She does!

:It's because I'm planning to ascend, I suspect. My guess has been that the more you know what you want, going in, the easier it'll be to preserve it through ascension, so I have to get everything right, if I want to end up with my priorities the way I'd have grown up into them and not just some god-priorities that are a possible extrapolation of my own. I don't urge the Knights to try all that hard to be perfectly coherent, if it doesn't come naturally to them.:

:I have no idea how ascending to become a god - works - but that sounds plausible. And you want to have priorities that mortals can understand and make sense of?:

She frowns thoughtfully at Ma’ar. :I think he would want to be coherent like that, if he knew how - I think he was already trying harder than most people, even without knowing it was possible to become a god. But it is very hard, and I think this world offers less advice for it. …And it probably helps a great deal, for you, that you are never afraid.:

:And never alone. A mortal acting alone to try to fix the world has to adopt very different habits than a person who has been surrounded by friends and allies her whole life. I think naturally in - strategies I would want the people around me to emulate, because they will. Ma'ar doesn't.:

Nod. :I - think he wants to have that, and it would be better if he had it. And I think he is going to find it very, very hard - he will learn the rules of the game quickly, I am sure, but it will take him a long time to trust it and feel safe in putting weight on it. He has spent his whole life shaping himself to be someone who counts on nothing from others, and I suspect there are many things he would not have conceptualized as hurting him because he could not afford to be in pain, that he is going to have to reconsider. It can be very destabilizing for people, when it becomes safe to be hurt by bad things happening.: 

:Are we talking abstractly about human nature or are you trying to warn me that I specifically shouldn't ask him to my bed until he's had months more time to process.:

Kariasha laughs, delightedly, and manages to slap her hand over her mouth before she makes enough noise to risk waking Ma'ar. 

:I think it would be good for him. I do not have a very good read on whether he would think so, at this point, but if you decide you want it, I think it would mean something to him just to know that, and he is entirely competent to say no or 'maybe later' if that is what he prefers: 

:If I decide I want it? Obviously I decided that! It wasn't really a very difficult decision!:

Crooked smile. :Even though he might someday be mind-controlled by a vampire such that you have to kill him?: 

:Oh, I still think that might happen and would be very upsetting if it did.  Or the more upsetting version where it's not mind-control, it's him being dangerous to the world and my not being able to fix it.

But I'm not thirty anymore, it's not my first time, my headband does Wisdom these days, it's not going to compromise my judgement to be in love any more than it compromises my judgment to have friends.:

:That would also be my assessment.: She looks down at Ma'ar, sleeping peacefully with his head on Iomedae's shoulder. :And I think he is less dangerous to the world, not just if he has good advice, but also if he is - happy. ...Also he is very adorable right now. He would probably be uncomfortable if I said it to his face but I am right.: 

:He's very cute! Every human is intrinsically of extraordinary worth and importance and inner beauty etcetera but this one is also very cute!:

:He is! I am very pleased for you.: She's smiling broadly. :And I should leave you be, now. I am mostly intending not to interact with him, he finds me stressful and did not in any capacity agree to be here so a Mindhealer could do Mindhealing things to him, but if he is upset later and you could use help figuring out what is going on with him, I am around.: 

:I'll let you know.:

She nods, and wanders off to attend to other duties. 

Ma'ar sleeps for a couple of candlemarks, occasionally shifting position and sometimes murmuring words in his own language without fully waking. 

When he does wake up, he's warm and cozy and he knows immediately that he's with Iomedae, not by extending his Othersenses but because the no-fear effect is very distinct, and he stays relaxed and doesn't open his eyes yet. 

Assessment of how he feels: ...still not especially enthused about parades and speeches in Predain. Still definitely not in a mood such that he would be eager and excited if Urtho invented Gates between worlds in a single day and by tomorrow night they were planning with Aroden how to conquer Hell. Still definitely noticing that thinking feels slower and muddier than he had gotten used to, and writing up more diplomatic communications would feel actually effortful.  

But...fine, otherwise? He suspects he would be less fine anywhere other than here and with Iomedae, but at the moment he's not feeling especially inclined to start crying or hate himself. 

He opens his eyes, but otherwise stays where he is. :Hey: 

:Hey.: She's been reviewing her notes. She finally mostly feels like she knows what happened over the last few weeks. 

