"What is it?"

"I-- don't know? I know it started because I became a more powerful wizard, I know that's why Pentex kidnapped me,  and I know it can kill me-- I just don't know how to finish it?"

"That's bad."

"It's-- It's not ideal, no."

"I didn't prepare much entertainment that you can do without your hands because I didn't know this would be an issue. I have every streaming service. Or I could read to you."

"--I don't want to impose?" He is very good at existing while not doing anything.

"I have music. We could play a board game with me moving your pieces for you. I could write down your answers for crossword puzzle or sudoku. I could take dictation."

And he says he wasn't prepared. "Uh. TV would be fine?"

"I have Netflix, Hulu, Disney Plus, ESPN, Amazon Prime, iQiyi, HBO Max, Crunchyroll, Viki, Paramount Plus, and Apple TV. If there is a different service you want I will get it."

Why does Lan Wangji have so many streaming services? Does he even watch TV? "Netflix sounds good?" he says, picking one he recommends at random. 

Lan Wangji opens Netflix and then waits expectantly for a preference.

He picks the first documentary that appears on screen that seems unlikely to have a "plot" or "stakes." 

...he is watching Netflix. In an isolated cabin in the woods. After telling someone he is a sex wizard. ...has he achieved the mythical 'netflix and chill?' 

No, because Lan Wangji immediately departs for some unknown activity. 

This is fair. Lan Wangji has a life, and a job he should presumably be doing? (He will deal with how deeply, deeply fired he is going to be after he survives his Ordeal.)

A show about people competing to make the best pottery is exactly the right level of stakes and brain-power required to watch. It's fun learning how sinks are made. 

Lan Wangji silently appears at precise intervals to give Vicodin and spoon-feed Wen Ning soup and put on whatever else he wants put on Netflix. 

He feels very guilty about taking up so much of Lan Wangji's effort. 

...he refuses to feel guilty for spending all day watching Netflix and eating soup. He has had a Very Bad Week. He deserves soup and Netflix. He has some self esteem now.

Eventually Lan Wangji says: "you need a bath."

"I can get in and out of one without hands. I don't want to be anymore trouble." 

"You can't use soap."

"I could probably work something out..." no, he had him on that point. Not unless he had become a contortionist without noticing. "I would appreciate the help, but you don't have to." 

"You should be clean."

He is going to die of Lan Wangji bathing him. That's how the Ordeal will kill him. Lan Wangji is going to put soap on his back and he is going to spontaneously combust.

"Okay."

Lan Wangji guides him to his feet and begins to undress him.

The tips of his ears are pink.

At least they are going to die of embarrassment together?

He bites back an apology, because that will only make it worse. 

Lan Wangji has a completely impassive face with absolutely no emotions about this whatsoever.