor is enough for her to know that she's not going to get any further in this conversation!

She ambles over to eavesdrop on the plant-snake and the snake-snake.

Glare

"...which means the decedent was a slave of the mice. Tricky little creatures. Of course the paladin knew that but was oath-bound - can I help you?"

"Yes, actually. I promised to argue for the decedent's preferred systemic alignment if he's not Evil, but I don't know his preference. Of course, I'll tell you if I find out first."

"Agreed.

The paladin was oath-bound not to say, but Malosloff was blackmailing her to break her oath. Normally that would be Chaotic and Evil, but since she was secretly a bard and kept Modify Memory-ing him..."

With nothing else to do here, she asks the clerk to have her dismissed early.

(Yeah, there's been a clerk unobtrusively taking notes this whole time.)

The clerk leaves, and a few minutes later -

- she's back in Stonepeak, in the Marran library. The window shows swirling snow and the distant glow of Avernus.

Kireh's first duty is to check on her charges.

One ex-angel is still out flying in the storm meditating. The others are doing fine. The ex-axiomite has questions but they can wait.

The petitioners need more work. She spends five minutes with each, talking and occasionally listening to their thoughts (which she can do at will, but intruding on a person's thoughts too much distorts them). The infant silently clings to Kireh's fur. The new arrival is still being punished. Kireh holds her and tells her how it's almost over, just a few days more, and then she'll never be punished for anything from her mortal life ever again and she's going to be so so awesome.

And then, baby still attached, to the library!

The Marran library does not have a large legal section.

She can only find one reference to Asmodeus vs Erastil undated, in a book from five centuries ago. According to Beyond the Boneyard Basics: 216 MORE standard citations:

Asmodeus vs Erastil (no date). Farm animals are not slaves. FUN fact: this case was decided by Pharasma Herself while the world was so young that time didn't exist!

Great, so probably the actual ruling is in god-concepts she's literally incapable of containing in her mind. The book doesn't mention 'conditions better than natural', the quote the agathion gave. Also, he said 'is not Evil' not 'is not slavery'.

Do the stone giants have anything better?

The stone giants do not have any books on soul-court law at all.

She flags down the meditating ex-angel and sends him to the main camp to request use of the wand of Planar Inquiry. (He wants to be a Sietaziz Marrenai, so flying though the storm with genuinely urgent orders is good for him.)

She wants to spend how much on this case? Ohhh, wow, yeah the budget is pretty large then. (Queue looking into getting some better books so we don't have to use a Planar Inquiry in the future. Blocking task: estimate budget for books. Actually delay all of that until after this case is resolved and Kireh can be consulted.)

She summons an Arbiter Inevitable. They negotiate payment of:

• 6 songs, an ocarina, a tapestry, and a book of math puzzles
• An IOU of sexual favors
• Some ordinary gold pieces
• And the rest in "I'll have my god talk to your god"

"Okay, so the ruling was made before the legal term 'slavery' was defined, but obviously that's what it was about, from dicta as early as -5305: not hurting animals, but keeping them. In -4002, Nirvana vs S'aBatu officially clarified this: One, the Evil referred to by Asmodeus vs Erastil is in fact 'slavery'. Two, that in order to apply, the conditions of the animals must be 'better than natural'. Three, that physically containing animals is not relevant, but 'controlling them as possessions'. Hell vs Pech -4002, a day later, further stated that 'controlling them as possessions' means concrete actions, real or near hypothetical, to control the animals, and thoughts related to those actions. Other thoughts are not relevant, nor are thoughts or actions about controlling as possessions beings which are not farm animals."

"The reason the conditions have to be 'better than natural', not merely as good as natural, was because the judge considered it impossible to precisely know the quality of life of another being and so any claim of exact equality is suspicious. With modern statistical techniques, this opinion is disputed, but there has not actually been an opportunity to challenge this part of Nirvana vs S'aBatu -4002 in the last eight thousand years.

What is a farm animal? Simply, an animal covered under Asmodeus vs Erastil undated, as interpreted by later rulings. A similar term appears in other jurisdictions' property law, but not in Pharasma's courts.

Abaddon vs Callow -3289: goblins are not farm animals. Officially because they have souls, but the transcript shows that most of the court was incredulous at the idea, implying that there were other obvious reasons. Axis vs Catchall -2407: pets are farm animals, confirming that the term 'farm animal' has nothing to do with agriculture. In re Smith -2328: feeding an animal only counts as 'controlling' it if the animal's behavior was modified significantly or in a way that made it dependent on continued feeding, and the person intended the feeding to have some lasting effect on the animal. Erastil vs Aolar -1210: any entity with 3 or higher Intelligence is not an animal."

"I'm curious about feral children."

(A Planar Inquiry only gives you one question, but her question ended with 'with elaboration on anything else you think I might want to know'.)

"I assume you mean, if they have measured Intelligence of 2 or less. They would normally be covered under 'medical' and 'disabled person' law... Because their natural state is in a society, right? Actually that's debatable, and I'm not an expert on the Green Faith. Ask three-vertical-dots hollow-diamond long-zig-zag; she's an Arbiter who lives in Aktun and charges about my consulting rate.

Anyway, Hell vs Masks 3340 stated that a population of Intelligence 2 Halflings were not farm animals, but they were being deliberately poisoned."