He shifts so he can actually see her face, without breaking contact. :I had wanted to at some point go through all of the decisions I made while you were incapacitated, so I can check if you think I missed any important considerations. ...Also I think I do like being here, it is - very peaceful - but if you also wanted to stay a while longer, I am inclined to find out if they have guest rooms or something, I do not feel the need to sleep literally next to the holy fire.: 

:You'll have to ask about guest rooms, my Mindspeech is very short-range. And then we can go through all your decisions, though you're cleverer than me, you shouldn't expect I'll catch all your mistakes.:

:I really do not feel like I am necessarily cleverer than you in the relevant ways! I am probably better at math and writing speeches but I think you are better at - knowing when to second-guess your decisions, and what directions to be careful in, and that was even when I had the headband and you did not!: 

He'll Mindspeak the priestess-Mindhealer to ask if they have any kind of private rooms here, and if so whether they have room to spare for himself and Iomedae to stay the night here. (Surely the apprentices and such have to sleep somewhere, he didn't see any sleeping arrangements in the main space.) 

They do! The alcoves are very small, with the exception of the one where all the orphaned children currently being fostered here sleep together, and separated from the main area with curtains rather than doors. Usually the apprentices double up two to a room. They have one of the alcoves unclaimed but he and Iomedae will have to share. 

(Kariasha is being very disciplined and avoiding looking smug or satisfied about this at all.) 

The two sleeping pallets take up nearly the entire floorspace, with a narrow aisle down the middle so that either of them could duck out without actually stepping on the other. There are crisp sheets and beautifully-patterned woven blankets and extra furs, and no other furniture whatsoever. 

Ma'ar sits down on one of the pallets. It's not as comfortable as the sofabed-furniture, and the straw stuffing rustles. 

He looks at Iomedae, and tries to think where to even start.

She will just pleasantly continue the conversation they were having before logistics intervened. :Cleverer but not wiser, in the Golarion accounting of these things. There are separate spells that enhance each, so we think of them as separate parts of genius. I am definitely better at knowing when to second-guess my decisions, I have both directly lost more battles than you and learned from more books about battles other people lost. And I think you should really read Aroden's holy books, you'd get a lot out of them on the - how to notice your mistakes - front.:

:I would like to! I was assuming we would need to reach your world before we can obtain a copy: And of course it's going to be in her language which he doesn't speak, but he's guessing her world has a magic solution to that. 

:I - should probably start with the first decision, which was to rescue you, and which I did not put very much thought or preparation into at all. I - collapsed in the middle of a meeting, which obviously alarmed my people, and when I woke up I just - all I really had was your name, but the natural inference was that you needed help. I thought it had probably been Aroden but I do not remember anything except - you.:

He frowns. :I knew that Gating into Tantara was a violation of the ceasefire, and it was the second time. I also knew that Urtho's Tower has dangerous countermeasures against unauthorized Gates. If I had known where you were, I would probably have Gated in without communicating at all, as it is I failed to reach Urtho and tried for Need and learned she had interrupted the shamans in attempting to murder you, and I - did not actually think about it much, I just went in and grabbed you. And then nearly died - the countermeasures are not intended to be lethal but I must have gotten unlucky, or my shields were down after Aroden contacted me - I took a levinbolt badly and the Healers said it stopped my heart. They were amazed I managed a return Gate at all, I suppose two or three seconds is just not actually long enough to die.: 

A pause, while he tries to think. 

:..There are justifications I can think of now for why it was worth the risk, or why not rescuing you was actually more likely to destabilize the ceasefire. Rescuing you almost did. My people understandably assumed an assassination attempt by Tantara on both of us. They were going to use the contingency-plan to invade Urtho's Tower if they did not get a reply from him in a small number of minutes - which they would not have, he was taken ill - and if I had not been miraculously healed and able to explain, I think they would have moved on it.: 

:I wouldn't've done it but I treat violating a ceasefire as much more of a - bright line - something no god arranging any series of coincidences could reasonably get me to do - than you do or than it probably makes sense for you to. There are advantages both to being the kind of person who can't be manipulated into that and to being the kind of person who will act sensibly when they think the other side would on the whole endorse the intervention, leave promptly, and apologize. 

What would've happened, if you hadn't grabbed me?:

Nod. :Urtho did endorse the intervention, I think, and it - caused fewer problems on the Tantaran side than my Gating back with both of us injured did on my side. ...If I had not gone in then, hmm. Need was there, and guarding you, but it came at the expense of chasing the shamans. Who were in Urtho's basement. I...am not sure what they were looking for, none of the actual superweapons were there anymore...but they might have known of other magics he has. So - maybe it would have been fine, I could have still delegated through Need to send someone else looking, but maybe not. It depends what they were planning, but - the obvious outcomes are that they would have returned with an artifact Need could not hold off, and killed you and possibly a large number of other people, or that they would have escaped. And of course we would have had less information on what happened, without being able to interrogate Ravenwing: 

Pause.

:Notes should have said but we found Silverhorse dead by his own hand. It looked like a sacrifice for blood-magic, but we are not sure what it was meant to accomplish, the mage-power it would have released was certainly not there. Do you have any ideas?: