...it is oddly reassuring to have someone involved in this project who is worse at things than he is. 

"You know, the idea that Chaotic Evil people constantly threaten to murder people for no reason is generally considered an offensive stereotype. Most Chaotic Evil people are fully capable of restraining themselves and only committing murder when it advances some sort of goal and they won't get caught by all of the Good people who I assume are sleeping in that tent."

"Maybe I don't care if Hanguang-jun murders me."

"You are so worrying. I hope Lastwall has a cleric of Shelyn on hand to talk to you about this."

"Wen Ning is a cleric," Nie Huaisang says, because he really wants to find out what the fuck his cleric powers are in a plausibly deniable fashion. 

"We can spontaneously channel qi now," Wen Ning says, "and use it to heal living beings and harm fierce corpses. Except for Meng-gongzi because he's also Evil, he channels demonic energy."

"Meng Yao gets to be a cleric and I don't?????"

"You have to resonate with the god who chooses you to be a cleric. The gods who resonate with you are Nethys, god of magic, and Cayden Cailean, god of parties, neither of whom is one step from Chaotic Evil. Meng Yao resonates with the goddess of revenge and lust."

"Ha. Lust. Because he's the son of a whore."

"I have suddenly gained a very clear understanding of why Meng Yao resonates with the goddess of revenge."

"Why are parties a Chaotic Good thing. Night-hunting is Good. Eating boring food like the Lan do is Good. Obeying your elders is Good. Parties are not Good." 

(Levrolurment has started taking notes.)

"I want to be able to channel demonic energy! That would be so cool."

Wei Wuxian thinks that this situation is not his fault for torturing people but Pharasma's fault for being so confused about parties.

"Erastil-gongzi said that you might also get magic powers, Wei-gongzi!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, if I stop torturing people and summoning zombie powers then Cayden will cleric me."

"Divine energy is very dangerous for mortals to interact with. Clericing allows them to interact with it safely. But you aren't a cleric, and you were plane-shifted by Nethys and then had a long conversation with Cayden Cailean. So Erastil-gongzi thinks that something very weird is going to happen to you probably."

"Like, no one knows what my powers are?"

"...they will probably be in some way themed around Nethys or Cayden Cailean, and also come with painful and inconvenient side effects?"

"Cool."

"Erastil-gongzi said that we have to pray every morning for our spells, and we should let our gods pick for now because they'll know better than we do what we will need. But the most important one that all of us have is Tongues, which lets us speak and understand any language."

"...oops."

"I don't have Tongues"-- maybe-- "we need to keep him so I have someone to talk to!"

Um. Probably he should say something about this? Murder seems bad?

But Wei-gongzi might be angry at him. 

To Wen Ning: "you are the worst cleric of a Good god I've ever heard of."