"Yeah but they can't read your mind."

"True! Wow, you actually make sense. You should be a therapist."

"Would not work out for many reasons. I like designing things better than I like people. I could probably design a meditation studio that was cooler than the ones they currently have. Like the surface of the moon or outer space?

Uh, not that I wish people ill, but barring major advances I'll... probably always cause problems. I know growth mindset and all that, but I got curious once and looked at the research. 

I'm hoping my interests pay off well when I go to college." If Pax goes to college. 

"I saw the drawings you do in group and they're pretty cool."

"Oh. Yeah. Those. I'm not technically skilled but I doodle a lot. They're designs for... well, fish tanks is the term people generally use but it's not super accurate because there is a lot in there that isn't strictly a fish. Um, I'm kind of confused on what a fish is at this point but shrimp and frogs are definitely not fish, that I can tell you."

"I mean, fish are just fish, right? Unless my family lied to me about the definition of a word again. They tend to do that."

"I don't understand why they would lie about fish."

"Well, there are only two genders, Pax! Meeeeeen and womeeeen."

"Yeah, if we're going to interact don't say stuff like that. Even if you're joking?" 

"Yeah well, that's the kind of stuff that would get thrown around back where I come from. And I had to do a bunch of chores that I really hated and have a husband. I mean, they never exactly got to that step. It's so annoying not being allowed to talk about this stuff except with a therapist who is just gonna say the same loop. Beep boop love and light."

"Okay, well, if you say enough offensive stuff someone could overhear and it could be put in both our files. It's technically unlikely somebody cares enough to do it, I think it's a thing where you use best judgment, but bottom line, people report things. And if you want some kind of help from me I would prefer to be able to give that without getting reported." 

"Okay. I will definitely respect your boundaries from now on. I just don't like censoring myself. People are all like, everybody talk about your feelings, but when you do talk about your feelings, bzzzzt Ray you need to work on your emotional regulation here are worksheets. Don't you find that... confusing?"

"Yes, it's incredibly confusing. But to some extent, why dwell on that, I'm solution-oriented. Maybe the course will break it down for me, if I ever make it to the top of the waitlist."

"It's weird. You seem so smart but in some ways you're a lot like me."

"Not entirely sure what you mean by that?" 

"Everyone else is just... hyper-perfect, you know? And it just doesn't seem to be possible for someone like me. But when I tell my therapist that, they're basically like oh nooo Ray struggling is so normal, everyone has room to grow, and meanwhile whenever I get triggered during a session it becomes a whole grand thing."

"Well if you get triggered with a therapist it's hard for regular people to avoid it."

"Yeah, okay, I know I suck at handling at it and should probably just give up."

"Not what I said."

"It feels like people are thinking it!"

"I don't know what they're thinking. Gave up on that project a while ago. I just try to focus on getting what I want out of it."

"And how's that working out for you?" 

"Well, I'm probably getting into college and then I'll be able to just focus on my studies and not spend my time doing stuff I would rather not." 

"Except I was homeschooled and I can't do like, fifth grade math. And my scores make me look like a, like a mentally unwell person."

"They still let people be homeschooled?"