"It does in his knowledge of the future, which of course gets less accurate the more we change, but I don't know any reason to think the timing of this would be different..." Aroden won't be able to protect Arazni's body when Aroden is dead, and it doesn't seem worth the risk in order to preserve the possibility of resurrection in an age of glory that will never come. But she can't say that.

"I think probably we will ultimately decide to destroy her." If that wasn't obvious from how devastated she still visibly is. "But I'm glad to have Aroden think more on it, where the cost of that is low. And there's probably some chance He wants to bait Geb, honestly - no one else is likely to take him down -

- I keep thinking about the Arazni in Elie's world. I could probably kill her. I absolutely couldn't afford whatever Geb did in response."

"You don't. Aroden doesn't, I don't - not that I think I could, on my own."

"Well, it happened after I ascended, it's more expensive for that me than for this me.

- I'm being stupid, I know. I apologize."

"I forgive you for grieving our dead and irretrievable friend."

"When I feel overwhelmed I'm distant with you to a degree that is profoundly unfair, given that you are also in pain. I mean to keep doing it but I do not claim that I am treating you fairly, and I wish I knew more about how to stop being in this much distress, for many reasons but among them that I could then collaborate with you more effectively. I think asking you to leave was better than my other options but it was - not fair, actually, and I am sorry."

"I suppose. It seems to me that it is not actually your responsibility, to comfort me when I'm in pain - You have a lot of responsibilities and it does not seem fair to you to add that one."

"I think the things that are taking precedence over that all should take precedence over that." Sigh. "I suppose it's as I said, I'm glad you have Elie. I used to worry about what you'd get up to when we were gone and - I worry much less about that now."

"I suppose that makes sense of it - I wasn't sure what you meant by that, when you said it yesterday. I thought there might have been some misunderstanding." She's still not entirely sure whether Iomedae means that Élie will be a good influence on her or that a chaotic good potential rival archmage will keep her in check. The thought that it might be the latter is upsetting, but she's not going to let that show now. It would be unprofessional.

"I did not mean to pry about any of your obvious mutual secrets. Just that - I want you to have - the things we have so reasonably agreed I cannot possibly find space in my schedule to offer you - and I couldn't really be your intellectual peer schedules aside -"

What.

"...I am now back to worried that there's a misunderstanding here. The thing Élie and I are spending our time on is a secret magical research project. Not...anything else."

"It's really none of my business."

"It's...not your business, no. I appreciate you not prying in principle, but - As your friend I am worried that you are coming to distrust me and if that could be avoided by you asking me questions I'd much rather you did that -

Hell. I'm sorry, I just said my emotional state isn't your responsibility."

"I'm not coming to distrust you, Alfirin, gods, that'd be so astoundingly stupid. You've had the option, for two years now -

- not to sell me out to Tar-Baphon, that'd be stupid even for most possible terrible people, but to ask me for anything, and you haven't, and - I wasn't even surprised, because I know you, because you are one of the best people I have known, because while you presumably do want lots of things I would probably not be delighted by you don't want to tell me to arrange them for you.

I am not wasting any of my time or energy on guarding against betrayals from you, though obviously guarding against a Dominate has some of the same characteristics. 

Obviously I - care about you and want you to be happy. I don't know much about what that'd look like. I've noticed you being - protective of Elie, and more distant with us, and you don't have to worry about how we'll take it, we are taking it as - you having a friend. A - whatever else. Secret project, sure. You don't need to earn my trust, you have it."

"...I did not intend to be more distant with you and I regret that. I'm glad to have found a new friend in Élie but - gods, I've known him for a few months?" She frowns. "Less than a year for sure. I care about you much more."

"Well, I'm not sure that is really in your or my interests but I can't truthfully claim I'm grieved to hear it. You're - offset in time from the rest of us, it's entirely natural to be more distant. And it - 

- makes perfect sense to invest in relationships you're going to keep, now that it looks likely we'll win the war."

"From one perspective, maybe. As I see it - I might have a thousand years to be Élie's friend, and...not that many left, to be yours." She is having a lot of trouble controlling her emotions right now; this conversation would be much easier to have as an earth elemental, apart from the fact that turning into an earth elemental is hard to do subtly and invites questions.

"I think I had sort of figured that when the war was over I'd never see you again - not that I wanted that, I don't, but I presumed you had been keeping less distance than you'd innately prefer out of strategic necessity, rather than more."

She gives a bit of a choked laugh. "You might have been right - about the results, not my motivations - but only because I'd be an idiot who assumed you'd want nothing more to do with me once it was all over." Or maybe different strategic necessities would have driven them apart.

"- do I give the impression that I am only abiding your presence because I have no choice, I really didn't mean to. I'm planning, after the war, to go clear up every remaining thing on Golarion that's cheaper to address as a mortal by enough to be worth the time, I expect it'll take me several years, and I'd be honored to have you join me. But - I have already asked you for your entire adult life and have no right to a minute more of it, if you're done when the war is over."

"You've asked me for nothing."

No, she wants to say, see, that's just what it feels like to be asked for things by the most compelling person in the world.

But it's uncareful, as a thought, though not entirely false, and she doesn't say things that uncareful aloud.

"You can't tell me," she says instead, "that the stipend beats what you could get elsewhere."

"I suppose I can't. I am not here for the pay."

"I am very careful about when and how I ask you for things but I think the right accounting would probably not miss each of those individual incidents as hardly of note and then add them all up to get 'zero'."

"Not zero, no. But - you did not ask me to join the crusade. You didn't ask me to stay or to come back after I left. Every year I've given I've given because I wanted the crusade to succeed."