Sep 29, 2022 3:56 AM
the tyrant in Auradon
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Bern HATES being stabbed.

(Yes, yes, he recognizes that the point of this is to not get stabbed; it's drill, but he'll probably still get stabbed a little, even if these people are rich enough they can afford lots of antibiotic cream. But why is Asher trying to drill them in being good at swordfighting???)

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... Padded armor? What, really? They've got all these suits of metal armor just lying around upstairs!

(Alida will quietly compare the sharpness of the swords to the toughness of the gloves. How safe does grappling look?)

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The swords have plastic at their tips so you can't actually hurt someone with them. 

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And the edges aren't sharp??? This is terrible practice for a knife fight!

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He tosses them swords. "So the thing to remember about Flynning is that how often you hit the person you're fighting is only one aspect of scoring. Flynning is not about winning in a fight. Flynning is about style. If you technically get hit more than the other person, but you make good use of the environment and do a couple of backflips, the judges will give the victory to you."

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...

What???

"It isn't... supposed to be teaching useful skills?" she says, which is horribly immature of her, but Evil Plots is a useful skill and there was supposed to be a school and they were supposed to learn useful things! Like math! And history! And chemistry! And evil plots!

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No, Alida, They won't teach you how to use a sword, they'll teach the people who are going to be stabbing you how to use swords. That's how it works.

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"It's supposed to be fun and a good workout."

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Wei Wuxian is ignoring this conversation and dueling the air.

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She wants to change her sport.

... Well, she can at least give this a try first.

"... Right."

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Bern will make sure his armor is on very solidly.

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He walks them over to the Flynning arena, which is a padded circular room with a lot of soft rectangular blocks scattered about. "Are you guys familiar with swordfighting?"

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"No," says Bern, who has never fought with a sword.

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"I am not."

Dance, yes, arm wrestle, yes, grappling, yes, knife, yes, spear, yes, rigged explosives, yes... Sword, no.

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"I guess we can't spar, then."

He teaches them some basic footwork drills.

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They're a bizarre combination of really good and really bad at the basic footwork drills! They've clearly learned something along these lines before, and when they don't have it right, it's because they have something very much like it wrong, deep in muscle memory and hard to erase.

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After a little while, Asher comments, "You all try to hit the target."

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Alida cocks her head. "There something wrong with that?"

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"It's unusual. Most people, when they're first learning any kind of swordfighting, try to hit the other guy's sword."

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"... Why?" That sounds like a way to get cut.

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"It's hard for most people to cut their way straight through to the goal. Ruthlessness takes experience."

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Lying to people not from the island is hard!!!

... Also, people on Auradon are going to get stabbed a lot once the shield goes down. So very, very much.

"You're flattering me," she says drily.

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(AAAAAAHHH is he going to expel them AAAAAAHHH does he think they're lying AAAAAHHHH)

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Wei Wuxian is ignoring this conversation, which seems boring, in order to practice sword drills.

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"I'm only telling the truth."

Is it flirtatious? Eh. Asher flirts like he breathes. 

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