carissa meets a tyrant
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Carissa does not have the slightest complaints about her treatment, which seems to involve being alive and not even tortured a little bit. 

 

She puts the earplugs back in when the deal is done and stands motionless at attention until they're done.

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The lemon demon is very cheerful about her comic recs, she really lucked out there! Once all the shopping is completed including the fairy circle she is ready to go home.

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Dismissal.  It doesn't even really feel like doing magic but apparently it's a key step somehow.

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Demon goes poof in ten rounds.

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Then in that case, Duke Sikandros will - visibly relax, slightly - and turn to Carissa.

"Now that the crisis is passed, I believe I owe you an apology," he says.

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Shit fuck she doesn't know the rules of this game anymore -

 

 

 

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"Well, I believe I owe you my life."

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"... Entirely possible," he says. "Nonetheless we are presently stranded in a sphere of flame extending at least four thousand miles in every direction, so I cannot simply consider myself your benefactor any longer. Though if you want copies of everything in the largest library in Absalom, that was one of the items I compacted for."

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????????

 

 

He can't mean that they're here, or even a representative ten of them, because she'd see them. Maybe he compacted to get them in the future?

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"My lord, why don't you start by telling me what you plan to do that you're apologizing for, and then move on to bribing me about it."

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"I am apologizing for shanghaiing you and causing you to be stranded in the middle of an at-least-four-thousand-mile-wide sphere of fire, as it happens," he says.

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" - I think it's probably not Hell, Hell has ground. Probably it's the Elemental Plane of Fire. ...I'm sorry I guessed wrong." Is that playing the game right?

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"... I accept your apology," he manages. "But I believe the relevant element," he says, "is that I am presently attempting to learn more about your world and I would value your help, but I am wholly willing to let you leave in whatever place you desire now that this most urgent crisis is finished," (and he has BOOKS that can teach him MAGIC that have been leaked to HELL and can therefore get leaked to EARTH, though not as fast as if he went back) "once we have escaped from, apparently, the Elemental Plane of Fire."

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She has absolutely no idea how to interpret this on any level! Not as a game, not as a ...not-game.....is he trying to get her to say she wants to stay? Why would he want that? 

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She feels kind of rejected, which is proof that mortals are worthless and stupid and Asmodeus is right to light them all on fire. 

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"Did....I....displease you, my lord?"

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He pauses.

"... I am presently attempting," he says very calmly, "to not threaten you. I believe that you have taken various of my statements as threats, while I did, in fact, mean them as attempts to make your alliance with me something you are glad occurred. Perhaps it would be clearer if I said that I have never, in fact, enjoyed torturing people, and that I have always found that, when I did want to torture people, the fundamental urge to do so was better satisfied with exile. I prefer working with people who I expect will want to cooperate with me willingly, as they are less likely to betray me, given the opportunity; servants are less likely to spend valuable resources searching for an escape route than slaves. I do not, in fact, intend to harm you, whatever you do; my desire is, rather, to cooperate with you in escaping the Elemental Plane of Fire."

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" - oh. Well, I haven't specified what you'd have to do to make me regret allying with you, because it's stupid to tell someone how to hurt you as much as possible, but there's no way you'd do it by accident, and I've been mostly assuming I'll be very glad I allied with you, and I'm certainly very glad of it so far. You don't have to bribe me with books for that, though you should probably give me at least some books with Mage's Private Sanctum in them so I can make this place unscryable to Cheliax before they notice you're escaping. I do appreciate the not being tortured though given that exile isn't very much of an option here, I won't be put out if you find yourself resorting to it?"

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"... Understood," he says.

"Well. Fair enough." He smiles arrogantly. "And I do, in fact, need a guide to your world, since it is in fact true that I could not tell Hell from the Elemental Plane of Fire, nor Lawful Good from a lamprey - my own plane is quite different."

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....okay? They're all set now? 

 

Carissa finds herself wanting a hug, which is further proof mortals are all worthless and Asmodeus is right to light them on fire. "Well. I made a deal and I meant to keep my end of it. That's - what Lawful means, among other things."

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"Then I suppose I am Lawful, by your standards, as I do not make deals I do not wish to keep. Is Law opposed to Chaos, then, or to six different other possibilities?"

(He wishes he'd read more Moorcock.)

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"Chaos? As far as I know. If there are six other possibilities you don't need to know about them to stop the demons. Chaos is - anarchy and disobedience and so on. I assumed you were Lawful Evil because you, uh, look much more like a Lawful Evil outsider than like any other kind, and you accepted my deal, and you helped us."

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"And the question of Good versus Evil, and why some gods choose to identify as such? I claim myself Evil, but I count myself surprised that so many others do as well."

Not that he is evil, he suspects, but he certainly does claim it a lot.

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"Most people are Evil, my lord. Well, most mortals. I think outsiders end up shaped by wherever they are."

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