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greenverse quackity on the dream smp
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Actually we are at best acquaintances and it's honestly super awkward because I have to put way too much effort into treating him in a way that is remotely normal and also I'm pretty sure he just had an incredibly messy breakup and it was sort of ambiguously my fault, he does not say. 

"I will seduce every man on this server with my knowledge of accounting and my sunny personality," he says instead, mock-solemn. 

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"Hey, you already--"

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Tommy sticks his fingers in his ears. "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

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That gets a giggle and a wink. 

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He grins back. "Hey, man, I don't know what you're objecting to, I'm just talking about balance sheets." 

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“Good. I approve. Balance sheets only while wooing my brother.”

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Wilbur turns faintly pink. “Stop it, Tommy, he is not wooing me. Apologize.”

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“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound particularly sorry. He builds the cobblestone out farther. 

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Brother?? He's not asking where Tommy can hear, though. 

"I mean, I could be. You don't know my life. —apology accepted." 

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“That’s what I’m saying!”

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“I’m just saying we shouldn’t assume, that’s all. What do they say about assuming?”

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“It’s got ass in it? Ass. Ass. Ass.”

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“You know what, close enough.”

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This is-- fun. It's cheerful, it's almost aggressively normal, and after-- everything-- it's actually helping. "I mean, if you don't want to assume, you could always ask," and he's laughing too. 

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“What do you say, other Quackity, want to stay up and talk about accounting?” 

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"Aw, babe, I'll balance your books for you any time you want." 

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"Gotta take advantage before I depreciate."

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"I mean, I'm sure someone's going to be taking advantage--" and now he's laughing again. 

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“I’M LEAVING!” Tommy declares, but he’s smiling too. “Quackity, no hurting Wilbur while I’m gone. Wilbur, try not to be too psycho.”

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(Wilbur’s smile fades, at psycho.) “Bye, Tommy.”

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"Solemnly swear I will not hurt him. Bye." 

He's... hm. Not totally sure he wants to ask, not totally sure he doesn't. 

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“Aw, not even a little hurting?” Wilbur can’t read Quackity’s mind; if he has something to ask, he’ll have to say. 

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The smile's back? Maybe it was nothing. 

"Well. Maybe a little hurting, if you ask me nicely." 

(His choices are so questionable. However, consider: his brain can shut the fuck up.) 

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“Sure, I can be a good boy for you.” He flutters his eyelashes at Quackity.

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"Hm, I'm not sure I believe you." 

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