He's not the only one to linger a while after the melody ends. Sitting on the sand, his feet positioned just so that the occasional wave sometimes tickled them, hugging his knees against his chest, he thinks about what his life is like now.
Tōkan likes to think he's hard to knock down. That was something he already believed of himself, back in Zanarkand, but Zanarkand had no hardship. It could have just as well been just a fancy. But he managed to prove it to himself over the past few days. He got pulled off his feet and then hit the ground running, multiple times. He's been rolling with everything, letting the plot take him to the next chapter.
Then the plot forced him to stop and made all of the feelings he'd been fleeing crash into him. He's not very good at stopping to think about things, but clearly that's what he's meant to do now.
But the thing is, he doesn't have many thoughts. He feels hollow, drained, empty. So many adjectives he can tack on, there, because he doesn't have anything else but the flowery poetry that's always at the edge of his mind. A flowery portrait of absolutely nothing, a blank space.
There's no reason for him to think about anything, really, he realises, because he's already thought it all out. He wasn't letting himself mourn his lost life, and he's sure it's not over, he's sure this feeling is going to keep haunting him and hitting him every now and then, but... it does not, in the end, change anything. He does have to follow the plot, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't, and he doesn't really regret any choices he's made so far. Kind of anticlimactic, but he doesn't actually have any hidden depths that get brought to the surface by traumatic events.
He supposes he understands Zei's position on his own sacrifice on a much more visceral level, now. If he could stop this from happening for even a year, for half a year, for a week—
Is that the point the plot is trying to drive home, here? Because if so, fuck the plot very much, he could've stood to never have this particular scene happen in his story.
Well. Regardless, nothing's changed, he has no new insights, he's just in a lot of pain and very very tired and he needs to sleep. And then tomorrow the plot will resume.
He could do with someone to warm his bed now though and ohhhhhhh so that's what Wakka meant, people who live in fear of kaiju would totally be using sex as a coping mechanism and source of distraction wouldn't they? So he was saying Zei was one of those people, who sleeps around a lot so that he can occasionally forget about the weight of the world bearing on his shoulders? Honestly, legit.