A jogger on the hiking trail nearby pauses, decides it was probably a songbird, and keeps jogging.

"Help! Medic! I've fallen and may have been injured!"

Well, that doesn't sound like a songbird.

The jogger jogs over. "Hi!" he says. "I'm annoyed at you for being reckless in the wilderness and interrupting my exercise. Do you need me to call emergency services?"

"This is a park you utter nincompoop. Or I'm suffering from amnesia. The last thing I can remember I was in a park."

"This is the Appalachian Trail! I guess technically it's a park but it's - not the kind of park you should climb trees in for fun! I think you're the nincompoop here. - and I don't even have signal. I am going to have to run most of a mile up trail to the crest of this hill to get signal to call for help. Next time, you should stay home, climb a tree in your backyard. Dumbass."

"You do that then, my insurance will pay you." What a rude person.

She was in her backyard, insofar as she has a backyard, which is a concept she had not previously been exposed to! Why does she know what a backyard is!

...Also is she actually in the wilderness? It sure does smell...unclean?

The jogger jogs off, less irritated now that they've been assured this person has wilderness retrieval insurance, which they didn't even know was a thing.

She checks herself for injuries and finds no signs of anything serious, apart from the amnesia, which is probably pretty serious! Especially if she's in the wilderness and doesn't remember how she got here.

About an hour later, there's the sound of a helicopter roaring in the air above her. It lands neatly in a small patch of clear trail.

A woman jumps out. " - we're looking for an injured hiker."

"Over here! I haven't noticed any signs of gross physical injury but I think I'm suffering from amnesia, I don't remember how I got here."

"What's the last thing you do remember?"

"I was listening to a book in a park. I think I remember the past sixty minutes or so while I was lying here waiting for a pickup, but not how I got from the park to here."

"What's your name?"

"Alsaiah Vetar"

"What's today's date."

"Ninety-six and six years, ten months, five days."

Something is TERRIBLY WRONG about the way she said that.

- blink blink blink. "Uh, can you say that again? I think I misheard."

"Ninety-six and six years, ten months, five days. Since the first errata. Is this an arithmetic test? Uhhh... Two thousand three hundred and four and two hundred twenty-four and three years since the creation of the Roman Republic but I don't remember the days or months. Am I saying the numbers wrong? It feels like I'm saying the numbers wrong."

"You're saying.... different ....numbers.....than people use for those things - and actually I think you're additionally saying them wrong."

"Are you saying that I have lost years of my life to amnesia? How many?"

"I - don't know what the first errata is and I am more informed than average! I know there was a Roman Republic but I don't know exactly when it was and if I did I'd say it in - different numbers than you're speaking in. I have never heard of a person losing years of their life to amnesia."

"Something is deeply troubling here and you should probably take me to a hospital for a brain scan right away."

Well, they do have a whole ambulance here for that! Off they go.

All of these buildings are tiny and the city air tastes terrible and also still tastes terrible inside?

"How would you test for having thirty-two-and-five years of not memories. Not memories? Not memories. Mistaken memories. How do you test for thirty-two-and-five years of mistaken memories. Because I am having the experience of having thirty-two-and-five years of mistaken memories and if my memories are not mistaken I'm a time traveller or an alien from another universe." WHY CAN'T SHE TALK RIGHT!?!?!??!?!?!

" - wow, that's an incredibly weird problem. It's kind of terrifying that that can even happen to people, actually! You know who's going to involve himself, Dr. Keledar, and he's totally going to get a paper out of it. Whether you have - mistake memories, somehow, or are an alien or a time traveller, he'll get a paper out of it. I need you to give me your arm for the blood pressure test."