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In Love's name and for Love's sake, I assert that I will employ the Art which is its gift in Love's service alone, rejecting all other usages.
I will spread joy and ease pain. I will fight to preserve what loves and rejoices well in its own way, and I will change no object or creature unless its joy and love, or that of the system of which it is part, are threatened.
To these ends, in the practice of my Art, I will put aside despair for hope, and hatred for love, when it is right to do so-- Until Universe's end.
Y/N
wen ning is the erogamer
One day he will stop flinching at the boxes. (Otherwise he is going to have to come up with an excuse for why he is doing that.) "Apparently it agrees with you."
don't-look-down
"Well, hit 'accept.' --Wait, if you accept a quest do you have to do something about it immediately, or can you wait and prioritize other things?"
A quest will generally not automatically fail if you deprioritize it for a while. If a quest has a time limit, the time limit is a feature of the world, not the quest, and failing to accept it will not give you more time in which to complete it. No currently active quests have time limits. However, if you accept a quest, you commit to doing it at some point; if you do not ever do it, eventually the quest will fail.
"I could wait and prioritise other things as long as there isn't a time limit, but the time limit isn't a feature of the quest as much as-- if I had a 'Make John Doe happy' quest, and he's in town for a week, that would be time limited. If I don't do it for long enough, it will count as failed."
don't-look-down
"I think it should have a to do list. So that you can keep track of all the things you're supposed to do and don't have to rely on scrolling through the absurd number of quests it gives you. --I suppose sometimes it doesn't want to tell you what the next action is but it's omniscient, it can track what your plans are at least."
You are now under a status effect! Your sister's actions have put you under the status effect 'Your Sister Fears Neither God Nor Man.'
Manual // Status Effect // Your Sister Fears Neither God Nor Man
When Wen Qing makes a feature request for the manual, the manual will at least seriously consider it. If she chooses to argue with the universe itself, it may also have... interesting... effects. If Wen Qing successfully causes the world to become more magical via reasoned argument, it will increase WIZ.
Manual // To Do List
[] Finish talking to your sister about being a wizard.
Enter to do list item: __________
"I-it's listening! Apparently you could argue with the universe, but it doesn't recommend it? Though you can make it more magical."
"I just looked at the quests in the 'Others' category so far. It seems a bit early to try and do things in the 'World' category, and I don't want to try 'Ordeal' until I have a better idea what it is.' And picking 'self' would be selfish. 'And I decided to look at the 'self' category later."
don't-look-down
"Well, you can at least see what they are, that doesn't commit you to anything. And then you can agree to the quests you're sure you want to do and start work on them."
Quest available: Haunted by the Duolingo Owl
Study the wizardly Speech until you can use it fluently to cast spells and communicate with nonhumans.
Success: 4,000 XP, Further Adventures of The Duolingo Owl quest
Failure: Severe limitation in your abilities as a wizard
Accept Y/N
Quest available: Everything Can Talk
Perform the meditation that the Manual will provide once you have accepted this quest, thus developing the frame of mind in which you can communicate with nonhumans. Communicate with at least three nonhumans.
Success: 250 xp
Failure: Severe limitation in your abilities as a wizard
Accept Y/N
Quest available: Everything Can Talk, But Some Things Are More Helpfully Talkative Than Others
Horses, marine mammals, and trees are all sapient. Talk to one member of each group.
Success: 350 xp
Failure: No idea what a tree would tell you if it could talk
Accept Y/N
"... apparently there is a wizarding language? And if I learn it and also a particular language I could talk to-- it says non humans and it definitely means at least animals and plants."
"It makes it sound like I'd be a bad wizard if I didn't, so--"
Accept, accept, accept.
What are the 'self' quests?
The manual has helpfully popped up a box with a meditation description and a box with a language learning program, which he can easily dismiss.
In the Self category:
Quest available: Massage
Give yourself a nice self-massage.
Success: +100xp, Massage skill
Failure: Tense muscles
Accept Y/N
Quest available: Love Yourself
Normally you jerk off in five minutes because having a sexuality is embarrassing. To fulfill this quest, you must make at least a little bit of a production out of your masturbation session. Candles? Music? Making sure to select interesting pornography? Touching parts of your body other than your dick? Edging? Combining it with the Massage quest? Fantasizing about Wei Wuxian? Up to you.
Success: +100 xp, Driving A Manual skill
Failure: Mild sexual frustration
Accept Y/N
Quest available: Clothes Make The Wizard
Buy yourself some clothes that make you smile when you look at yourself in the mirror. (HINT: Wei Wuxian may be willing to help! You may also wish to google information about 'color seasons.')
Success: +100 XP, +1 BOD
Failure: 'Fashion Disaster' status effect
Accept Y/N
Quest available: A Wizard's Home Is Their Castle
Make your home a cozy, relaxing, inviting place where you love to spend time. (HINT: Pinterest.)
Success: +200 XP
Failure: 'Decorating Disaster' status effect
Accept Y/N
Quest available: Take Yourself Out On A Date
Plan a date you would like and take yourself on it. Try your best not to feel self-conscious about eating dinner alone in public. No one is watching you.
Success: +100 XP
Failure: The One will arrange for someone to take you out on a date and they will not take no for an answer.
Accept Y/N
Quest available: Reading Is Fundamental
Read ten books, or an equivalent amount of text in shorter-form writing, that you genuinely like. Poetry counts three times as much as prose, due to its density.
Success: +150 XP
Failure: 'Television Doesn't Necessarily Rot Your Brain' quest
Accept Y/N
Quest available: A Journey of Self-Discovery Begins With A Single Step
Find one new thing you like that you didn't know you liked before.
Success: +250xp, +1 NOV
Failure: ???
Accept Y/N
Quest available: Fun Is A Basic Human Need
Identify no fewer than ten things you genuinely enjoy for their own sake and not to make other people happy. Make a plan to do one thing you enjoy each day. Carry out this plan for at least two weeks.
Success: +500 XP, +1 LUV
Failure: Your poor self-care harms you in your battle against the Lone Power
Accept Y/N
Self care now having high stakes is definitely not panic inducing at all!
"It wants me to learn to massage myself," SKIPPING THAT ONE, ER DOCTOR OR NOT "get nicer clothes, make my house nice, go out to eat," because phrasing that as 'take myself on a date' is too embarassing "read some books, find a new thing I like, and do something nice for myself." At risk of imperilling the world. No pressure.
don't-look-down
"Well, those all seem like good ideas. You can go to work tomorrow and bring in a cake, and then this weekend you can get a head start on those things and learning the Speech."
It is so many things, but at least for some of them he'll have... maybe not a lifetime, but at least a year? to try and do them all. "That's probably a good plan. --I could bake a second cake for you to take into work?" He does not say 'because you are more likely to run into sad people.'
...He should check what the Ordeal is.
don't-look-down
"Yes. Excellent idea. Going to get in good with the nice magic entity so it gives me superpowers."