"Cable is additional TV channels besides the basic ones that are available to anyone with a receiver. HBO is a specific channel that's usually expensive and makes high production value TV shows that are sexier than the ones on other channels, and we have a package with them so you can get it for a discount. Sports are a popular thing people want on their TV. You aren't allowed to broadcast local sports teams because that interferes with other licensing arrangements, so the national sports teams will show games everywhere except where they are local. This call is going to go over my average-call-duration because you're so ignorant and I'm annoyed about that. Can I sign you up for Comcast with cable, I have a performance metric around that one."

"Why is video content on a different internet than the regular internet?"

"Well, there's also streaming on the internet but most cable shows aren't available streaming. I'm not sure why not. Probably someone couldn't make money off it under capitalism."

...

"And cable shows are mostly for entertainment?" whatever that means here? "In that case I would like regular internet, without cable, nor porn, nor nonlocal sports. What is your price and is it different than the prices offered by your competitors?"

"$39 a month for the first six months, then $99 a month. Depending on your area, we might or might not have competitors. If we do, we're probably cheaper than them for the first six months but the idea is that switching is enough of a hassle you won't bother."

"That's not even diabolical, it's just stupid."

She hangs up and goes to get a cup of tea because for some reason the only places that reliably have public internet are restaurants with a focus on hot stimulant beverages. And look up what other possible internet providers there are for her apartment.

It's just Comcast or AT&T.

Well she's going to try to order some furniture now, because it'll take a few hours to get delivered, and then go back to use her phone to call AT&T.

...OK she's going to go call AT&T now, and plan to sleep on the floor because it will take days to get furniture delivered. She was kind of assuming stores would have furniture warehouses in this city but apparently not???

"Hi. I would like to subscribe to an internet connection for my apartment."

"I'm hoping this will be short because I need to take a shit. What's your apartment address?"

She will give it, while inwardly questioning the conditions under which telephone operators apparently have to work?

"Oh, yeah, we don't provide service to that block, sorry."

"...Are you sure? Your website said otherwise, is it often out of date?"

"Yeah, probably it's just pulling off the county level and we do serve your county but actually when I put that address in I get 'no service'."

why. why would the public-facing website present inaccurate coverage data when the company clearly has the ability to quickly generate accurate coverage data.

"This is annoying and disappointing and if I meaningfully had the ability to choose your service I would decline it."

"Uh huh. Bye."

She will call Comcast again.

"I would like an internet connection for my apartment, I am not interested in cable, or porn, or nonlocal sports teams."

"Right, okay. It's $39 for six months and $99 after that."

"I really hope this is illegal and I can sue your management about it."

"- why would it be illegal. Not that I care if you sue our management, they do suck."

"I don't know the local laws but I am hoping there is some anti-oligopoly regulation that would cover this situation." If not that is one more point in the "take over the world" column.

"Well I kinda doubt it, but be my guest. I'll go ahead and sign you up. The phone tree to cancel is way more annoying."

"Yes I inferred this, it's another thing I'm hoping is illegal."

"Good luck but I expect they wrote a loophole in the law or something. All right, you're all set. I have mailed your equipment to your address. It should arrive in 2-5 business days."