Sep 29, 2022 2:57 AM
the tyrant in Auradon
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"You have classes in goodness?" Well, that explains how they all know the rules Hellevi was talking about. She bets they need to spend years trying to understand it, to stop them from just acting the way normal people do.

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"Being raised by villains, you probably don't know what being good even is, so they're going to teach you about it! --The class was a necessary compromise to get you guys off the island at all, but King Ben did manage to get them to compromise on the teacher. You could have gotten Fairy Godmother."

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She was actually talking to her roommate about it! So she DOES know what 'good' is: A vast collection of strange and semi-arbitrary rules theoretically centered around not hurting other people and actually centered around whatever the king feels like.

"Oh?" She'll try to pack into that single syllable (a) gratitude for this, (b) a desire to know more about the teacher, and (c) a desire to know more about Fairy Godmother.

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Good is whatever Asher says it is, because he's in charge. Unless King Ben or King Beast say otherwise, in which case who knows?

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"Basil of Baker Street! He's a mouse. His primary occupation is solving murders."

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What.

... What.

"What."

Does... Auradon... just let mice into its gangs??? But they can't beat ANYBODY up!

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... Solving murders? Wait, what does that even mean? You can't raise the dead... maybe Auradon can raise the dead.

Their goodness teacher can raise the dead????

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"...I don't speak Mouse."

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"Mice can learn Auradonian!"

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"... He... solves murders?"

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Solves. What kinds of things do you solve? Math problems. Chemical equations. Mysteries. Shit. Finds out what happened with unexplained killings.

And he can't use violence to do it, since he's a mouse.

Which means he needs to be smart. And he learned Auradonian while being a mouse. And Asher, who is not an idiot, picked him.

Shit, shit, shit. 

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"And other crimes, if they happen to be interesting. I ended up succeeding in my argument that he should teach Remedial Goodness by pointing out that he is the true master of the criminal mind."

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"Not sure you can call us criminals back home, given that there's no laws for us to break," she tosses off.

(Her model of Asher is that it won't offend him, and it's consistent with her enraged speech of vengeance polite establishment of her principles, which Asher witnessed.)

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And... other... crimes?

... OK, he probably misunderstood something. Best idea is to keep quiet.

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"Well, in that case, you'll mystify him and I'm sure it will be entertaining."

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"Entertainment, the highest calling of an engineer," she murmurs.

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"Well, you guys are free for the rest of the day. Flynning is my best sport, I'd be happy to show you guys some tricks down in the gym, if you're interested."

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"Yes!!!"

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"Sounds good," she says.

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Well, the others are doing it...

(he wants to go read in peace, but it's not like he has a choice)

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Tetley is going to come along but bring a book. 

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The gym contains a wide variety of incomprehensible equipment, but Asher heads straight to the swords and helmets, which are very comprehensible. 

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(Most of Bern's books are with him in his backpack, because then they won't be stolen while his back is turned.)

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Yup, this is sword drill.

... Those swords look way too thin. They must have some really great metal, to make them that thin and not have them snap when the other guy tries to break them.

Is he also wearing gloves and body armor?

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Yep, he's going to help everyone get gloves and padded armor that more-or-less fit. 

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