"It would be medically a bad idea."

...maybe they taught him things about sex in doctor school and those things were lies aimed to keep him chaste.

"Why?" he says, continuing to stroke Bun's chest.

Now he has to explain it without making Tanidio feel dirty. "The diseases spread by blood that I can't test for and I can't treat? They're spread by sex, too." Technically once he's developed antibiotics he'll be about to treat some, but he's not making any plans based on the existence of antibiotics until he has them.

"I don't have the Galtan pox."

"That's good to know, but I don't know if you have something else. --I apologize."

"Everyone"-- who isn't cannon fodder-- "at the Worldwound gets a Remove Disease every six months or so."

"That's a spell?" They have an instant disease curing spell?

"Third circle cleric spell. It's too expensive for most people but there are a lot of clerics at the Worldwound and a lot of them have a spare spell slot now and then and we don't want everyone to be too sick to fight."

That's useful to know!

Now he just has to restrain his doctor levels of nosiness to more reasonable prospective partner who impulsively got fluid bonded levels of nosiness. "And you had this casted recently?"

"Five months ago?"

... On the one hand: sensible life decisions. On the other hand: "Okay." He kisses Tanidio.

Tanidio considers pointing out that Bun would also get a Remove Disease if he wanted one but decides that actually the better approach here is to give Bun more intuitive knowledge of how oral stimulation of genitals is a common sexual behavior et cetera. 

And then probably breakfast. 

He's definitely getting a better understanding of it now!

... But breakfast would be a good idea. (One day soon he is going to get in the kitchen and make something. Maybe for lunch.)

Tanidio seems totally unconcerned by the fact that the halfling servants can definitely tell they were fucking. Like, "not actually bothering to put clothes on before he asks for breakfast" unconcerned.

He would hide under the bed except that would look even weirder and instead tries to break the land speed record in putting clothes on.

Oh, right, modesty. Osirion women have modesty. 

"Is it just female servants you want to not be naked around? --Also, we should get you more clothes."

"I would prefer not to be naked around people unless I need to be?" Uh, for certain definitions of 'need.'

... These clothes do have other people's blood on them, which is not ideal. "I don't really know how to get clothes in Cheliax."

"Someone sews them and-- you probably have a machine for doing that. Right. Well, here we get someone to take your measurements and then sew you something. Chrisor got you a Chelish soldier's uniform you can wear until they're ready."

"We do, and our clothes are usually mass produced."

The soldier's uniform has no bodily fluids on it, which is an improvement!

"We're not far from Brastlewark, I'm going to go see if I can send a servant to find a gnome alchemist who wants to help. There's paper and ink, is there anything else you're going to need to work?"

"I should be fine."

He kisses him, takes him to the Surprisingly Empty Library to work, and camps out outside to have a conversation via Message with a slave.

(He is unthrilled by most parts of this plan but he really can't delegate either hiring or keeping an eye on Bun.)

He is going to make a list of Things Medical Students in Pre-Industrial Places Need to Know.

It probably would make sense to start with ethics and the scientific method and germ theory and evolution--

A few hours later--

Tanidio uses Alarm on the library. He has the impulse to cast every protective spell he has on Bun at once, and then interview alchemists in bursts of six minutes a day until Chrisor gets back. He also has the impulse to never leave Bun's side until Bun can reliably hang and cast Shield.* This impulse is insane and he doesn't know where it comes from. He wants to be good at his job, he guesses, but right now finding an alchemist is much more important than making Bun a little bit more protected. No one is going to kill Bun inside of the Duke's house.

He just... keeps thinking about Bun's crumpled body on the floor, and feeling something sick and weak inside his heart about it. 

He needs more unholy water. 

Setting aside this confusing morass of feelings, Tanidio begins to interview gnome alchemists. Useless, useless, useless--

*To Chrisor, "reliably casting Shield" means that you can do it while on fire and being burned with acid. Simultaneously. Tanidio casts Shield very reliably.